New Jersey Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Thinking about what it would be like if I had a 2 year old now
Today was my due date 2 years ago and my mind keeps on trying to imagine what it would be like if I had a 2 year old instead of a 4 month old. I just can't picture our family like that now, can't fathom it at all. I can't say I "should" have a 2 year old, because I look at Cora and can't imagine her any different than she is now. It's strange though to have things change so much in just a couple years, it almost feels like a lifetime ago, but no matter what it's still always on my mind even though it feels like the rest of the world forgot.
Brenna
Married 4.30.05
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
Re: Thinking about what it would be like if I had a 2 year old now
I am right there with you. Julia had a twin and I very frequently wonder what life would be like with two babies, if it was a boy or a girl, etc. Even though life is so happy with the two kids we have, and most people have put out of their mind that we lost a baby, it is still a hole in my heart that will never be filled.
Hugs to you.
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I know exactly what you mean, Brenna. And, even if nobody else remembers those due dates (and, really, I wouldn't expect them to), we do. And, they are bittersweet. I feel the exact same way as you - if either of the other two times I was pregnant had become a live baby, I wouldn't have my Alana, and I can't imagine that.
Maybe that's why my lost embryo hurts so much....because it was after Alana. Hmmm.....
Big hugs to you today, Brenna.....I understand and will think about your baby today....
Not a newbie, but, had to create a new account - formerly LBR_NJ
My Blog - "Helping Make Sense"
Mommy to Stephanie Lena - 2.13.07 and Evan Ralph - 9.23.10
Angel Baby (m/c at 9 weeks) - 1.2.09
Christmas Card Picture - 2011
(aka: the only picture I could get of them together that was not blurry and had them both sitting still!)
Click here for My Bio
The Stephanie Song...click here to listen!
((hugs)) its hard...i keep thinking "i should be x weeks pg" and about how id be getting ready to have the baby soon...
i know what you mean about feeling like its always there in your head even if nobody else seems to remember...its a very lonley feeling. but know that your LO was loved, and that they are out there looking out for you.
a mother never forgets.
BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
missing my baby everyday
BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
Monica, I felt that way right after we terminated but I felt even stronger about it when I concieved exactly 1 year later to the day and then to have Cora actually born on the same date as the D&E felt like my big sign.
Lisa, I do think if things had ended with a loss it would have been much more difficult. That was actually the reason why we went back to the RE and how I got DH on board.
Thanks everyone. It's nice to be able to acknowledge it someplace and I think of the other nesties who have been through similiar experiences often.
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
I know what you mean. I lost four and every year around the time each should have been born, I get really weepy. With our last loss, it was pretty far along. We did a lot of testing and found out the baby was a girl. So, every time my dd says she wants a sister, I brace myself. And I look out at the tree we planted in the backyard, with pink flowers, and it gives me some small comfort. I call it our "Niamh" tree, which is what I would have named her. I like to think of my daughter that thankfully DID make it, resting under that tree once it grows big enough.
I'm very sorry you have had to suffer this--hold on to that new baby of yours even tighter today.