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So sick of hearing this... BF rant/discussion
I am sick and tired of being told by people around me (both family and strangers alike) that Wyatt is 'too old' to be breastfed.
This morning I was being lazy and only nursed Wyatt on one side, so I spent the entire day at work being lopsided and sore, but I didn't complain about it. I guess my 'lopsidedness' was a little obvious, and one of my coworkers told me I was having a wardrobe malfunction. I explained that no, I was just full on one side, and then she asked me if I was still breastfeeding. When I said yes she gave me the most revolted look and said 'no one I know breastfeeds past 6 months, your kid is going to have a complex if you don't stop'
All I could say is 'Well that's your opinion' and walked away, but I really need to come up with something better. Ever since Wyatt turned a year old and I got pregnant, I've been getting jewels like:
'If you don't stop soon, you're going to be nursing 2 babies'
'Wyatt is going to get really jealous and act out when the baby gets here'
'He is way to old to be nursing'
'You don't have to prove anything by nursing so long'
'He is going to end up pulling up your shirt and taking it for himself if you don't wean'
'Your baby isn't getting enough nutrients if you're giving them to Wyatt'
and the sooo convincing: 'nursing that long isn't natural'... Oh I loved that one.
1st of all... who decides on this timeline of when it is appropriate to wean my child? 2nd, why the hell does everyone seem to care so much? I don't BF in public anymore, just at night and in the morning (and when I get home from work... I think my boobs missed Wyatt more than I did today), but it seems like I'm always getting the question 'Are you STILL breastfeeding?'.
Most people around here are done BFing at 6 months. Those who are successful a lot of the time only last until 3 months. Honestly I don't care how their kid is fed, so why does everyone get so up in arms over extended breastfeeding? I could stand atop my soapbox and preach all day about why breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, but I don't because it's disrespectful, so why don't I deserve the same respect?
Wyatt isn't bothering anyone, and he's not going to become some depraved sexual deviant because he is still breastfeeding at *GASP* 13 months. If he wanted to continue nursing until after the baby gets here, I would be more than happy to tandem feed if it weren't for Lance asking me to wean. He is fine with breastfeeding, he was super supportive when it wasn't going well at first but now he is jumping aboard the 'extended breastfeeding is weird' train.
I don't get it. I genuinely enjoy breastfeeding! It is the one thing that can assure me a good night's sleep these days, and I'm not ready to give that up just yet. Lance is going to have to deal with my decision because they're my boobs, my rules, and I'm sure he'll keep his opinion quiet and to himself as he's done before.
Is anyone else getting this? When did you/do you plan to wean? What are your opinions on extended and tandem nursing, and do you have any good ideas for what to say to these kinds of comments? I'm seriously tempted to start saying 'My boobs, my rules'
Re: So sick of hearing this... BF rant/discussion
I don't have any advice, other than to say you do what is right for you. You aren't the first expectant mother to be BF another one while KU! If it works, and as long as you aren't have other problems etc because of it no one can tell you to stop!
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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Well, I'm a weirdo too and still bfing my kid. Let's make a club!
However, my mom was a super pro-breastfeeder and was an active member of LLL -- so I'm thankful for that. She breastfed me while pregnant with my brother, but that also may have something to do with getting pregnant when I was 7 months old (oops!).
DISCLAIMER: If you breastfeed that is great. If you ff that is great. No judgement.
It is early and I can't think to make an eloquent response. But the "its not natural" comment cracks me up. Ummm...your body makes the milk. Us North Americans are the earliest weaners (giggle) in the world. Most cultures bf at least partially until 4 years. Medical professionals reccomend at least some breast milk until at least 2 years old. So
One last caveat. I had a little girl in my class last year who breastfed until 3. The reason? When she was 18 months old her mom was about to totally wean her and she was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors told mom to NOT stop. They said it would just be too confusing and devastating for her. (Now she's a healthy 6 year old)
Jenny McCarthy = Former Playmate and MTV host
Pediatrician = Doctor with extensive experience and education on children.
Bumpies = Don't get me started!
I know who I get my health advice from!
What are you looking at?
Before having my own child I will admit that I thought bf past one ish was a little weird but I also didn't have any mom friends. That being said i would never have said anything to anyone, it was my issue. Now I am planning to bf until Brin self weans or until I want to wean him and can't believe I ever felt that way. I never really had any family bf around me growing up I am sure that is part of it. I inspired my cousin to bf her third child after only breast feeding her first two for a few weeks.
I don't have a kiddo yet, but I was breastfed as a child later than a year old and I didn't end up with a complex...just sayin' lol. I don't remember it at all. I refused to drink a bottle or milk (once I was old enough) and I still don't like milk lol. If I hadn't been breastfed, it would have been hard to give me the nutrients I needed, so the doctor and my mom agreed it was the right thing to do for me.
I think making a comment to the person about how it's a personal decision and you really aren't looking for input might be appropriate if she says anything else to you.
Unfortunately I think that even if you had the most concise well thought out answer people who are ignorant about it still would not understand. I think you'll probably be best to just say something short and sweet like "we are doing what is best for us" or something along those lines and walk away.
I remember a couple years ago a girl I'm friends with on FB had her profile pic of her BFing her 3 year old and they were both giving a thumbs up to the camera. I was totally appalled. Now that I'm *sorta* there I understand a bit more. I don't think its for me to go that long, but to each their own.
I am still nursing Eli multiple times a day and he is 18 months old. I am planning on nursing until at least 2 years old but probably not that much past. If I let him Eli would be attached to my boob until he is like 5. Most cultures nurse way longer than North America. The WHO (World Health Organization) recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years.
In regards to being pregnant and nursing. Many people do it. and many people nurse 2 children. If had had 2u2 I would of nursed them both because I feel it is important to give Eli the nutrients for as long as possible (within reason). The nutrients in your body will go to the baby in your belly first, then to your milk to give wyatt what he needs and then to you . The baby would be the last one to suffer any malnutrition from you still nursing Wyatt.
Tell the to back off its your kid, your life, and nursing him is the best for your family.
Oh, and I have been getting these looks for a long time because my son is so huge. I b*tched at an old lady at the clinic when eli was 6 months old because she told me he was too old to be nursing. I was nursing him there after he had his shots to calm him down.
I had the same thoughts as Alycia did before I had Parker. I went to me first LLL meeting was was so turned off because a woman was there with her 4 year old and was asking how to wean. I didn't know anyone who did that and it was weird to me. After nursing Parker I can totally understand now why someone would nurse that long. I probably would have been that person if it wasn't affecting my marriage.
Rusty had the same thoughts/feelings as Lance does. Rusty was getting jealous of the bond that Parker and I shared and he really wanted to be apart of the bedtime routine. We also couldn't really go out at night before Parker's bedtime because I always had to nurse him. I wanted to nurse until 18 months and Rusty wanted me to stop at 12 so we compromised on 15 months. Right after I stopped nursing Parker got sick. I still beat myself up over it and I have informed Rusty that the next kid will be breastfed until I am ready to stop.
I should note that it is nice to not be so "tied down" at home every night. It has allowed me to get together with my girl friends a few times a month.
You should do what is best for you and Wyatt, but don't totally discount Lance's feelings.
ps - the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding up to 2 and beyond.
I still BF Julia, too! We are now at the point that I only feed her right before bed and first thing in the morning. She drinks cows milk during the day at daycare, but that is mostly out of convenience so I don't have to pump.
ETA: My IRL BFF drives me nuts. She formula feeds and I breast feed. It doesn't bother me that formula feeds, but it does bother me that she acts like I'm gross when I feed Julia. When BFing in public (with a cover) she asked me, "Can't you just give her a bottle instead of all of that?" It made me so angry!!!
Thanks girls.
I talked to Lance about it, and he said that he is fine with it as long as we don't tell people about it... eye roll... he doesn't want his family giving us guff about it. I have a problem with him treating it as a dirty secret, but it's not like I go around bragging about breast feeding as it is.
I'm just going to start saying that I'm doing what I feel is best for my family to cut the nagging short. I still don't understand why everyone gets so upset over it.
I think the best response is that naturally mothers have historically breast fed into toddler years (not sure what the data is on that but I'm sure you could look up some profound statistic)... and that it's your child and your main concern is he gets the nutrients he needs not what people think of you and what is more natural... a lab produced "formula," or naturally produced mother's milk. I mean he's eating other stuff so why is it more natural to give him milk from a different animal (cow) than from his own mother...? Not sure, just a thought...
I have no opinion personally on the matter. Not being a mom, I kinda figure who am I to have an opinion about breastfeeding, lol. To each his/her own, I say!
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)