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Re: Dadophobia

  • Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.
  • I have a son so maybe my response is weighted differently but for me it falls into the same category as letting my kid sleepover somewhere if I didn't know the parents. I wouldn't let him. If you know  the parents and the family and all that, what difference does it make if it's the dad or the mom. Moms can molest and drink and do drugs and be just generally inapproproate just as easiy as a dad can.
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  • imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.
    what? Really? That really disturbed me that people would be so closed minded just because it's a man.
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  • I think the last line of perhaps you should get to know the father (mother, parent, parents, etc) is spot on.  

    I lived with my dad so maybe I'm a little more sensitive to the topic.  I actually wasn't allowed to sleep out at all (totally my mistake after a lying incident - oops!).  But my friends parents all knew and loved my dad so they were allowed to sleep at my house.

     

  • When Nora is old enough, I will let her go to sleep overs as long as I know and trust the parent(s). My parents divorced when I was a kid and although I lived with my mom mostly, I know I would have been totally bummed if my friends weren't allowed to stay over just bc my dad was hosting it alone.
    Kristy

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  • imageAmyRob04:
    I have a son so maybe my response is weighted differently but for me it falls into the same category as letting my kid sleepover somewhere if I didn't know the parents. I wouldn't let him. If you know  the parents and the family and all that, what difference does it make if it's the dad or the mom. Moms can molest and drink and do drugs and be just generally inapproproate just as easiy as a dad can.

    I agree with this but do wonder if divorced dad's are at a disadvantage if they aren't the primary caregiver and around as much to know the other parents.

    Brenna Married 4.30.05

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  • I think it's weird and unnecessarily neurotic. But I'm not surprised in this generations neurotic parenting.
  • imageAmyRob04:
    Moms can molest and drink and do drugs and be just generally inapproproate just as easiy as a dad can.

    There was a local story on the news maybe a year ago about a mom who had sex with one of her son's friends at a sleepover. So yeah...

  • imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.

    There is no way in hell I would continue to be in this group and I'd be the troublemaker at the meeting with a big fat "are you f'ing serious" speech.

  • For me, it wouldn't depend on the sex of the parent, it woudl depend on how well I know/knew them.  It stinks that there is this negative connotation that a man can't "watch kids".  If we had a sleepover (whether little girls or boys) I woudl BET that my husband would be much better than I would be at watching them, playing games, making sure they went to sleep on time, etc etc.
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  • imagePixiestx:

    imageAmyRob04:
    I have a son so maybe my response is weighted differently but for me it falls into the same category as letting my kid sleepover somewhere if I didn't know the parents. I wouldn't let him. If you know  the parents and the family and all that, what difference does it make if it's the dad or the mom. Moms can molest and drink and do drugs and be just generally inapproproate just as easiy as a dad can.

    I agree with this but do wonder if divorced dad's are at a disadvantage if they aren't the primary caregiver and around as much to know the other parents.

    oh yea, totally. Even Rob would be at a disadvantage - I knw RP's friends and their moms, but Rey few dads, and very ew have met Rob. It's all about comfort, male or female.
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  • imageAmyRob04:
    I have a son so maybe my response is weighted differently but for me it falls into the same category as letting my kid sleepover somewhere if I didn't know the parents. I wouldn't let him. If you know  the parents and the family and all that, what difference does it make if it's the dad or the mom. Moms can molest and drink and do drugs and be just generally inapproproate just as easiy as a dad can.

    This is totally how I feel. It has no difference if it's male or female, since the tendency to molest has no gender, imo.

  • imageN&V0514:
    They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.

    So there isn't even a option to vote to let him be a full member? So not only are you excluding him but the kid too.

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  • imageAmyRob04:
    imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.
    what? Really? That really disturbed me that people would be so closed minded just because it's a man.

    i agree! thats ridiculous. and sad. i feel bad for him

    hell i am MUCH better friends with guys than i am with girls.

    i need tor ead this article jusdt haven't had a chance

  • imagedebfife:

    imageN&V0514:
    They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.

    So there isn't even a option to vote to let him be a full member? So not only are you excluding him but the kid too.

    Seriously shameful. I wouldn't be part of that group anymore. Way to discriminate. 

  • imageMrsV092207:
    When Nora is old enough, I will let her go to sleep overs as long as I know and trust the parent(s). My parents divorced when I was a kid and although I lived with my mom mostly, I know I would have been totally bummed if my friends weren't allowed to stay over just bc my dad was hosting it alone.

    looking back on this.i was really good friends with a girl and her parents where divorced. dad was a WAY better parent than the mom (in the grand scheme of things) and looking back on it sleeping at her dads house we where in way better hands than at her moms. her dad was and still is awesome.

  • Out of our group of families that have kids, I feel a lot of the Dads are the better option of the 2 parents to be supervising kids. So as long as I knew the parents, I'd be fine with a sleep over where only the Dad is home.

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  • I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  
  • this whole thing makes me sick. DADS ARE PARENTS TOO! the fact that society still globally accepts sex/gender discrimination for dads is just not okay. my husband experienced it enough while he was a SAHD and it broke my heart. as a mom it pisses me off, too. it is not just.my.responsibility to care for my child or ensure that he/she gets opportunities to socialize, etc. discriminating against dads is unfair to both sexes by placing ridiculous boundaries on dads and increased responsibilities on moms.

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  • imagedebfife:

    imageN&V0514:
    They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.

    So there isn't even a option to vote to let him be a full member? So not only are you excluding him but the kid too.

    NO! Isn't that odd. I thought it was like in or out but not this limited membership.  I just joined myself and this was the first official email I had gotten. 

  • imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.

     

    Now there's a bunch of assh0les who take themselves entirely too seriously.

    Open house? Partial/full membership? Give me a fuccking break, they're not a freaking country club.

    image
  • imagethe.truth.hurts:
    I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  

    This makes me want to cry.

  • imageoct11bride03:

    imagethe.truth.hurts:
    I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  

    This makes me want to cry.

    This makes me wonder how these women treat their own husbands. Probably the types who would say, "Heehee, my husband doesn't know how to cook food/clean the house/do anything! Men are stupid, lolz! I don't let him go out with his friends or do anything!"

    One of my biggest pet peeves in life is women who just have to be in charge of *everything*. The ones who need to let everyone else know that they're the ones in charge, and usually the ones who spend all their time making rules and arguing about things and planning things out instead of actually DOING it.

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  • imageoct11bride03:

    imagethe.truth.hurts:
    I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  

    This makes me want to cry.

    me too.. so sad... DH works weekends and is w the kids at least 2 days a week by himself.. and is always the only dad at the playground... i admit he is a better parents than me when it comes to patience and stuff like that...

    this makes me sad...

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  • imagembcdefg:
    imageoct11bride03:

    imagethe.truth.hurts:
    I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  

    This makes me want to cry.

    This makes me wonder how these women treat their own husbands. Probably the types who would say, "Heehee, my husband doesn't know how to cook food/clean the house/do anything! Men are stupid, lolz! I don't let him go out with his friends or do anything!"

    One of my biggest pet peeves in life is women who just have to be in charge of *everything*. The ones who need to let everyone else know that they're the ones in charge, and usually the ones who spend all their time making rules and arguing about things and planning things out instead of actually DOING it.

     Amen!
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  • imagembcdefg:
    imageoct11bride03:

    imagethe.truth.hurts:
    I have a friend who is a SAHD and he desperately tried to join playgroups so his kid could have social interaction.  But the moms wouldn't let him participate, even when he offered to sit by himself and read a book.  I think it's horrible.  

    This makes me want to cry.

    This makes me wonder how these women treat their own husbands. Probably the types who would say, "Heehee, my husband doesn't know how to cook food/clean the house/do anything! Men are stupid, lolz! I don't let him go out with his friends or do anything!"

    One of my biggest pet peeves in life is women who just have to be in charge of *everything*. The ones who need to let everyone else know that they're the ones in charge, and usually the ones who spend all their time making rules and arguing about things and planning things out instead of actually DOING it.

    The whole mentality of "men are idiots" that's perpetuated by women/TV is pretty crappy in general. I'm sure there are plenty of men who embrace it because it allows them to sit on their a$$es and do nothing but it gives men like my husband (who cleans way more than I do and parents K at least 50%, etc.) a bad name.

  • There is a Dad at the park that we go to that I see all the time. He always looks for me and my kids, because they play nice together. While discussing some of the snotty mom cliques in town he told me he gets really weird looks at 2 other parks when he tries to engage the other moms, like he is some weirdo looking to pick them up or harass them. He told me he likes "our" park because he can actually have adult conversation and not feel isolated. He's just a nice work from home Dad, whose wife has a newborn baby and he likes to take his son to the park to give her some quiet time. I dont know why Dad's should be so mistrusted out in public with their kids, like what are they really going to do
  • what kind of moms club has a secret vote to vote on who can and cant be members etc. Christ what is this HS. I wouldnt join that kind of club.

    I think its a shame. I have a son and I like him to have male role models, male babysitters, male playdates with dads etc.

  • imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.

    Indifferent  Wow - hate to tell you this but the women you are associating with in this group are a bunch of f*cking a-holes.

    That's ridiculous.  I feel bad for him.  And them - for being so pigheaded and ignorant and just, well, ***-ish

     

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  • imageTSD:

    imageN&V0514:
    Interesting that you post this.  I'm a member of the Mom's club in my town and we just got an email that a dad wants to join.  He had come to the open house.  They had us vote on whether we should let him in as an associate member or not at all. As an associate member he would only be allowed to attend the public events we do but not the one's in private homes.  Sometimes  a mom will volunteer to have a playdate or even at her house, so he can't join those.  I felt bad for him .In this scenario. Well, my kids will only sleep at the homes of friends whose parents i know really well.

    There is no way in hell I would continue to be in this group and I'd be the troublemaker at the meeting with a big fat "are you f'ing serious" speech.

    Wow. My bil is a stay at home dad and deals with crap like this all the time. 

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