Seattle Nesties
uwhuskygirl
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
ETTM: announcing pg before the 1st Tri is over
I get that people are excited about having a baby and all, but why do people announce their pregnancies before the first trimester is over?
There's this girl that I went to HS with on FB, who has a 4 year old or something like that, and she just announced her "very early" pregnancy.
What if you mc? It seems like that would be worse having to go back and tell everyone that you lost the baby.
Explain this to a non-breeder, please.
Re: ETTM: announcing pg before the 1st Tri is over
That girl is crazy; you don't announce it on fb that early. I won't be able to hold it in and I'll tell close family, friends and TN...anyone that you would also discuss a m/c with. But no general annoucements 'til first trimester is in the clear.
I told TN, a very close group of friends, my husband (duh), and family (sisters, brother, moms, dads). I basically told the people I would turn to for support if we did suffer a miscarriage so they're not hit out of nowhere by me being a complete mess.
I think announcing before the first trimester is crazy.... so much can go wrong.
That's what I thought, but then I thought maybe I was missing something.
A friend of mine announced at 5 weeks on FB and did end up having a miscarriage and ultimately deleted her FB over it. She was devastated and hated all the questions.
Okay, so everyone knew I was KTFU by the time I was 8-9 weeks along.
Why?
- because I had morning sickness really bad, it was a pain to keep it a secret having to come up with tons of excuse why I wasn't/didn't feel like doing things.
- I've had a m/c before and I'd rather have my close family and friends know that way they are there to support you if it happens again! - regardless if I'd told them I was KU before I m/c or not I'd tell them we had a m/c so it makes little difference to me either way.
That all being said, that is about the soonest I'd tell people.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
I announced after I heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks. At that point I felt I was safe to do it. I also couldn't keep it in any longer because the people I saw on a daily basis were already asking questions.
My friend just announced hers 2 weeks ago and she was due in September so still very early maybe 5 weeks and 4 days later she miscarried.
What does ETTM stand for?
ETTM = Explain this to me (I think)
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
Yep, you can thank Amandasw for this one.
it's easy---you don't!
i told uw first, then she convinced me it was nestie privilege, and i told TN. then i told my bff, and then my parents and siblings a few days later. a few friends i told along the way..then announced at 13 weeks ish before i told fbook.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
I know that I'm in the minority with this.....but if/when I manage to get (and stay) pregnant, I'll announce it on FB pretty early on.
#1 - Most of my friends and all of my family are out of state, and it's the main way I communicate with a lot of them. A FB announcement will be the easiest way to tell those people who I won't have the time/energy to call.
#2 - A LOT of my FB friends/family know our history. They know how long we've been trying (two and a half years), and most of them know about our first m/c (and many of them know about our second). A lot of my friends and family are also religious, and I will really appreciate their prayers, right from the beginning.
#3 - If I have another m/c, I'll also want the support and prayers of these same friends and family.
As far as having to tell people about a m/c after a pregnancy announcement...there are pros and cons to both. Yes, it can definitely be uncomfortable discussing a m/c with people. On the other hand, if no one knew you were pregnant to begin with, then there will be no one to lean on through the really hard times. It sucks either way.
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I don't understand it. We're waiting until after the first trimester to tell the world at large. Right now my closest friends know, and that's because we see them frequently and it would be obvious when I suddenly don't drink booze.
The Nest doesn't count, right?
it's nestie privilege.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
This!
Also I just want to add, I think that until you experience how hard a m/c is yourself it's hard to put yourself into the shoes of someone who's had one that early on and decides to share sooner rather than later.
Granted.. I know that a lot of people share very early on just because, not even because they've had a m/c but because they want to.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
I agree with you guys. I am going to tell people as soon as I find out. I have no problem with it. I know things can go wrong but I want to share as soon as I can. Just my nature. H brought up another point about sharing right away, if I did m/c and nobody knew I was pregnant, then people would wonder what was up with me and why I was so sad. It would bring on another hoard of questions in my opinion. I would rather let everyone know so there would be that support and sometimes people leave you alone to grieve.
Well, I told you guys because I needed someone to tell besides DH. I haven't announced it on FB yet - and I won't until we at least get u/s confirmation that there's a real, live baby in my belly.
Some people, though, are just that - excited. And they don't think about the possibility that they might lose the baby. They're hopeful, and want to share their news.
But I understand your confusion. Most (normal) people wait a little bit to make sure the pregnancy is viable before shouting it from the rooftops.
ETA: Everyone is different, too, and have different reasons (i.e. Avila and Johlise) for announcing early.
BFP 1/22/12 | Ectopic pregnancy found 2/14/12 | Methotrexate to complete m/c 2/15/12
See, I'm the complete opposite of you guys...
I wouldn't (and didn't!) tell anyone that I wouldn't feel comfortable basically completely baring my soul and my pain to... and that list is insanely short, because I don't like leaning on people. Obvs, DH knew, and I told my BFF, whom I've been best friends with for over 10yrs. And that was it until we had a heartbeat confirmed by doppler (since we didn't get a dating ultrasound, since I was charting and there was no need for one).
If I did m/c and no one knew I was pregnant, I'd fake-happy for the public and refuse to answer questions with any substance if anyone did notice I was faking it, more likely than not. It feels... easier/safer to me that way.