Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When dating, is it always for a Future "Mate"?
So I've been dating an awesome guy for about 3 months. Crappy thing is he may move back to his home country at some point (his family is there). He wants to keep seeing me, but I'm struggling. Do I continue on and risk future heartbreak, or live in the moment and enjoy it? Are you always considering if the guy could be the future "mate" (i.e. husband etc) or are you able to "live in the moment"?
Re: When dating, is it always for a Future "Mate"?
Right now I'm living in the moment but that's because I'm working on getting out of the house and meeting new people. I was very isolated during my marriage and made to feel guilty about normal relationships so I'm trying to foster new ones working on normal human interaction again (wow that makes me sound like a cavewoman!).
I think it's fine to date someone even if you realize that they might not be a future spouse as long as you're enjoying yourself BUT the harm is that you might end up getting hurt and falling for someone you knew from the get-go wasn't a good match for you. Since you have kids you run the risk of introducing them to someone who they also might get attached to (if you end up having them meet) and that's a major consideration.
To be honest, I'm sure there will be plenty of other awesome guys out there for you whose lives will mesh with yours better. It's great to have fun but it's important to weigh the risks (heartbreak, attachment, loss) over the benefits. Only you can decide if it's worth it.
dup
I was in a similar situation. Was dating a guy, we were really into each other, but he accepted a job offer that moved him to another city. We did the LDR thing for a little while, but we both knew that it wasn't going to be leading into anything more. I was OK with that - I really enjoyed myself - but he was looking for his wife, so it eventually petered out. We don't keep in touch, but we parted on good terms. I'd do it all over again and for the same length of time (3 months). I think I needed it, to be quite honest. I call him my "How Bowies Got Her Groove Back" boyfriend, LOL.
"How Bowies Got Her Groove Back" boyfriend - love it. That's this guy's new name now (well, "Libra's) :-) It's replacing "My Italian Lover".
Kuus- just curious, are you currently married?
I've seen you on several boards and I can't tell. I thought I've heard of you mention a mr. kuus.