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So here's a question about healthy relationships
Because lord knows I haven't been in very many of those! lol
I'm curious what you all think. When someone is in a healthy relationship, when do you think is fairly normal as far as timelines go? I mean, what's the length of time you think is good/healthy to hit the different milestones of a relationship? Like:
First having sex?
Realizing you have fallen in love with the person and exchange I Love You's?
Meeting any children involved?
Meeting parents?
Moving in together?
Getting engaged?
Getting married?
We've all been through so many different good and bad relationships, and in hindsight we can usually see the red flags of how we maybe moved too fast and it wasn't a healthy relationship. And some people 
don't even understand that they're moving too fast even when smacked in the face with disaster.
So let's discuss this!
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Re: So here's a question about healthy relationships
I don't think there's any specific timeline. With STBX we exchanged 'I love yous' after maybe a month? But didn't have sex until we'd been dating for 3 months. Were together for a year before getting engaged and were engaged for a year before getting married... I never felt like we rushed into anything and were acting responsibly
our major downfall I think was our age (when we got married I had just turned 21)
I have no idea what kind of timeline I might use now since I think I know myself better at 30 (nearly 31) then I did when I met STBX at 19 but I'm also more cynical and less trusting.
I don't think there are any hard and fast "times" to do those things. From where I sit now, I see that things moved pretty fast with XH. We had sex/said "I love you" in 28 days. Sh!t what did I know about him in 28 days?? We met each others kids the following month (won't do that again) and bought a house together 10 months into the relationship. Engaged in another 6 months, married exactly 2 years from our first date.
I guess I think I'd like to take things a little slower next time around and really make sure I know what I'm getting into and definately won't get my kids involved until I'm really sure it's moving forward in a positive direction. I'm in no hurry to get married anytime soon and don't think I'd jump into it without really knowing what I'm in for.
When my XH and I were "trying to work it out" (i.e. I was working on it, he was still seeing his gf) my friend told me something that stuck with me. She said "so what if it takes a while to figure it out, you still have the rest of your life to spend with someone....what's a year or two when you're talking 50 years together?"
First having sex? ummm...third date or more? I am not the right person to ask about htis one
Realizing you have fallen in love with the person and exchange I Love You's? 6 months i think would be good
Meeting any children involved? 6-12 months
Meeting parents? 4-6 months
Moving in together? 12 months? Maybe a little sooner if no kids are involved
Getting engaged? 12+ months
Getting married? 18-24 months?
I don't think there is a timeline that will work for every person and every relationship. My ex-husband and I did not rush into anything. We dated maybe 4 months before we had sex, we waited another 2-3 months after that before we said I love you. We got engaged after 2.5 years, and were married after 3.5 years and things still fell apart.
With that said, my own "rules" would be:
Sex after 3 dates or so.
Falling in love 3-6 months (I think if you don't know whether you're in love with someone after 6 months, things probably aren't going to work out.)
Meeting children around the 6 month mark, give or take a month.
Meeting parents at 3 or later.
Moving in together at 9 months or later, but I'm flexible on this too depending on the situation.
Getting engaged anytime after 12 months.
Getting married anytime after 18 months.
I don't think there's a hard and fast timeline for this stuff either. I did everything "right" with XH...moved in together after 2.5 years, engaged after 4 years, married just shy of 6 years together. It still went to hell in a hand basket. Age was a huge factor in that (don't pick your life partner when you're a teenager, kids). The timeline is moving faster this time around, but I have a good head on my shoulders. I trust my judgment of character again. Sure, I'd never run off and marry some guy after knowing him for a couple of months, but I'm also not going to sit around and wait for someone's arbitrary timeline to determine what my next move is going to be.
I think you have to build some uncertainty into life and roll with things as they come. Every person and every relationship is so different. If I found myself scheduling relationship milestones, I'd be really worried about the relationship, yanno?
Thankfully I haven't met anyone that I really like yet! The whole timeline thoughts freak me out big time!
If I were to actually list out time frames for each of those items, I think what the other ladies posted sound reasonable. However, BOTH times I was married we were together around 3 years before we tied the knot. First time, it was a good year and a half before we lived together - but were engaged before hand. And second time we were together around 7-8 months (knew each other over a year) before we moved in together and got engaged at around a year of being together. Both times I didn't feel like things were being rushed, but obviously, they both ended. So even the thought of making a decision quicker than that scares the sh!t out of me. Of course I know I've learned a lot and this time actually took time to be by myself afterward and reflect on things, so I will make a better decision next time lol.
The first time around we went hard and fast: we were married and pregnant within a year. Then after our little girl died and we realized we couldn't stand each other it went to hell.
This time around I took my time:
We already passed our 3rd anniversary and will be married just before our 4th anniversary.
We met the parents before we moved in together because a hellish MIL for me is a deal breaker.
We both have pretty good jobs and can afford the things we want so we aren't constantly fighting about finances.
Those were the milestones that mattered to me this time around. And what PP said: don't choose your soulmate while you're still in high school.
Sex? Well, my poor BF had to wait a lot longer than 3 dates. We had been "dating" for a few months before sealing the deal.
"I love you": We didn't say that until we loved each other until we had been exclusive for approximately 6 months.
Meeting children: Neither of us have kids, but I would probably wait a long ass time if I did have kids.
Meeting Parents: I met his Dad about 3 months after becoming exclusive and I met his Mom a few more months after that. He met my Mom and Step-Dad 5 months after becoming exclusive.
Moving in together: IMO, at least a year. The BF and I have been exclusive for 7 months now. We have been "dating" for about 10 months and we haven't discussed moving in together. We probably won't discuss moving in together until the end of the year or even later. We are in no rush.
Getting Engaged: I would probably wouldn't even discuss an engagement with an SO unless I had been living with them for over a year.
Getting married: After getting engaged, I would probably say I would need at least 3 months of an engagement period.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.