Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
vaginismus
I just found out it existed when I did a google search of sex hurting. I'm starting to think I have developed this. I'm freaking out now... I've always loved sex. Too much even. Now I just flinch at the thought of it. Dh thinks its a phase or it's because I just need to relax, but I don't think so. It all started after I had a cyst burst and I was in so much pain for hours. After that it hurt when we had sex, and now its months later, and it still hurts every time... I went to my gyno to complain about pain, she did a intra sonogram and exam and told me there was nothing wrong physically and that I just had to relax and stop clenching up. I was climbing up the chair when she was examining me. She never mentioned vaginismus. Now I'm wondering if I should see another gyno... Anyone deal with this. It really really sucks.
Down the rabbit hole...
Re: vaginismus
I had vestibulitis (inflammation of the floor of the vagina) that caused sex to be incredibly painful, After surgery to remove the inflamed tissue and a physical therapist who specializes in sexual dysfunction to help with healing and help me to relax during penetration, , intercourse has improved significantly. Ask your OB for a referral for physical therapy.
A little graphic:
I had a minor form when I was trying to lose my virginity. It got to the point where I would freeze up before my (now fiance) even tried. Something that helped was to stop trying to have sex so that I would stop associating it with pain. I know that's hard, but when if you continue to associate sex with pain, it's just going to get harder. We would also do exercises, like him putting fingers in me to get me used to having something there or doing everything but to get me comfortable with having him there. It really helped. I was eventually able to have sex, although I still struggle with initial penetration sometimes.
If there's nothing wrong with your physically and you can find/afford one, I would suggest talking to a sex therapist. I felt alone, like there was no one I could talk to because sex was easy for everyone I knew that was having it. I was able to solve it on my own, but I wish I had talked to someone. And communication with your husband is critical.
Best of luck.