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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Wedding etiquette question
Since this is my 2nd marriage we are just getting married in Vegas:) I'm not having a wedding shower bc tree just is not enough time, between buying and moving into our house, fianc? moving down here for good from Oklahoma, and visiting my aunt on the weekends bc she only has 3 months to live, we just don't have time and I really didn't want one anyway. We are sending out wedding announcements but not invites bc we expect people not to come bc it's in Vegas, but they are more than welcome to if they want. We registered at bed bath and beyond and target and I was wondering what the etiquette was about putting the registry cards in with the wedding announcements. Thanks girlies:) I'm trying to get the announcements out this week bc the wedding is 3/31/12:)
Re: Wedding etiquette question
I don't think it's ever okay to include registry information when something is coming from you. If you don't want a shower, you will just have to rely on word of mouth.
Life is busy, people have things to do... Is understandable. I don't think it makes it in good taste to include registry cards, even if there's a lot going on.
my photography blog
Exactly. And I feel funny about registry info included in shower invites. I'm probably really old-fashioned, but I tend to prefer the "contact the hostess to find out where they are registered" route.
Our wedding (2nd for both) is this friday. It is family only but we will send announcements out after the ceremony, and then to appease my new MIL we are having a combination wedding/baby "celebration" at the end of March because she is having a hard time with her friends not being invited to the wedding. We did not register because we have a household full of things already and do not need anything, but several of her friends have sent wedding cards and gifts anyway. Had we registered for anything, we would have relied on word of mouth to let friends/family know where we were registered if they wanted to send a gift.
For my first wedding we did not include our registry info in our invitations because it's not considered proper ettiquete. I would go with word of mouth if I were you, or if one of your friends asks then supply the information. JMO
Congrats on the wedding!! Where in Vegas did you choose? That was one of our ideas until we realized that 6 months pregnant in Vegas would not be much fun.
Ditto this. If you want to let people know they're welcome to join you in Vegas send out invitations and let them decide if they can/are willing to make the trip. If I received an announcement in the mail I would a) be confused as to why I was receiving an announcement before the wedding and b) that I wasn't welcome to the ceremony.
As far as registry info, rely on word of mouth. Anything else would be tacky.
this
I'm so old fashioned (apparently) that it wouldn't occur to me that someone registered for a 2nd wedding, especially if it was as ceremony I wasn't invited to.
Well, yeah, that too - but that's also my across-the-board old-fashioned approach to registry info.
This. But add that it wouldn't matter to me if it was a first or second wedding, if you're eloping, then I don't really think registering is appropriate.
OP - Are you just calling these announcements since you don't expect people to attend a destination wedding? Or are you truly eloping & no one is invited? I'm confused.
is it second weddings for both people?
i registered for my wedding, and it was my husband's second.
my photography blog
I don't believe that Amber is technically eloping. When I last saw her (at my wonderful Chiro's office ::the man with the magic hands!:::: ) she had said that their families where going to be there. Might be just immediate but I don't think that technically would be eloping.
JAX - In my head, it's only a big deal if the bride has been married before. I've tried to type out my logic behind that & it's just not coming out right, so I'm giving up.
I think Sweet_Thang's clarification actually answered my question. OP doesn't expect the guests to come to her wedding, therefore these are not invites.
Amber - I'd wait until after the wedding to send out announcements & don't say a word about the registry unless asked.
You might be surprised at how many people would be willing to attend. We had a destination wedding as well (cruise) and I felt like we had a good turnout - certainly much better than I anticipated when telling people we were going on a week long and spendy trip to get married.
Are you having any sort of reception when you get back?
To answer your original q - I would not include registry information - especially in correspondence that comes from you and J.
I agree mostly, but I think even if it's one persons first wedding I could see a shower, especially if they don't live together yet-to give them some "ours" stuff.
We sent announcements re: our destination wedding while we were away getting married. Guests received them before we returned home. Before the wedding we sent invitations to immediate family and friends. No registry info was included in either of those. Other people ended up calling or emailing to ask if we were registered and sending gifts after the wedding.
I'm also old school and don't think that second marriages (or babies!) warrant a registry. I typically send a gift anyway, but I feel like they're being selfish if they actually set up a registry.
Us, too.
I do agree with the others, though, that the etiquette associated with weddings seems to surround the bride. It's probably sexist and I should be offended, yet I totally tend to follow the rule. No one looked at anything about our wedding as a 2nd even though it was for DH.
It sounds like between both families you can't really have any additional guests anyhow, so sending an announcement after your wedding seems like the best plan. That would also be a good way to let everyone know your new address as well.
I (personally) don't see anything wrong with registering, but I still strongly believe that you shouldn't send any registry information at all. That should be passed word of mouth.