So out-of-touch wedding gift amount?

suh5969

I am going to a wedding this month.  It is my secretary's son.  He was a student here at my school so I know him, but not real well.  My secretary did not come to my wedding or shower, but at the school shower gave me a nice platter that matched my place setting.  ANYWAY....

What is an appropriate amount ($).  We are broke but I don't want to insult anyone.  I hate this.  Some say it should cover our "plate" some say it doesn't matter. 

Haven't been to a wedding in years, so I forget all this crap.

 LOL! 

 Thoughts?

Allison711

Do what you can...if you are broke I'd go with a gift off the registry instead of cash.

dmendel

Give what you can.  I wouldn't worry about covering your plate.

maddie7

The going rate would be $250/couple, but if you cannot afford that you do what you can afford. I got married a little over a year ago and we completely understood when the cards were small. The economy is bad and I dont think anyone makes back what they spent anymore. Another idea one couple did was bought us a year of gift certificates from Restaurant.com, which we liked bc we ate out monthy, and it looked like an expensive gift, but they run specials where its pretty cheap to buy that.

cutiepie12702

I do go by the cover your plate rule of thumb - but I would try to give at least $100/head in your case. We were married six months ago (our wedding was $160/head - we didn't expect everyone to cover their head in our case) and the average couple gave at least $200, and the closer they were to us or our parents the more they gave. There were some that gave a little less than that, and we totally understood why (knew they were struggling financially or were recent college grads). I don't think you would really insult them in your case since you aren't super close to them - there were only a few people I felt insulted by (a good friend and a few relatives), and that's only because I KNEW they could afford to give more but they chose not to.

penguingrrl

Give what you can, and don't feel bad at all. We had many people give $100 for a couple or even a family, which I thought was incredibly generous regardless of what we paid a head (I feel that the pay per head thing is a rude assumption, some people choose costly weddings and you shouldn't have to fund that). Other people gave more, but the only people who did were older, established people (friends of my mom's and my aunts and uncles).

tara07733

penguingrrl:

Give what you can, and don't feel bad at all. We had many people give $100 for a couple or even a family, which I thought was incredibly generous regardless of what we paid a head (I feel that the pay per head thing is a rude assumption, some people choose costly weddings and you shouldn't have to fund that). Other people gave more, but the only people who did were older, established people (friends of my mom's and my aunts and uncles).

I agree wholeheartedly.

kandygrl23

tara07733:

penguingrrl:

Give what you can, and don't feel bad at all. We had many people give $100 for a couple or even a family, which I thought was incredibly generous regardless of what we paid a head (I feel that the pay per head thing is a rude assumption, some people choose costly weddings and you shouldn't have to fund that). Other people gave more, but the only people who did were older, established people (friends of my mom's and my aunts and uncles).

I agree wholeheartedly.

I completely agree. I think you should give what you can afford to give. I feel that the notion of covering your plate is absolutely ridiculous. It's up to the bride and groom where they choose to have their wedding celebration and they should not expect their guests to fund it.