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This could prove to be interesting...
DH's extended family is huge and spread all over the country. For many years, there were a fair number of events (like weddings) where everyone was invited and it was like a mini-family reunion. Our wedding was one such event.
But - it's expensive to invite all these people! So, I personally totally understand if we aren't invited to every wedding, especially as more of the younger generation seem to be taking on the cost of the wedding entirely themselves.
One wedding was "Mark and Nancy" (mark is a cousin). They got married in NYC. None of us (Dh's immediately family) were invited. I was bummed just in that I would have loved to have gone, but I totally understood.
My IL's were always very close to Mark's parents, who live in CA. "Dave and Betty". Long story short, my MIL is SO offended at not being invited to Mark and Nancy's wedding, that she no longer talks to Dave and Betty. And in turn, FIL has lost touch w/ them too.
I have no idea of the details, but I personally assume that either Mark and Nancy paid for their own wedding, OR they just simply wanted a small wedding. Either reason - totally valid and totally their call.
I find it very sad that MIL is like this.
Last summer she bailed on coming to our house when we had some of the "NY cousins" over, and I later realized it was because Mark and Nancy were going to be there. It seriously slipped my mind until the next day, and then I realized that "of course!" I should have known she wouldn't come.
So, we're all driving up to NYC next month for another cousin wedding (different section of the family). Now, due to many other issues w/ MIL, I actually don't expect her to go. At all. I think she'll bail at the last minute.
But IF she goes, it could be interesting. I found out this weekend from another cousin that Dave and Betty are going to this wedding. DH and I decided we're not to tell her this because if we do, we KNOW she really, really won't go and if given enough lead time - she'll try to keep FIL from going too.
I'd expect (hope!) FIL to go no matter what and I do wonder how HE'LL feel seeing these family members that I know he personally has no beef with. Will it make him realize he doesn't want to lose touch w/ his family (and family is SOOOO important to him) over something so petty?
I'm going to be curious to see how this plays out. I don't want her to be upset, but I'd love for her to see them, at least start out pretending to be cordial to them, and then realize "Oh, wait. I really like them!!! What the heck have I been thinking all these years?!?!".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Re: This could prove to be interesting...
Are Dave and Betty your MIL's relations or your FIL's?
People who get their panties in a twist about crap like this need a reality check.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This. I imagine it must take so much of your energy to hold grudges and find ways to be offended. I know many people like your MIL!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10