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I feel like my life is falling apart.
My divorce is progressing smoothly, I suppose. My STBX and I are getting along better than we ever have. We are not arguing. We are very civil in matters relating to the kids. Everything on that front is going well. Actually, it's making me very sad that we are getting along so well - almost making me question the divorce altogether, like I'm making a mistake. I know I wasn't happy with STBX, but I wonder if I really, truly, tried everything I could before ending it. We had good times together, and I keep focussing on how good it felt to have him in my life when we shared those good times. It's very depressing. Towards the end, he was abusive and unfaithful.....but I know couples that work through problems like that. Why couldn't I? Did I make a mistake?
And my mom hasn't talked to me in over a week. She is treating me like a child, I put my foot down, and she doesn't like it. Basically, she found out that I was asked out on a date (which I turned down), she thinks I'm lying about everything, and won't talk to me. Her argument is, "It's inappropriate to be dating, you need to be alone for a very long time, I can't believe your even talking to men, etc." I guess I can't even have male friends right now?
One night two weeks ago she tried to reach me at home, but I was out with a friend. She called my cell phone, and I didn't answer because I knew I would get the third degree from her (what are you doing, who are you with, where are the kids, etc.). So, she started texting me asking those very questions. I called her and simply said, "Is there something you need? Can I talk to you tomorrow?" The next day she flipped out. She said, "I know you were with a man last night! I know you're lying to me!"
Of course I try to talk to her about things that I'm going through, but she has to constantly throw in these fabulous lines - "This is my wedding year (yes, wedding "year") my fiance and I are looking at homes together, we are very busy / planning a wedding takes up a lot of my time, etc." She knows I'm going through a very difficult time, but I guess she is getting her kicks by throwing her wedding in my face.
OH, and any time my Mom cannot reach me at home or on my cell phone, she will call my neighbor and ask if my car is in the driveway. If it is, she will ask my neighbor to knock on my door and tell me to call her. My Mom also "friended" a few of my friends on Facebook, just to check up on what I'm doing with them. Often, she will say, "How did you go to the movies with her? I saw on Facebook that her daughter was sick." So, I told my friends to delete her.
So, yeah, my Mom hasn't talked to me in over a week because she thinks I'm lying about not going on a date.
Re: I feel like my life is falling apart.
Your mother sounds toxic and like she needs a life. If I were you I'd be happy that she has left me alone. Was she always like this or is this a recent thing that she's dealt with since the divorce? I'd tell her to get herself in check, seek some therapy and then talk to me.
Is she divorced? You'd think she might realize what you're going through here. Ugh, I'm sorry.
Your mom sounds extremely intrusive and completely non-supportive. She should be helping you through this, not accusing you of lying.
Maybe her leaving you alone for the time being is a good thing. It seems like she needs to think about how she is acting, and maybe by you not contacting her, she will realize how she is acting.
Also, I understand it's her wedding "year", but her daughter is going through a rough time. She should be there for you, and be positive...not negative.
Sorry your dealing with all this at once.
Her wedding year is so busy she has no time to actually listen to you and be there for you, yet her busy wedding year allows for her to stalk your neighbors and Facebook friends?
She sounds completely self-centered and controlling. Maybe it?s best you get some space from her right now as she?s only adding to your stress.