s/o french parents article

azuremama

So, one of the things in the article was that french parents teach their kids to play by themselves.  How?  Seriously, one of the things that makes parenting very difficult for me sometimes is that DS has very limited ability to play by himself.  He's totally fine playing by himself sometimes, but I have to be there basically sitting next to him.  Otherwise, I spend the entire time saying, "no, I can't play with you right now.  I said in 10 minutes I will play with you...." etc. etc. etc.  How do you teach kids to play by themselves?

sara_c

I had a similar reaction to that article, specifically w/sitting still in a restaurant.  Even for J who is almost 7, long dinners are torture for him.  Even if I explain to him that it will be longer and what kind of behavior we expect him to have, he hates it and will voice his objection at somepoint during the meal.

I have found sometimes that if I spend 10-20 minutes playing early in the day, they are more likely to play by themselves the rest of the day.  I think it's an attention thing. 

carrierrie

I haven't read the article, but you can introduce independent play time by finding something that your DS really is in to, getting them set up in their room and let them have it.  I think this usually happens at around 4 at least that's when it became easier for us.  DD will play in her room for up to an hour or more sometimes with her "girls" and cars.  She loves dressing & undressing her Polly Pockets, princesses and babies.  

cricket930

I do this with my DD.  Starting from when she was small I would tell her to go play, or get out some things for her and tell her to play.   From about age 3 on she would play by herself.  I say that I'm not here to be her playmate.  That's not to say that I don't play with her, it is that the majority of the time she plays solo.

Sunflower22

V has always loved independent play. We take her out with us to a "regular" spot for lunch pretty frequently, and it is usually slow when we go in. She loves to roll the balls on the pool table or pretend play with the video games. This started at about 2 1/2. We just gave her the freedom to go there as long as she was in our sight. She knows everyone there so she wasn't afraid to be away from us.

At home, we play together a lot, but she will also go upstairs and play with her toys either in her bedroom or spare room.  We have "quiet time" in the afternoons when we're home so we can nap and she can... hopefully nap, but usually it's her playing in her room for 30-45 minutes. I can usually hear her pretend-playing with her school friends (saying their names, etc)

Mrs.Greeko

I think my kids learned it because I never really spent that much time entertaining them.  When Lucy was 6 months old DH started training for his deployment and essentially wasn't home till she was almost 2.  I couldn't spend hours entertaining her so she just played by herself a lot while I got things done.  I don't feel bad about cleaning or whatever while they are around, and entertaining themselves.  They might put up a fight about it at first, but pretty soon theyll find something to do on their own.  Lexi has never really needed to be entertained, she will just go and play by herself whenever she gets the chance.  Again I just never spent a ton of time entertaining her, I just expected that she would entertain herself from a young age and she did.  And she probably also learned from watching Lucy.  I'll still play with them sometimes, but mostly they entertain themselves/each other.  If they are happily playing by themselves I let them and don't interrupt.  It's good for them and it's good for me.  They spend most of their time doing art stuff.  All the art stuff is just out for them to get into whenever they want.  In this house it also helps that we have a playroom with windows in the doors so they can go in there and I can check on them without opening the door and interrupting.

Pesky

I model it sometimes for DD, like showing her how to play with her dolls and then saying, okay, I have to go do X so you play the grandma too.  I am sure she has learned by watching others as well at DC. 

Chrisy-Wyobride

Mine actually do this fairly well.  All those years of neglect have paid off--LOL!  No but really that article made me feel better about reading a book, sitting on a bench, etc. while my kids played on the playground, etc.  So many of the parents follow them around & are their playmate constantly--I encourage my kids to play with each other, other kids, etc.  I'll push on a swing a couple times but that's it.  They do eventually learn to entertain themselves...but they do resist a bit at first.

azuremama

I guess I just need to push through and ignore the "Will you play with me?  Why isn't anyone playing with me?"  I thought his being at daycare was causing this because there's always someone to play with, but a friend who's son is not in daycare says he is the same way.

It's funny because DD already is more content to entertain herself for a while--I'm not sure if that's different personalities or her getting less one-on-one attention by nature of being a second child!