I'm not being rude right?

megann831

I just got an email from my aunt asking when DD's birthday would be.  When I include all my aunts and uncles the party gets to be about 30 people.  We do see them every holiday and I know they love seeing DD but we just don't want to spend the money on a party that size every year, our house is too small and DD doesn't need all the stuff she gets.  Is it wrong not to include my aunts and uncles?  It gets a little tricky because I would want to invite my grandpa.  To make life easier for everyone I thought I would invite my aunt and uncle who live next to him so they could drive him, that would leave out 2 aunts, 2 uncles, and a cousin in my dads side.  Does it have to be all or none even in that situation?

last year we had my aunts and uncles, none of DHs, at my parents.  

Kittycat196

I am interested to see what others will answer. I am in a similar situation. I was considering not inviting all the aunts and uncles and cousins to my kids 2nd bday party, even though they all came to the 1st bday party.

I know they would all love to see them and they don't see them most of the time except for holidays. I think I am going to invite them all and have it at my mothers house which is bigger than mine. I am only going to have cake and mabe some snacks or appetizers beforehand to cut costs. I am sure as they get bigger and want to have friend parties we will stop doing the entire family thing.

I feel bad not inviting people who I know want to go. You could always write no presents please on the invite.

MrsGabbs4Ed

We go through the same thing every year with the kids parties. I have a HUGE extended family.  My dad is the oldest of 6 and my mom the oldest of 4 siblings.  Add in my cousins to the mix (2-3 kids for each aunt/uncle) and even some cousins who are now married with 2-3 kids of their own already.  I just cannot entertain a crowd that size. (I am talking about 70+ people if I include all aunts/uncles/first cousins and their spouse/kids. To me it's everyone or no one; that way people can't be offended.  I used to not have the space in the TH to have more than 8 people over. Now we are in a bigger house and I still don't bother.  Everyone generally sees the kids at the holidays anyway.

dmendel

It's weird.  In my family it wouldn't be rude at all.  Mh's family it would be rude.  We always have to invite his aunt's to everything.  

ddelo23

I always throw big(ger) parties because I hate telling people no.  In your situation, I would say either the other aunt/uncle don't come, or you invite all.  can someone pick your grandpa up?

lin19

I kind of think that once you invite one of them you have to invite all of them.  Maybe someone else can pick up your grandpa?  I esp. think your aunt would be upset considering she's asking you about the party therefore she assumes she's invited, so she might get offended if she was excluded while another relative was included....I hope I am making sense

mrs.marie.g

dmendel:

It's weird.  In my family it wouldn't be rude at all.  Mh's family it would be rude.  We always have to invite his aunt's to everything.  

yep same dynamic here.

personally i don't care about offending people and if grandpa needs to come and thats how he can get tehre well thats a no brainer. in my mind grandpa won't be around as long so he gets priority

oct11bride03

We've got small families and my aunts/uncles live far enough away where it isn't an issue. Plus no one gets offended about this stuff.

We went all out for her 1st. We kept is super small for her 2nd. I invited one of my aunts, the one who lives the closest, to her 2nd, along with my parents and our close friends. I didn't invite the other aunts and uncles or anyone else from OOT. No one cared. And by that point my husband had cut ties with his family so none of them were invited.

ghl

We have a similar dynamic where my in-laws are a HUGE family when you factor in both sides of DH's family and all the cousins and kids. We also want to include our close friends who really are the ones who have been around A on a regular basis and play with him, have babysat for us, etc. He's generally more excited to see them than, say Dh's cousins who he sees for the holidays but that's it. We kept his 1st Bday at home and small - immediate family only and our close friends. We nearly had drama with wanting to invite 1 aunt who lives 5 minutes from us and has been over to see A much more often than the rest of DH's aunts/uncles but that was resolved in his aunt being out of town that week anyway. Last year, we gave in to family pressure and invited everyone - had to get a hall and there were about 70 people. This year, we're having the party at a kids' play place so we'll be balancing who gets invited. I'm thinking we may be able to get away with inviting one side of DH's family and not the other without offense since only one side has younger kids. If they get upset, we might host them separately at home but at least that's a lot easier.  

kellyann1972

LOL my family would LOVE a free pass :-) But we are on 8 years of b days and a bunch of grandkids and nicer and nephews :-) 

LaVitaBella

I have a similar situation. My mom has four siblings, all with families. We did a huge first birthday and plan on having her remaining birthdays with just our parents and siblings and our grandparents. We always did it this way when I was growing up so I hope my aunts and uncles remember that. I just don't want to have a huge party every year. With our immediate families we are 22. My aunts and uncles and cousins would make it 48.

mrs.jjinqueens

We just have immediate family and that alone is 20 people - our house is the size of a postage stamp.  Since her bday is October we can't count on outside (which is a slightly bigger postage stamp).  So, I don't know what to tell you -  it's hard for me to turn down the few people in life who would LOVE to be there for my kd.  

Jerseyjessie

To me it is rude. IMO you cannot invite 1 aunt/uncle just because it is convienent for them to pick up GrandPa.

Our birthday parties are only close family (aunts, uncles, cousins) and some close friends and they are usually in the 30-45 guest range. Either invite all or do not include them.

Allison711

I'm in the same boat...I want to do a small than usual party for T's bday in April but don't know how to cut it down without offending anyone.  I think in your case I unless you can pick up the grandpa, I would invite them all.  I'm thinking of not doing food, just apps and cake this year.