May 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
city
What's the story about your BF turning on you since finding out about your pregnancy?? If you don't' want to share, just ignore this post. That's so effed up, either way! It's not like you "stole" her pregnancy or anything. Gah!
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Re: city
It's me... new screen name. Not a (nother) weirdo!
It was just a weird WTFF? type moment. I called and left her a voicemail telling her there was some news I wanted to share with her, and to call me back when she had time to talk. Now, keep in mind she's a nurse in post pardum, and BFF. She always talks about loving babies and their mommies.. and loves planning showers. She calls me back, and I tell her that I'm PG. She reesponds with: Seriously? yes, seriously. Are you sure? yes, I'm positive. How do you know for sure? well I pist on 2 sticks one with a + and the other saying PG. Well, could they be wrong? no, my OB confirmed it and saw the sac and blob growing in it. How did it happen? well, one a man and woman really love each other.. (seriously my response) Weren't you on BC? no. Did you use a condom? obviously. But you can't be a mother!?! oh, i was unaware. thanks for informing me. Can you afford a baby? i don't know anyone who really can. Do you need me to give you the number to a clinic? no. I have to go now
She has since sent me a letter via her husband. Yes, like a HS note, complete with a neutral messenger. She "apologized" for being only human and not saying the right things all the time. Seriously? I saw her 8 hours after that phone convo, and she rolled her eyes and actually said to J and me "Sorry I can't be all happy for you and jump up and down or anything. But congrats I guess" Complete with eyeroll. Yesterday she sent her husband with 2 pregnancy books for me. I'm sure it was meant as an olive branch, but she's such a condescending person that I read it as "you can't do this without my guidance so here" She then lectured me about not being lazy because I'd get fat, and we can't have that (I'm a recovered bulemic. it was a low blow) And how I MUST breastfeed because if I don't I'm a terrible mother.. and I can't afford formula anyway so I'd better or the child will starve.
Sorry that was so long.
Wow, that friend sounds like no friend at all. If you can't be happy then don't say anything at all.
And if she is a nurse, she isn't a very educated one. Telling you HAVE to breastfeed. What happens if you physically aren't able, or if the baby has severe allergies.
And rushing the gun. How about some advice for pregnancy. That is what a real friend would do.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. We're here if you need anything, and real sincere advice that won't put you down!
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Wow!! I'm sorry but that is not friend-like. I can understand the "are you sure" response but everything else is just kind of effed up. Sorry you had to deal with that. Sure her emotions are all whacked up but still!? She could pretend. HUGS!!
Definitely not the reaction I was looking for. Especially since I always regarded her as such a close and dear friend. But, this was the convo almost verbatim. It was longer as she continued to lecture me, but I tuned out what I didn't respond to. The really funny part was when she told me to stop cursing in front of the baby. It was the size of, what, a poppy seed? She then told me to cut the negativity out of my life, and that was the last time I spoke to her. I did decide to take some of her advice afterall.
She didn't know about money strains, or J's job situation. We haven't really spoken to anyone about them (except me here, obviously) And she didn't know about my MS until this convo, which came after the PG news... Where she dismissed me and said no one ever gets sicker from it. I've tried to see it from her angle, really I have. But hours later to still tell me she can't be happy for me? Fine, don't be happy for me.. but that wasn't something prompted or necessary. She's just never been happy for me, no matter what. (getting married, having a gallery show, starting my business up.. always met with criticism and dismay) And I think I'm just realizing that I'm clinging to a childhood friendship that was always one-sided because she was there when no one else was. Not sure if that should have me upkeep something 13 years later.