DH got a counter offer from current company - what should he do?

AlXaNgEl

He already accepted the new job verbally, when he told his boss he's leaving they counter offered and now he doesn't know what to do. He's hasn't been happy where is now for some time. But, the counter offer is now more $$ then what the new job is offering and his current boss will promote him. I don't know what to tell him, I personally don't want to see him stay where he's been unhappy. Thoughts??

avoliss

Ditto your thoughts. i wouldn't want my husband to stay where he is if he's unhappy....regardless of the $.

ladyredlight

Money does not equal happiness.

Have him make a list for each company - pros and cons. 

Melanie2003

depends on why he's unhappy - if he doesn't like the work or people, he'll never be happy no matter the pay.

if he was unhappy because of compensation, then it's something to consider

Liz051405

My first advice is don't take a job just because of money.

That said, why does he want to leave the current job? If he likes it but feels he deserves more pay it might be worth staying. If he hates it and the new job has benefits and a salary that you can live on, he should go with his heart.

I actually pulled out of a verbal acceptance of a position but it was a bit different. The "offer" was a promise to make an offer and the people I pissed of were at a company going under (who ultimately understood that the company caused this). It was almost reverse, I pulled out of an offer to stay with my current team under a new company.

In many ways I regret it because I feel i sold out for money (a sh!tload of money, but money nonetheless). But in other ways I'm glad I did it and feel a little like all my regrets are a case of "the grass is greener on the other side".

My biggest advice though is to make the next decision final. No one will be happy if he goes back and forth a million times.

vicki21

In many cases, money isn't the ONLY reason for leaving a job.  I think he should politely decline the counter-offer.

TrishB98

I would seriously ask myself this question:  Why now? Wasn't I worth the money and promotion before I told you I was leaving?  Staying sometimes makes it worse. - plus I dont' know if I would want to burn the bridge at the new place...

oct11bride03

If he was leaving solely because of the money I'd say consider the counter offer. But if he's leaving for other reasons (which I'm assuming is the case here) then don't let him be swayed by the money. Money does NOT = happiness.

penguingrrl

Money can't replace happiness. My husband was miserable with his job before returning to graduate school. It was a difficult decision, but in the end he chose school and has not regretted it for a moment since. Money is nice, but you need to be happy with how and where you spend your day.

JM&AD

It all depends on why he was unhappy in the first place.  If he was unhappy because he felt like he wasn't being compensated or promoted - then I would consider staying.  If he's unhappy for other reasons - then the money and new title won't make a difference and he'll be off looking for something new in the future anyway.

ghl

TrishB98:

I would seriously ask myself this question:  Why now? Wasn't I worth the money and promotion before I told you I was leaving?  Staying sometimes makes it worse. - plus I dont' know if I would want to burn the bridge at the new place...

This would be my thought. I don't have as much issue with telling the new job that I decided not to take it as long as it was handled professionally as to not burn the bridge. However, I don't usually trust counter offers from the company I was leaving. If I wasn't recognized and compensated on my existing merits before trying to leave, I don't expect that will change if I stay.

MrsGabbs4Ed

This happened to me.  I was about to take an offer because I needed something.  Then the other place I wanted to go to more countered at the last minute after I told them I was taking the first offer.  I did the list of pros and cons.  Place I went to had better benefits, better hours but was 30 minutes further and was non profit.  Other place was 5 minutes from where I lived, was corporate, and was the same industry and it would have meant learning a lot less.  It def. took some getting used to (non profit and all)....and eventually I moved to my TH which put me 15 minutes closer to the job.  I had to learn a whole new industry pretty much but overall it was the better decision.  Everything happens for a reason. GL!

MrsDB

i read somewhere that those who accept these offers are usually let go not all that long after.  it's not always a real genuine offer, sometimes just meant to buy time until someone new is trained... or they become top of the list if layoffs are needed.  besides, if he doesn't like the job- more money isn't going to change that. 

melbride2005

I've seen this happen many times in my career, and most of the time it's a bad move to make.  

The money shouldn't be the only motivating factor, as others have said.

The other thing is that even though the company is countering, there's a sort of "bitterness" that could linger afterwards...the employee will think, if they like me so much, why weren't they paying me that in the first place?  and the employer will think - he didn't like us enough to want to stay.  Could cause problems down the road.

MsHan

call his contact at the new company and discuss that current employer countered..is there anything they can do to make his decision easier....

Jerseyjessie

If he has not been happy there then why is it even a consideration? He had to be pretty miserable in order for him to look for a new job. I know if I was counter offered at my last job with more $$$ I would decline. The $$ wouldn't make me happy and I would be always thinking about how will I be treated since the company knew i wasn't happy and was looking to leave.

oct11bride03

melbride2005:

The other thing is that even though the company is countering, there's a sort of "bitterness" that could linger afterwards...the employee will think, if they like me so much, why weren't they paying me that in the first place?  and the employer will think - he didn't like us enough to want to stay.  Could cause problems down the road.

This is an excellent point. As someone else said above, he could also be placed at the top of the layoff list or even just be fired down the road. Not a good place to be by any means!