WWYD - inviting extended family for kids' party

ghl

We let MIL know yesterday that we had booked A's birthday party just to let her know the date/time. It's going to be at a kids play place since several of our closest friends have kids A's age, and DH's cousins have young kids. DH's family is huge. I think the headcount if we invited his aunt/uncles/first cousins and cousins' kids was somewhere around 40 adults/teens and 5-6 kids. My family is only 4 people. Our friends would only be another 8 adults and 5-6 kids. I can't imagine it is normal to have a party at a kids place w/ that many adults to the dozen kids that would be there. We had originally thought to trim the guest list to immediate family and the branches of family that had young children, which would be FIL's side of the family. I honestly didn't think MIL's side of the family, for whom the youngest child is like 15, would be interested in going to a little kid party. We mentioned to MIL that we didn't think that side of the family would want to come to a kids' play place, and she seemed like she/they would be really hurt at not being included. His family takes family gatherings very seriously and if invited, I know they will come. There's no hoping that they'd just rsvp no because they have no desire to be around a dozen toddlers. I had considered whether or not to have a second gathering at home w/ the other side of the family, but that would probably cause new drama that FIL's side wasn't invited to the house. Our house definitely is not big enough to hold all the family or we would have just done it at home in the first place!  I really wish A's birthday was in a warmer month.

Would you just suck it up and invite everyone or stick to your original plan and just invite the part of the family that had kids?  

ATSBRIDE

I wouldn't...that's alot of adults to have around at those type of places.  I would invite them over for cake/coffee afterwards.

laurenpetro

ATSBRIDE:

I wouldn't...that's alot of adults to have around at those type of places.  I would invite them over for cake/coffee afterwards.

what she said.

mrs.marie.g

what i did last year because i refused to have that many adults at my gym. i had a small seperate party for the family. we did pizza and cake.its not to the size yours would be. but thats what we did

irish1114

I can't imagine WANTING to be at a kids party if you don't have to be there!  LOL, they are so chaotic.

I would not invite 40 adults to a play place..there would be no room to move! (at least at the parties I've been to).  I would just have them over for cake another time

bbzangel70j

ATSBRIDE:

I wouldn't...that's alot of adults to have around at those type of places.  I would invite them over for cake/coffee afterwards.

this, exactly. i feel like the adults would be bored and kind of just standing around.

hookersbabe

there is no way i would have that many adults at a play place...will the play place even allow it?

perhaps you could have just those with kids at the play place and then have all family back to your house for cake and coffee.

CrisA0922

ATSBRIDE:

I wouldn't...that's alot of adults to have around at those type of places.  I would invite them over for cake/coffee afterwards.

This exactly...I'm actually looking forward to birthdays after this year since the guest list will be a lot more limited.

Mrs.TheresaT

next year i plan to invite all family and friends w/ kids (and a few close family that will want to be there) to the play place party and then have something smaller at my house for everyone else, w/some overlap of the people with kids. There's no way around it b/c if i just don't invite those w/o kids to anything, people will be upset. I know this for a fact. Invite the others over for cake/coffee afterwards or at another time so at least if its too crowded in your house its not like they'll be there all day. 

ghl

The problem is "all" the family doesn't fit in my house by a long shot,e ven for just cake and coffee. They never did, it's why we ended up renting a hall last year. Even half the family in my house is a tight squeeze. I think I'm going to talk to the play place and check if they would even allow that many adults - if they say no, perhaps I can throw them under the bus instead of it being assumed that we're snubbing them and don't want them there (which we're not but like I said, they'd be hurt.) 

MrsGabbs4Ed

This is why I can't wait to book Stephy's party at a kid's place next year that way I can say "kids only" and no one will get offended.  If I invited my extended family there would easily be 70 something people!  If I invite one I have to invite them all....this is why I kept her party this year to immediate family and just a few of her closest friends.

MsHan

in my family there's a cut off - and it's limited to those with children in the age range for the activity.  Others come if we have an 'after party' of light snacks/cake

AmyRob04

laurenpetro:

ATSBRIDE:

I wouldn't...that's alot of adults to have around at those type of places.  I would invite them over for cake/coffee afterwards.

what she said.

that's what we did. Anone without kids really will not enjoy spending time there.