Would you go to this baby shower?

MrsEAH

I received a baby shower invitation about a month ago for the wife (S) of my best friend from college (J).  Truthfully, I am very surprised that I even received an invite.  When I was pregnant with A I called up J to see if S would be interested in coming to my baby shower and to get her address.  J responded that he really didn't think S would want to come and I never heard from them again.  After I have had kids my contact with J&S has been very limited, I have only really seen them at weddings.  We leave with promises of we need to get together more, blah, blah, blah.  I always try to contact them and say I work X, Y, and Z and ask when a good time to get together is.  The response is always silence.  I feel that after awhile of trying I can only give so much effort.

The shower is a week from tomorrow and I gave myself a deadline of tomorrow to RSVP if I was going to attend.  Most of me is saying no, but part of me is saying just to go.  I could also just send a card with a small gift.  WWYD?

alithebull1

I would respond I am not coming and nothing further in terms of a gift.

 

 

Mrs.Greeko

Sounds like they weren't really all that interested in being friends with you until it came time to get presents...  If there were going to be other people there that i might want to catch up with, I'd go.  Otherwise, I'd skip it.  And if I didn't attend the shower I probably wouldn't send a gift either.

moomeek

Nope and I wouldn't feel guilty either. 

azuremama

moomeek:

Nope and I wouldn't feel guilty either. 

I agree.  I wouldn't even think twice about not going.

sara_c

Mrs.Greeko:

Sounds like they weren't really all that interested in being friends with you until it came time to get presents...  If there were going to be other people there that i might want to catch up with, I'd go.  Otherwise, I'd skip it.  And if I didn't attend the shower I probably wouldn't send a gift either.

This and honestly the other people there I wanted to catch up with, I'd really want to see. 

They want this to be a one way relationship and that's not ok with me. 

Kmac-06

I've been in a similar situation and I didn't go, but I did send them a small gift.

Pesky

I would RSVP that you are not attending and send nothing.  Doesn't sound like there is that much of a relationship to warrant more.  You could send a card but I would likely just send it when the baby is born.

DruidPrincess

Strictly a gift grab.  Don't go or send anything.

gldngrl

I would not go or send a gift. You could send a card if you wanted to.

d&jb52407

ITA with all of the above, quit wasting energy on this one.  If there are people you think would be there that you would like to catch up with do that on your own anyway. hugs!

denverpair

They are only interested in getting a gift from you and extending the invite since you did to yours shower. 

I would not go and not send a gift.  Do not waste your time and energy on people who do not appreciate it.

shanbrite2

I'll play devil's advocate and ask if maybe they aren't starting to understand a life with kids now that they are expecting? This may be a gift grab, but maybe once the baby is born, that might be a time to see if this is a chance to rekindle the relationship, if you you even want to try (and I would only give it one try!). That said, if your gut is saying no, then don't feel guilty.

WineCat

shanbrite2:

I'll play devil's advocate and ask if maybe they aren't starting to understand a life with kids now that they are expecting? This may be a gift grab, but maybe once the baby is born, that might be a time to see if this is a chance to rekindle the relationship, if you you even want to try (and I would only give it one try!). That said, if your gut is saying no, then don't feel guilty.

I thought of this too.  But, there's just something off about what you said.  I've been in your shoes and was invited to a baby shower and hadn't even seen them in 3 years.  Very disappointing. 

goldenjes

I probably wouldn't go.  I'd send a card once the baby comes and see if/when I hear back from them at that point to make further decisions on the friendship.

Noah&ZachsMom

denverpair:

They are only interested in getting a gift from you and extending the invite since you did to yours shower. 

I would not go and not send a gift.  Do not waste your time and energy on people who do not appreciate it.

This.  And, I've learned it the hard way.

MrsEAH

Thanks for the input ladies.  My gut said gift grab, but I guess I needed to hear it from someone else.  I think I am having a hard time letting go of this friendship because they used to be really good friends.