Do you or DH have an overbearing parent?

JessiJane777

My aunt, who is like my mom, just doesn't get it.  It's her way or no way.  That's it. She doesn't understand that just because a crib was safe thirty years ago, it's probably not now.  She's set in her ways and NO ONE had better question her, or else.  She will cut you out of her life yesterday if you DARE tell her you don't agree with anything she does.  She once left the stove on at our house when babysitting...I said to my HUSBAND, wow, the stove is on...SHE FLIPPED.  We didn't even say a word to her...she'll interrupt, butt in.  When I was younger (teen years, she raised me...) she used to give away my belongings without asking me.  When I got mad at her, she's SCREAM at me.  This can't be normal, right?

I'm sorry to vent, but it's almost too much to handle...Have you every cut a family member out of your life?  

TSD

I've cut all my family members out. Best decision I ever made. But I don't ever feel guilt. Most people do so make sure it's something you can live with. No, it doesn't sound normal, what you're describing, but it's also pretty vague. Like why would you put up with that for so long? My definition of family is very different from a lot of people's definition. Blood does not count to me in terms of family- actions do.

MrsDB

it sounds like she has some major issues.  obviously i can't "diagnose" someone from a paragraph (or at all, i'm just saying maybe she has no issues and chooses to be that way), but no, normal people don't act like that. maybe tell her how much it effects you, that you love her, and want to see her be happier and not be so angry.  my first instinct is to help someone, to offer them support.... but if they're unwilling to after a heartfelt, calm approach, well you have every right to cut that relationship out of your life.  does she act like that with your kids?  it sounds like she's overly defensive, maybe she would benefit from some therapy.  I can be KINDA like that, i read into things being critical of me. It stems from my overly critical father, i have a hard time putting my guard down with anyone. Even though I know where it comes from, i also know it's my issue, and i can't expect anyone else to put up with it. I'm thankful they do when it does come out. Hopefully she'd be receptive of a private conversation about it and see it's coming from a place of love. 

MrsDB

oh and the crib thing- yeah, my dad and his gf thought i was ridiculous for not accepting a 30 year old crib from her. Her kids are still alive after sleeping in it, so why wouldn't mine be? It's not like every dangerous thing = instant death upon contact, but it was like a huge big deal and they couldn't accept a nice "No thank you" i feel for you there!

ladyredlight

My mothers parents were like that with my parents.  They almost broke my parents marriage up thats how much they meddled in it.  After I was born they came to the hospital fully expected to drive my mother home with me.  Um - yeah.  I never knew them well as my grandmother died when I was 5, but I am glad I didn't have to deal with them.