Pets
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Want a Dachshund?
Well had it been the program I originally wanted to get in, but changed my mind, I would have been able to make it work. But i had a life experience that made me choose a different career track. So we did think about it and I did make a commitment. I want him to have the best life possible though. And if all I can give him is a crate for that long, then he deserves better.
I understand the frustration for the people who work in that field on here. I'm not going to just dump him into the system.
Trust me a shelter is not really an option.
That is the thing though- you got the dog before you were settled. You weren't in a program, you didn't have a career, you didn't know where you would be working, how long your commute would be, and you didn't know what your hours would be like. You didn't know that long term you'd be able to care for a dog and you didn't have a back up plan like a dog walker, day care etc that you could fall back on if plans changed (which they did). Lots of things in life are unpredictable and life events can happen that are unforeseen, but when you know that things will be changing and you can't commit to do what it takes to make it work then it isn't a good idea to get a pet. Obviously hindsight is 20/20, but from what you described it sounds like there were probably indications it would be better to wait to get a dog. There is a life lesson here, not just with respect to pets.
No, you DON'T deserve to have a pet. If you were good to your pet you would work with your pet to fix the problem. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know you in real life, as I try to not associate with people who think it's ok to just get rid of pets when they become inconvenient. You are home all day long. What is stopping you from fixing the problems you have? And I'm sorry, a paycut? How expensive do you think this dog is? Food, water, exercise and love. The least expensive of those 4 is what you seem incapable of.
Katie Talks About...
There is more to this that is frustrating than just the thought of dumping a dog in a shelter. I think what is frustrating is that every time someone re-homes a pet it strains the system. It takes up a foster home or an adoptive home that could otherwise have gone to save the life of a dog in a shelter.
Most breeders also contribute to this problem as they add more animals to an overwhelmed system. A small number of breeders are truly reputable and contribute more than just additional dogs. A reputable breeder would take your dog back and would personally try to find the dog a new home. My guess is that the breeder you went with isn't as reputable as you thought. It is a mistake a lot of people make.
There are so many people that don't do the proper research into getting a pet, don't properly research training methods, and don't have the proper attitude about pet ownership. That results in more dogs than you can imagine that are looking for new homes. There aren't enough homes for these dogs as it is and now there is another. That is the frustrating part.
First if you did read the other board. It's not about the potty training. It's about me not being home 12-13 hrs, my DH as well and having to crate him, bc with the pay cut, no we CANNOT afford to have someone walk him or afford doggy daycare, bc with the pay cut.. we might not be able to afford all of our bills. It's not about him being inconvenient, it's about making him happy and he won't be if he is in a crate more than half the day and then at night..
I don't care if I disgust you, you disgust me. You're being so judgmental. You clearly are not understanding the whole story.
About my friend. She has 2 dogs, they get along with mine and was not planning on taking in another dog. But, she loves my baby and wouldnt mind taking him in.
I have not checked with the breeder. I will be doing so if my friend is not interested. They were very nice people. I spent some time with them.
Katie Talks About...
Ok, then tell me because I'm clearly blind. What accommodations can I make for my pet? I can't afford to pay someone. I don't know anyone in the area I live in. My only friend in the state that I live in that I could ask.. lives an hour and a half away. She has a life and can't drive that far to my house every day. So what exactly should I do. Tell me.
I would love to keep him. that would make me incredibly happy. If my DH can negotiate a way into keeping the pay he has just until I finish my program (Only about 3 months) I will gladly put him in doggy day care. If he can't I don't see a way to make it work. It's very unfortunate and I understand that my baby will be upset. I will too, trust me, I'm not coming to this conclusion lightly. Every time I think about it I cry.
That's what is making me so upset about how judgmental almost everyone has been. They don't understand, I'll say it. They don't. Because I want nothing more than to keep him.
I judge. One of my closest friends is a mom to a toddler, runs her own rescue, and has more animals at once than you could imagine, and yet none of her pets or fosters are neglected.
Those that WANT to make it work, make it work.
My DH & I dealt with being gone long hours for work and having a lab puppy, we made it work because giving him up wasn't an option. I would've rather had to deal with pee pads/him not being potty trained than the mess I dealt with because of his separation anxiety.
There are ways of doing things cheaper to save money. If you want money saving ideas, ask, but no one on this board is going to be okay with you getting rid of your dog. Any excuse you're going to try and give, most likely, one of us has been through it. Put on your big girl panties and keep the dog.
Miles (6 year old Maine C00n mix), Boots (5 year old Lab mix), Darla (4 year old GSD/Collie mix), Frankie (1.5 year old DSH mix), Peanut (15 months old - 09/11), and Bean (arriving Feb 2013).
I don't understand why you've decided now is the time for school if it means you won't be able to afford all of your bills. I would love to go back to school right now, but we can't afford our mortgage, tuition, and the pets on just my H's salary. So I'm working. And keeping my pets. I guess what we're all not understanding here is why you've made this choice. For us (and I mean the Pets board), it's never "choice A and get rid of the pets or choice B and keep the pets," it's always, "whatever it takes to keep our pets...period."
In all seriousness, I'd love it if you could post your schedule, as well as your H's, so we could help you figure out how to keep the dog. I was in school a few years back. I'd go in the morning, take classes, and have a 90-minute break, during which I'd come home and let dogs out. Then I'd go back to school and keep learning for a few more hours. There's got to be some wiggle room in there. 13 hours sounds excessive for the both of you and it seems there must be a way around it.
Also, we have a trusted neighbor come over every day at lunch to take the dogs out. It's $5 a day and so worth it. We're gone for up to 10 hours at a time.
My Lunch Blog
Please email her.
Your program will keep you away from the house for 13 hours straight? Is there an opportunity to come home for a mid-day walk on lunch or during a break?
I know you said that you don't have friends yet, but do you have neighbors you could get to know? I don't know my neighbors super well, but I do have one I trust enough to leave a house key with in case of emergency.
I know you also said that money is tight- do you have any skills that you could barter (handiwork, cooking/cleaning, crafting, etc) in exchange for paying a dog walker? Even a young adult (pre-teen/early teen) might be willing to walk the pup right after school. Send an email to the nearest middle or high school's student council or National Honor Society, as well as local boy/girl scout troops. You may even be able to find someone to do it for free to fulfill community service requirements.
My dogs are crated during the work day (8:00-5:00) and then two are still crated at night because they can't be trusted to not get into trouble. The thing is, my dog who isn't crated just sleeps on his dog bed all day while we are at work, so no matter what he'd be sleeping... doesn't make a difference if he is in the crate or not.
Good luck
I check the messages and if we do indeed decide to find another home I will definitely contact her. I promise. The program I plan to attend starts in 2 months. So yes I have time.
When my DH finds out about his job in a week or two, then I will either commit to the program or find a job. If I find a job it will most likely be part time and keeping the dog will not be an issue.
With the program I am attending they are long days with no breaks. I'm not very clear on the schedule yet, but I know I won't be able to get home. My husband works 10 hr days and it's an hr their and an hr home. He always does 8 hr days with 2 hrs overtime.
I do have time to meet my neighbors and I will be trying that. I will be trying everything. We would move closer to the school, but we just moved for the second time in 7 months in November and we would not be able to afford breaking a lease and a deposit at a new place. It would also make my DH drive longer.
Please email her, she's waiting to hear from you so she can get the ball rolling on transports etc.
I know you feel beat up, but if the reality is that your dog is alone for 12-13 hours a day, your home is not the best for him right now.
Your breeder should absolutely 100% take this puppy back. What kind of contract did you sign when you bought your pup?
I'm home all day for the time being. It's a couple months away that I'm worried about. If i use up all of my resources I promise to send her an email immediately.
I will check now. Give me one moment.
I love you. That is all.
Snow!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DIt doesn't say anything about taking the dog back. I could call of course.
DUH Katies! No one has ever gone to school and had A (singular) dog before.
But I have two. And three cats. Three of the five pets are on medication. I'm in a pretty rigorous and competitive nursing program. And DH is the only one working regularly right now, since I'm just working PRN. We totally should have dropped the pets. Dead weight, they are. When is the last time they did anything for me?
Okay, that's out of my system. I apologize, I'll feel bad about that later, but not being able to handle one dog because you're in school seems a little crazy. I'm in an accelerated nursing program and I'm not even in class or gone 13 hours a day. Sometimes 12 on clinical days, but that's not even that often--usually one day a week. On days that I just have class I'm gone anywhere from 4-8 hours. I realize that there are programs that require more time, but I really doubt you'll be gone 13 hours/day every single day.
It should be relatively easy to find some teenager or someone who will walk your dog mid-day on the cheap. As I said, I'm sure you won't have to utilize it every day. Personally, I bribe people with baked goods when I need pet help. I like baking though. Is there anything you're super good at that you could use like that?
Regardless, if you decide to get rid of the dog, please use the rescue resources given to you. And please don't get another pet until you're settled and you can commit.
Snow!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DThis is what bothers me about your post.
1) If you aren't able to commit to a dog through regular life changes you really shouldn't own one. Really. It's unfair to them to be uprooted and put in a new situation, they do bond to people, they think of you as their pack and even if you consider the other home "better" for whatever reason that's not something they can understand. We have been through A LOT with our animals. Undergrad, living cross country from one another, me in law school, multiple job changes, me being unemployed right after law school, me working nine million hours, living long distance again, the death of one of our parents, a grand total of six moves (including finding pet friendly housing for a zoo of pets) all kinds of veterinary bills. I'm currently working two jobs and literally just paid off the debt from our dog's hospitalization; I worked full time in undergrad and part time in law school partly to pay for them. They live a long time and it's just the type of thing you do because you have a responsibility to them. It's not enough to be good to them when you're around or when it's convenient for you, you really do have to take them into account when you make major life decisions. They've influenced all the major life decisions we've made since they came along (what jobs to take, where to live, etc).
2) All dogs, but especially dogs you get as puppies, need training. When we first got my dog we were frustrated with potty training, etc. but we got him into basic obedience and consulted a behaviorist and now he is a rockstar. Everyone he meets comments on how well behaved he is and it feels good. Being able to chill with him on the sofa and not worry about accidents is awesome, my day is better because he is part of it.
I do judge your decision to dump the dog because I believe that as a pet owner it is part of your responsibility to make decisions in his best interest and to adjust your lifestyle to accommodate both of you. Like any relationship, the true test of your character and your relationship is how you behave when it isn't 100% easy. This is your test and your opportunity to live up to the responsibility of owning your pet. I know you're young and kind of inexperienced, but this is your chance to be an adult when faced with adult responsibility. I hope you live up to it.
Hello, stranger! How have you been? How is that adorable kid of yours?
Also, P.S. DorkFish is right, the person she mentioned above basically does it all, AND has always been there for me when I needed help with animal/rescue stuff. It can be done.
Snow!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DETA: I agree with the others that IF you are going to leave him for 12-13 hours he should be re-homed. And I agree with Linzem that this is a life lesson, she said what I was trying to say very well.
Yes I will be gone for that long. I said I'm going to try to make it work. In the case that I can't I will use the resources I've been given here. To the poster after you.
Yes I am trying to fit my life around my dog right now. It will be a big and painful decision for my dog and myself if I find another home for him. I have not decided that yet. I AM living up to it. I got on here to ask about it didn't I? I haven't made a decision, have I? NO. I haven't. I'm taking time to think thoroughly about this.