I have now read about two Bump moms--one August 2011 and one Sept 2011--who lost their LOs to SIDS at day care in the past month. It's making me really hate myself for sending mini to daycare. We have no other realistic option, and the in home daycare where he goes seems very good and attentive (only 3 other kids there) but I can't help feeling like I'm putting him in serious danger by sending him there, regardless. He's there 3 days a week from 7:30 to 3:30 or so. I know a lot of other kids spend a LOT more time in daycare than that and do fine...but ugh. I hate my job these days, I'm totally stressed out all the time, and I'm intensely jealous of women who can SAH.
I don't really have any questions or anything. Maybe someone can tell me mini will be just fine at daycare and not to worry or something? Sigh. I can't wait for summer.
Re: @ freaked out (vent kinda)
minibini will be fine. Obviously there are no guaruntees of that for anyone, but we are all doing the best we can!
If it makes you feel better, I am SAH and even when V was minibinis age she took most of her naps in a different room from me. We co-slept sometimes, but mostly she liked having a dark, quiet place to herself. I would cook or clean or going online in another room. Obviously most times I checked on her (as your daycare providers do) occasionally, but sometimes I didn't because she is a light sleeper and disrupting her nap would give me a crabby baby.
SIDS is super, super, super SCARY, to all moms, and I can only imagine how hard it feels to hear those stories and feel like you wish you were in control of all the things happening with minibini during the day. But overall, I would doubt kids at a quality daycare are at any higher risk of SIDS than those at home with their mom/siblings.
Hugs!
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I can only repeat what Enid said. SIDS can happen when your child is at home just the same as at daycare. For the first few months she always slept in my arms during the day because I couldn't put her down for naps, but then I finally did start putting her in her crib, and while I'd like to pretend I was much more vigilant than a daycare would be, it's not true. I'm so happy to have some time to myself when she's sleeping that I go into turbo mode of working, getting housework done, cooking, etc, and sometimes an hour will go by and I haven't checked on her.
MiniBini will be just fine at daycare. The stories freaked me out, too (I hadn't heard about the latest one, just about baby Zachary I think was his name in January), but you have to remember that while SIDS can happen, it is incredibly rare, and he's out of the highest danger zones now. Danger peaks at 3 months of age and there are the most incidents in January, likely because parents pack their kids in blankets because of the cold weather, so he's past both of those now.
I know it's hard, but try not to dwell on the babies who died if it's causing you anxiety. You are working to feed and house your family, not because you want to get away from Minbini during the day, so don't feel guilty because you have to work.
I have to agree with these two girls. I'm a SAHM and E naps out of my sight on a daily basis, I don't think she's any less at risk here than at daycare.
You could always see if they'd let you use a soza (or what ever it's called) to give you a piece of mind.
So I'm not a mom but I agree by definition it's SUDDEN infant death. Not daycare put a pillow over the baby's mouth death or shaken baby, sudden. As long as they are putting the baby on their back, there is air flow etc it's a horrible, tragic story.
Now if the daycare left the kid alone in a pool and they drowned I would have a different opinion of THAT daycare.
I imagine it's very difficult for you, MrsBini you want to stay home with your baby but you can't. It sucks, but please don't feel bad about things you can't control.
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that's really scary
but as long as you have a daycare you trust - i.e. that uses SIDs approved sleepware and on their back and checks on them regularly (mine checks every 15 minutes and has a sign off chart you can see to prove that) like the others say, there's really no more risk than having them nap in another room at homr
I do know its hard though - I hate not knowing what G is doing all day long at daycare - I see pics and hear a bit of what she has done, but its a long day, and sometimes when I come to pick her up and she's sitting in the corner by herself sucking her thumb I just want to cry
Not a mom but I agree with Nat. It's nothing you can stop, only try to prevent. I'm sure your daycare is great and that you dress mini appropriately. He will be fine.
Also you're doing what you need for your child. Not to freak you out but things happen anywhere, day care likely won't be the source of badness in the world that can hurt your child.
He will be fine M. The fact that you're so upset over this means you're an amazing mom who'd move mountains if she could to protect her son. BUG HUGS