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How to pick a second cat
Hi all - we have a four year-old male neutered tabby cat (see avatar pic). Current Cat is very friendly and playful, he's sociable with small groups of guests, he follows us around like a dog, he's never had litterbox issues, he's always purring and he sleeps on our bed at night. Aside from the occasional couch scratching, we don't have any problems with him. He's pretty easy-going and adapts well to changes. I didn't pick Current Cat from a shelter ... a friend found him as a stray kitten and I took him in.
We're thinking of getting another cat. We visited the local shelter before Christmas and spent over an hour there interacting with lots of cats. The volunteer was incredibly helpful at telling us about the cats' personalities and suggesting specific cats we should meet. There were a few we liked, but we weren't 100% on any of them so we left with nobody. We're ready to go back soon and try again.
We lived in the same building as my FIL for a while, who has a ~15 year-old female cat. We tried to introduce the cats on a few occasions ... our male seemed interested in making friends with her but the female wasn't having it (she's never liked other cats so we knew that was coming). So we're pretty confident that Current Cat could accept a second cat in our house. We have spare rooms that can be utilized for introducing them/separating them in the first few weeks.
We're very concerned about picking the right animal because it's a forever home ... we don't want to stress out Current Cat and we don't want to bring a new cat into an uncomfortable situation. How does fostering work ... can we ask to foster a cat as a trial period and then we adopt him if we like him, or if he doesn't work out with Current Cat we'll keep him until another person adopts him? I read the tip about pairing an older cat with a kitten ...ideally I'd like to try one at least a year old or more (do shelter kittens might have a better chance of finding a home than the adults do?).
I already read your FAQs about getting a new cat. And I read the tip about dominant vs. submissive cats ... how do you classify them as such? Current Cat isn't shy and he's got a happy little personality, he's not aggressive or territorial and he comes when we call him - so is he dominant or submissive?
I'm just very afraid of things not working out, because we would absolutely hate to want to return a new cat, but at the same time we owe it to Current Cat to keep him comfortable, know what I mean? I'm pretty positive he'd be OK with a new cat, but at the same time I know we have a good thing going with him and I'm a little hesitant to tempt fate. I'm just curious to hear about your own experiences (I know there's no one-size-fits-all answer). Thanks for any input.
Re: How to pick a second cat
I would talk to the shelter and see what kind of fostering situations they offer. A lot of places don't do "foster to adopt" but will let you adopt your foster. Or a private rescue might do the same. Cats can take awhile to adjust to new situations so it can be hard to tell if they like each other right off the bat. Give it some time and they will grow to be friends.
I would definitely go with a cat that is living in some kind of group housing at the shelter. If you do the proper introduction basically any cats can learn to co-exist, my experience has been that they're not naturally inclined to be BFF with other cats but can definitely grow to be BFF. I'd probably get a cat around his age, maybe a little younger, who is living or has lived with other cats and has the same approximate energy level. Mine have surprised me with which fosters they love, they don't hate pretty much anyone (except each other. too bad for them).
We acquired two cats 7 years ago. They bonded instantly and were BFF from day one. When we started fostering another cat 7 months later, there was some discontent, but everyone settled down within a few weeks. A few months after that, we started fostering another cat. She took longer to settle in (she hated our boys so much), but within 4 months, things were just fine.
We've fostered lots of cats since then, and have never once had an issue with any of them. Cats aren't like dogs, and very few of them will be delighted to have a strange cat in their house initially. But given the appropriate time to settle in, I'm convinced that almost any two cats can live harmoniously. We ended up keeping our second foster, and she and our boys are BFF now; they snuggle together and groom each other...they are really in love.
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In regards to "finding the right cat" and your trip to the shelter and not being 100% - in my experience, you kinda just "know" when you've found the right cat!
H and I went to two separate shelters on more than one occasion. We always look for certain "criteria" so to speak (ie: tolerates dogs, playful etc) and when we found Rosco Cat I knew he was my cat.
By spending time with the kitties at the shelter, I'm sure you'll find the right one. It sounds like Current Cat is pretty easy going and as long as you adopt a cat who gets along well with other cats and you introduce them 'properly' you'll be fine. Sometimes it takes longer to introduce cats than you would want, but if your patient you'll be fine!
I would definitely go with a cat that is living in some kind of group housing at the shelter.
The shelter has several cats who stay in a large cage together, although these are mostly small kittens. They have a bunch of floor cats who are let out of their cages to walk around all day ... the majority of the cats we interacted with on our last visit were floor cats. Halfway into the visit we just sat on the floor and let them come to us, to see if someone would "choose" us. We had a few finalists in mind and ruled a few of them out based on how they interacted with the other floor cats (example, some of them seemed like instigators).
I know they don't need to be BFFs, I just want to be sure that they can co-exist without ripping each other's faces off. I know you're right when you say that most cats can adapt and will learn to live with each other ... I think MH and I are just picturing the absolute worst, where a new cat and Current Cat would absolutely hate each other and then we'd be dealing with a difficult situation. I know that realistically this probably won't happen, but still.
Thanks for your advice so far, and I'll gladly accept anything else you want to add. If you have tips on how you knew it was "the one" at a shelter I'd be happy to read those as well (like I said, Current Cat came to me as a stray so I've never picked out an animal at a shelter before).
I would talk to the shelter and see what kind of fostering situations they offer. A lot of places don't do "foster to adopt" but will let you adopt your foster.
This is a good idea, too. I'm on the FB page for that particular shelter and they have a "Happy Tails" photo album of adoptees and their new families. Some captions say that the animal was a Failed Foster (their foster families officially adopted them), sometimes in under a week of first fostering them.
We were in your exact situation a couple of years ago. We had an easy going cat and wanted a second cat. We went to the shelter and fortunately our shelter actually had a space at the mall where they recreated a living room and had 10-15 cats in there at any given time. We knew we'd find our new cat there because those cats obviously got along well with others. I encourage you to look beyond the ones that come to you - that situation can make a lot of cats shy who normally wouldn't be. Our incredibly social cat was the one who was hiding behind a table (snuggling with another random cat) at the time. We coaxed him out and put him between us on the couch and it was love!
I HIGHLY recommend the book Cat vs Cat. When we got kitty #2 we followed that book and had a pretty good experience. They were by no means BFF right away (and still aren't) but they learned to co-exist.
I actually think looking for a foster to adopt situation might be perfect for you. Hopefully the shelter or an area rescue would be down with that. I know the feeling of not wanting to jump into something you know you won't let your self get out of (rehome) if it doesn't work out. Fostering might really work for you.
- Martin Luther King Jr.
We actually just did this a few hours ago. We have the same type of cat as you do. easy going, kind of shy, playful and we were so scared of picking the wrong one that might upset our current one.
Well we have made 3 visits to the shelter and we were so cautious in our choosings that the two we wanted got adopted..oops. So we picked one out today that was loving the attention we gave it (like ours does at home), same age, were told it was a playful cat (which ours is), and it even followed us throughout the shelter as we looked at other cats. So we went ahead and took it home. Although I have read to keep the cat completely seperate the first week in some articles, the lady at the shelter said not to. So we didn't. We brought her home a few hours ago and just had them meet face to face right away. (they are both 8-9 months old, one male, one female) Our current one has not been around another animal of any kind since it was 3 months and the new one has been surrounded by 30+ for the past 5 months.
And gee golly, they didn't hiss, fight, or make one sound. They just looked at each other, and ours (we were so proud
) walked up sniffed her and walked away like it didn't do anything territorial at all and the new one ran for cover (haha). And hasn't been out from under the bed since (which is expected). Our current cat has been stalking the bed waiting for her to come out, almost as is he wants to play. Our cat will go check on the new one from time to time, but again no hissing or anything. So I am hoping this means that they will live in harmony? We are just cautious because our cat sleeps with us in our room changin locations throughout the night. So should we keep this other cat in our room with us tonight too is our question??? Good luck picking a cat!!!