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s/o doxie post
I'm curious about this given some of the responses to the daschund post below. Do you feel it is better to try and force someone into the role of a responsible pet owner when the person clearly indicates no inclination of the sort and keep a pet versus going with a rehoming of a pet and simply asking the person to refrain from further pet ownership until the person can be a responsible and committed pet owner? In these kind of cases, whatever judgment I may have about the owner in question, it seems to be better to encourage the finding a new home for the pet rather than let the pet continue to suffer the inattention and lack of effort from the owner because I just don't see the odds of a person changing so dramatically being that high. I also think there should be encouragement for such a person to refrain from pet ownership until willing to work through ALL issues if possible.
Thoughts?
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Re: s/o doxie post
OK, I'm going here. And I love everyone on this board, and respect all of your perspectives and opinions on this topic (as well as others).
There are ladies on this board who are very passionate about pets and being pet owners. That's great, and I'm glad they offer their perspective and speak on behalf of animals who obviously can't. And over the years they have influenced me personally as far as my own responsibility when choosing to become a pet owner (our adoption of our cat last year) or finding myself to be an owner (via marriage to DH and his dog).
However (deep breath)... I still hold with the mentality that, in the end, people trump pets. Thus I do not judge quickly (not saying I don't ever judge) when a family or person comes to their own decision that they need to find their animal a new home. Again, thanks to the insights of the pet advocates here, I hope they have exhausted many resources and ideas before arriving to that conclusion, and that they truly research where the pet will go so the animal ends up in an as-good if not better situation.
That might stir some ire among the pet advocates, and so be it. As I said, I feel more educated and insightful about it all now than I did when I started on this board.
Anyway, I say they can feel free to advocate for a pet to anyone who posts freely about it on this board: welcome to the internet. They are also free to judge anyone, including me, about opinions or plans posted. So be it. That's how I feel about it.
I agree with DP and as I said in the other post I usually don't touch those posts. I do think there are times when finding the pet another loving home is the best for the animal and the people. What got me about her was that she blames it on time and money but is talking about saving money to TTC and keeps going on about not having time for the dog. I don't think she is interested in finding another solution which is what really makes me think the dog deserves a better owner.
Wrangling babies since 2010
Mama's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird
I keep coming into this wishing someone more articulate than myself would post. I agree that there are circumstances where pets should be rehomed, but I don't think this is one of them. She says she loves this dog and it would break her heart to get rid of it so why shouldn't she exhaust all options before giving it away? All I see in those threads is a bunch of excuses. She can fix the potty training issues and she can work out a schedule or get a part time job so she can afford a pet sitter or daycare so the dog isn't crated all day. The ASPCA says that 5 in10 dogs and 7-10 cats are put to sleep in shelters. A shelter isn't the right answer here. Even if the dog ends up in a shelter and lives, it's just taken the place of a dog truly in need. She may be able to find a good family for this dog, but she may not. This could literally be a life and death situation for this dog and she can make it right. She made a mistake getting the dog now it's time for some personal accountability and stepping up to be a responsible adult. You can't just give away your problems.
I think this is my issue. I really think if she wants to keep the dog (she says she does) she can reasonably do so. Are there circumstances where rehoming a dog is the best option for all involved? Sure. I truly don't believe this is one of them.
Bazinga!
Liz's Yarn
I don't disagree with this at all. I just hear "blah blah blah want to give up my dog". I didn't hear any other heartfelt attempts to cure a curable problem from the current owner. Sad? Certainly. Deserving judgement and censure? Probably. Useful to the animal in this scenario? Not really other than the advice not to get another pet. In that state, the sooner the animal is parted from her and given a chance at a new home, the better. I don't think that pointing out her flaws as a pet owner or the ultimate goal of being a responsible pet owner was going to do any good. Spitting in the wind really for this dog. I just hope she will think twice before she ever thinks of getting another pet -- even a fish.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
My opinion depends on the age of the dog and behavior or health issues in question.
For a young puppy, I'd actually suggest that giving up the dog younger is probably better because the dog has a better chance of being adopted by someone who would be a better owner hopefully before they develop behavior issues. Then the pet relinquisher should never get another dog again.
For a middle aged or senior pet, or a dog of any pit-bull related breed or mix, or especially for pets with health problems or real behavioral issues I think it is better to educate the pet relinquisher about the extremely bleak reality their pet is facing if they put it in a shelter. There just are not very many loving homes waiting to take on an older pet that has problems, and many of those dogs will die in shelters (even sometimes no-kill shelters). If they still want to give up the pet, then they should give it up, but I always hope they will really think harder about the decision process and make sure it really is their only option.
If dogs have serious behavior problems, sometimes the kindest thing an owner can do is to euthanize the dog (and not try to dump it on a rescue or shelter), but I hope people will work hard on training with a behaviorist and vet prior to making that choice.
I think sometimes re-homing is the best alternative.
I should have posted my response here, but I put it in SunnyTrees Can of Worms post.
It's very rather long & I don't want to repeat it, but I don't things are always black & white.
I take having a pet very seriously, but if I had to choose between my child & my dog, sorry, but I choose child. Every time.
I believe people shouldn't arbitrarily enter into pet ownership, and if they need to give up an animal, they shouldn't get a new one for a very long time. But sometimes, it is the best alternative for the animal too.
PHOTOS REMOVED
Exactly this!!! I have talked to her and I know she is a person that doesnt deserve to be demonized.
Thank you I really appreciate you talking to me and posting here. Saw this post and couldn't help myself in reading it. After all it is somewhat about me. lol
We are keeping the dog. We were just considering it as an option depending on what we thought was best for him. We love him and we give him a wonderful life. We aren't mean. He is loved and fed and treated and played with and exercised and happy.
Now I know why so many lurkers are out there. They are afraid to say anything. lol
The reason why I don't agree with saying it is okay to re-home in the vast majority of cases is because it's just irresponsible and creates more problems for an overburdened system. There are 4-6 MILLION companion animals euthanized every year; 70% of cats entering a shelter will die and 60% of dogs will die. There aren't enough homes- not just good homes- for the pets that are born. OP obviously got her dog from a backyard breeder or pet store. Is it crappy now? Is she unhappy now? Yes. But can it change? Hell yes, but if she just gives up it can't get better. We all make decisions and commitments that we have to live because there are no easy outs. The false belief that there are plenty of space in rescues/shelters to absolve a person of making a commitment really pisses me off. It's a lifelong commitment to the dog or cat which is only a few years. People can make it work if they want.
The reason I know that things can change is that my dog was a nightmare for the first few years I had him. A nightmare and I regretted my decision. Yes, this is me saying this. But, you know what? I honored my commitment and things got a shitton better. He is now an amazing dog.
And DP- I honestly don't get where "people trump pets" has anything to do with rehoming a pet, especially in this situation? Does it stir my ire? I guess so if it means that people get to be irresponsible and hurt dependent creatures. The thing with rehoming is that you have no idea if the pet will end up in a good/better situation. It's very possible that it will end up in a worse situation or dead. I'm the poster child for life not going how I planned but none of what happened has changed my mind about a commitment I make be it to my friends, family, business or pets.
If I remember correctly you said that you wanted to find him a new home and that you didn't want to take him to a shelter because it would break your heart. That is what really got my ire up. I get that *** happens, but your dog is young and you haven't done the work to warrant a rehoming. A shelter is never the best option for a pet that is not being abused or is lost. It's a f'ing scary place.
P pretty much said anything I could say on the subject.
There are obviously exceptions. Not many, but there are exceptions.
The OP made it clear on the Pets board that she didn't want to put any effort into fixing the situation. The dog did nothing wrong except to be a dog. And even when more level headed people gave her suggestions, she chose to ignore them or make excuses why they didn't work.
Honestly? I just don't have tolerance for people who think pets are disposable when they become an inconvenience. And as for what I say, some things I just can't sugar coat. If it makes me unlikable, so be it. I'd rather be myself than fake.
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