How would you handle this?

Jerseyjessie

Bella came home from school today and sad that her private area hurt. She took her pants off and showed me how it was red.

She said Emma touched her there and  sad how..she just put her hand over her vagina. She said it was in class and not in the bathroom. 

Now not really sure if she really touched her but then why would she say that? 

Also Bella did sleep in undies last night and had an accident and also had an accident today at school and wet herself, so i am not sure if she is red from that. 

Do I ask her teacher if she saw Emma touch her?  I really dont know where to begin?

AmyRob04

Who is Emma? A teacher or a kid? My response is different depending...

Laurms15

Presuming Emma is a friend in class....

Is is possible she had a little infection/cut or other reason she is red/sore and told Emma that it hurt and that prompted Emma to touch it?

I would have it looked at given that she has had two accidents and its red.

Jerseyjessie

AmyRob04:

Who is Emma? A teacher or a kid? My response is different depending...

a classmate

lovinthefall08

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

Jerseyjessie

Laurms15:

Presuming Emma is a friend in class....

Is is possible she had a little infection/cut or other reason she is red/sore and told Emma that it hurt and that made Emma touch it?

I would have it looked at given that she has had two accidents and its red.

II am trying to find out. It is so hard to NOT jump to conclusions...

Jerseyjessie

lovinthefall08:

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

you are correct. We do talk about no one touching you there..it scares the crap out of me if and why that other girl would touch her.

AmyRob04

lovinthefall08:

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

I agree 100% - it sounds innocent but it is a prime time to reinforce to both girls that it is NEVER okay. I'd tell the teacher that this is what B said and find out how stuff like that is taught in school. Because, it should be discussed. I'd also call the ped, a red and a hey vagina should be looked at.

sapphireprinces

Laurms15:

Presuming Emma is a friend in class....

Is is possible she had a little infection/cut or other reason she is red/sore and told Emma that it hurt and that prompted Emma to touch it?

I would have it looked at given that she has had two accidents and its red.

This was exactly what I was going to say. I would also talk to DD and tell her no one should ever touch her there and follow up with the school

ladyredlight

sapphireprinces:

Laurms15:

Presuming Emma is a friend in class....

Is is possible she had a little infection/cut or other reason she is red/sore and told Emma that it hurt and that prompted Emma to touch it?

I would have it looked at given that she has had two accidents and its red.

This was exactly what I was going to say. I would also talk to DD and tell her no one should ever touch her there and follow up with the school

This this and more this.  Why was this not noticed by a teacher?

ceetee

Jerseyjessie:

lovinthefall08:

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

you are correct. We do talk about no one touching you there..it scares the crap out of me if and why that other girl would touch her.

well, I am assuming this girl is the same age right? so I would start from a place of innocence...they don't really know boundaries yet and there is no sexuality to it. I would ask the teacher if she saw anything and then just reinforce with your daughter the boundaries of her body. its natural for children to be curious and open.. that's about as much as i would address it with her.

 I  would put money on the fact that the redness/irritation isn't from contact at school.  that would have to be a lot of rough contact and there is no way that a teacher couldn't see that.

Jerseyjessie

ladyredlight:

sapphireprinces:

Laurms15:

Presuming Emma is a friend in class....

Is is possible she had a little infection/cut or other reason she is red/sore and told Emma that it hurt and that prompted Emma to touch it?

I would have it looked at given that she has had two accidents and its red.

This was exactly what I was going to say. I would also talk to DD and tell her no one should ever touch her there and follow up with the school

This this and more this.  Why was this not noticed by a teacher?

well  I am still trying to find out. There is 1 main teacher and 2 aids.  I have no clue as to how the touch was done or even how quick it was. Case in point..Bella said Daddy hit me when i was just a witness to her not being hit.

I will talk to her teacher tomorrow am and see if she saw anything and to ask if the teachers discuss anything in school.

At 4 the kids are really innocent and exploring as i see with Bella and Sal in the tub or when we change and they notice our private area's. 

kellyann1972

ceetee:

Jerseyjessie:

lovinthefall08:

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

you are correct. We do talk about no one touching you there..it scares the crap out of me if and why that other girl would touch her.

well, I am assuming this girl is the same age right? so I would start from a place of innocence...they don't really know boundaries yet and there is no sexuality to it. I would ask the teacher if she saw anything and then just reinforce with your daughter the boundaries of her body. its natural for children to be curious and open.. that's about as much as i would address it with her.

 I  would put money on the fact that the redness/irritation isn't from contact at school.  that would have to be a lot of rough contact and there is no way that a teacher couldn't see that. 

ditto all of this. She (Emma) may have had a passing touch but my guess is the irritation is due to the wetting herself. Its fine to have the conversation, its an important one but I don't think anything big happened. Sounds like a non dryness, rubbing against cloth etc. Best of luck 

mrs.marie.g

kellyann1972:

ceetee:

Jerseyjessie:

lovinthefall08:

Needs to be addressed.  A child her age wouldn't say she was touched by someone else if she wasn't.  Sadly (because I don't think kids should need to worry about this stuff), it is an opportunity for your daughter to learn that NO ONE should ever touch her there, secondly for the other child to learn that it isn't appropriate.  

you are correct. We do talk about no one touching you there..it scares the crap out of me if and why that other girl would touch her.

well, I am assuming this girl is the same age right? so I would start from a place of innocence...they don't really know boundaries yet and there is no sexuality to it. I would ask the teacher if she saw anything and then just reinforce with your daughter the boundaries of her body. its natural for children to be curious and open.. that's about as much as i would address it with her.

 I  would put money on the fact that the redness/irritation isn't from contact at school.  that would have to be a lot of rough contact and there is no way that a teacher couldn't see that. 

ditto all of this. She (Emma) may have had a passing touch but my guess is the irritation is due to the wetting herself. Its fine to have the conversation, its an important one but I don't think anything big happened. Sounds like a non dryness, rubbing against cloth etc. Best of luck 

Belle had an iccident at school and i was trying to determine fact from fiction. i asked her about it 99 differnent ways to see if her story changed. and it stayed constant. ask her different ways and see what she says. then i say address it with the teacher. its proablly VERY  inincent but still might need to be addressed

melbride2005

ceetee:

well, I am assuming this girl is the same age right? so I would start from a place of innocence...they don't really know boundaries yet and there is no sexuality to it. I would ask the teacher if she saw anything and then just reinforce with your daughter the boundaries of her body. its natural for children to be curious and open.. that's about as much as i would address it with her.

 I  would put money on the fact that the redness/irritation isn't from contact at school.  that would have to be a lot of rough contact and there is no way that a teacher couldn't see that.

I agree 100% with all of this.