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Unsure...(LONG)
I have no idea whether or not I should post this to complete strangers, but I have few others to talk to. Short background - my husband and I are both 27. We started online dating 2 weeks before my 16th birthday. He lived in New York and I lived in Nebraska. We met in person about a year and a half later. He then moved in with my family and me soon after our 18th birthdays. We were engaged at 22 and married at 24. We've obviously had some rough times where we thought things weren't going to work but somehow they did and we have been pretty happy most of the time. There were periods of his unemployment, me being a full-time student and working multiple jobs, etc.
We have always had communication issues and throughout last year, we were trying to work on them. I had already started to feel myself pulling away from him because it began to feel like we were roommates instead of a married couple. I was constantly taking care of all bills, household responsibilities, etc. Any time I would ask for help it would be ok for a couple weeks or maybe a month, and then back to the same routine. We had a discussion about it many times. This last summer I told him I had grown curious about other people - as in what other people wer elike in a relationship. I was trying to be as honest as I could. He understood where I was coming from and we talked it out. I couldn't stop really thinking about it and it became too much. Also in this time I had realized that I was beginning to change. I was no longer as interested in staying home. I had always felt like I was waiting around for him, not living my own life, following him on his outings or to do things that he enjoyed (though I enjoyed some of them as well). I was feeling like I had no life of my own. I don't know why it suddenly dawned on me or became a problem, but it did.
In October we agreed that I would move out and we would separate for a period of time because I felt like I couldn't be me. He was already beginning to judge me for changing my opinions on things and not being the same woman he knew before. I also told him I still had the "curiosity" thoughts and was working on figuring out what the hell I really wanted.
There is much more to the story, I would say, for it to make sense, but it would take way too long to read. This is long enough. The short of it is, how the heck do you know if divorce is the right option? I'm so torn. We are at that point of discussion right now and technically it is what we've decided on. This is because any time we have discussed me coming home, I have this horrible feeling of fear or disappointment in my stomach. I am no longer nearly as attracted to him as I had been. I love this man with all my heart. We've had ups and downs but he's always been there for me. We've grown up together which is great...but I also think it's part of our problem. We didn't have time to mature on our own, make as many individual decisions, take chances that we would have if we were single, etc. Making it even harder is that he's fully supportive of the decision of divorce because he realizes that I'm not happy. He realizes things have changed, too. If I could talk myself into being happy with him I would be beyond ecstatic and could just live happily ever after. On the other hand, I know he's incredibly heart broken and just at a loss as to how this has happened.
This may not make sense and may seem like rambling - very likely. I apologize for just throwing it out there, but just needed to get something out.
Feel free to ask any questions for clarification. Any advice, suggestions, words of wisdom would be great. I'd like to say take it easy on me, but I've also lurked on a few boards for a year or so...at least take it into consideration 
Thanks for reading this freakin' book.
Re: Unsure...(LONG)
My therapist told me that the majority of people who separate never get back together. Basically a stop on the way to divorce town. You should want to be with your husband not dread the thought of going home to him.
And I tell everyone that once you decide it's over you need to take EVERYTHING you want immediately because once you move out or state you want a divorce he will turn on you and try to keep you from the 50% that is yours. I've seen it happen over and over again.
Well good luck. If you feel like you still have any love for him than maybe you should try counseling to make sure you gave it your best shot.
It sounds like you simply grew up and while you grew up "together" you grew apart. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean they are right for you. I think you need to be alone, figure out who you are as an individual, probably date and figure out what you REALLY want rather than what you just have had for so long and are comfortable with.
I understand it is hard, but it gets easier. Have you been to counseling? It may just be good for you to talk this over with a neutral third party to help you understand what you really want. Or maybe just sit down and write out all the reasons you want to stay v. leave and sort out how you feel.
When I couldn't decide what I wanted as a kid my mom would always choose for me, and then ask if I was disappointed, if so, the other option was what I really wanted. I think you are disappointed with the prospect of going home because it is not what you really want, just what you think you should want.
I really do appreciate your responses to my very long-winded post. The most difficult part is just coming to terms with the idea that as much as I love him, I'm not sure how much in love with him I am anymore. I do agree that if we had gone through the whole dating and courting-type process that most people do, we probably would not have stayed together for as long as we have. We've been security blankets for each other. It's going to be a difficult process.
If he were a jerk, it would make this 100 times easier...though I would have been mad I married a jerk.
Thank you for the feedback and suggestions. I have considered counseling on my own. I had also considered marriage counseling, but honestly, I really don't think that would prove successful in saving our marriage. I know what is best and what my head wants, my heart just hurts for it.
Don't listen to this. It's not always the case. Sometimes, but not always. My ex and I had exactly one argument throughout our separation, and we each happily walked away with exactly what was ours. No bickering, nothing underhanded.
I get the growing apart thing. That's what happened with me, though it sounds like my circumstance is pretty different from yours. I understand that you'll miss his companionship and friendship. You've been through a lot together, but if you're not happy, you're not happy. Think about whether this is something you want to try to fix. Think about whether or not it's actually fixable. Try to be as kind as possible through every single step. It will hurt, of course, but act admirably, and perhaps you can end up with some sort of friendship in tact.
I wish you the best.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.