Ranger

TeacherTiff

For the love of God, please tell me it gets easier.

Nolan is jealous. He pretty much hates me. He's acting out, whining non-stop, etc. 

The babies are fine but it's stressful because they were early so we have to be really adament about every 3 hour feedings to keep their weight up. This isn't always a problem but sometimes they won't wake up and then I get stressed. And you know how I feel about nursing but I'm already considering throwing in the towel because by the time I nurse Addy (who has always been EBF) then try to nurse Laney (who is getting the hang of it but sometimes won't nurse very long), then finish Laney's feed with a bottle, then pump... it's been over an hour and it's time to do it all over again before I blink. 

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 

Rangergal9

((hugs)) I don't know if it gets easier because honestly, the challenges just change, but once you get into a routine it seems easier :-)

Even though my girls weren't born early we still had to feed them every 3 hours until they got back up over their birth weight.  We FF from the beginning because I didn't want to spend every moment feeding a baby.  I was a much happier person from the start since others were able to help with the feedings.  DH and I would each get a baby for every night feeding.  So it would only take 30 minutes.  

In the early days during the day by myself, I'd feed one, then the other... then have about an hour off before I had to start the process all over again : - /  But once they were a month old I started putting them in the bouncy seats and feeding them at the same time.  OMG that was soooo much quicker!!

Abby didn't act out too much in the beginning but then again we kept her in daycare full time so she stayed with her normal routine.  Plus my MIL would take her for some alone time on the weekends.  Maybe have your DH take him for some alone time and you stay with the babies???  We really tried to focus on Abby in the early days and have her help (carry the bottle, get a diaper, etc).

For me, the lack of sleep was the worst!!!  How is Nolan sleeping??  I hope he is sleeping better!  My advice is to get the girls in a good night time routine!  Start early so hopefully they will STTN sooner than Nolan.  Ours were STTN at 4 months.  I know not every baby will STTN, but establishing a routine couldn't hurt.  Around 8pm we would give them a bottle, swaddle them, put on white noise and put them in the RnPs.  We only swaddled at night.  During the day they napped in the swings downstairs.  We decided not to swaddle during the day to maybe show them the difference between night and day sleep.  Plus I always kept it bright during the day. Like I said, I just hope you can get them to sleep well!!!  

How are you recovering from the c-section??  Feel free to vent to me anytime!!!  Having twins and a toddler is very hard!! Most days are a struggle, and I was getting to a point where I felt constantly angry, overwhelmed so I did seek some help from my doctor.  Always ask for help and take it when its offered....lol

ColleenS629

::butting in::

I obviously can't speak to the toddler issue but I had similar feeding issues in the beginning. Both boys had different problems with BFing in the hospital. Ryan would latch but not suck and Andrew was really difficult to latch but would suck if I could get him on. When we left the hospital, Ryan was BFing for almost every feeding and Andrew was BFing for 1-2 feedings a day (usually the feedings that Ryan refused, of course) and getting pumped BM for the rest of his feedings. For every feeding, I would BF Ryan, try to BF Andrew, bottle feed Andrew, and pump. It was taking like an hour and a half for each feeding. We did this for 2 weeks and it was a nightmare. At that point, the stupid NP at the pedi's office told me I needed to start offering Ryan a bottle because he was gaining the minimum recommended weight. I lost it when she said that... how was I going to find time to BF R, try to BF A, bottle feed A, offer a bottle to R, and pump when I was home by myself and through the night... and more so WHY was I going to do that when his weight gain was still acceptable? I couldn't handle that and FFIng wasn't an option in my mind so I got a recommendation for an LC and she helped me so much more than the LCs at the hospital. She was able to help me get both babies BFing for all their feedings and be more efficient at BFing. She also helped me learn to tandem feed them on my own. I haven't used a bottle since. I did have to use nipple shields at first, to get Andrew to latch and to get Ryan to be more efficient at feeding, but ever since, they have gained more than the recommended amount... about 3 pounds a month. Tandem feeding them really helped save my sanity. I got so much time back going from the previous schedule to only BFing and doing it at the same time (even when I didn't tandem, it was still so much easier). 

Anyway, if FF will be better for you, then definitely do what is right for you. I just wanted to let you know that I went through the same thing (albeit without a toddler) and we made it through.

TeacherTiff

Thank you! I only have a second so I'll be back later to respond more.

Colleen, I didn't forget about you I think a LOT of my frustration is with Nolan because he's with my mom today and I feel so much better. I know that's terrible to say and I know he'll get used to it (eventually) but man, yesterday was rough. I had completely forgotten about the nipple shield. They gave me one to try with D in the Nicu and we tried once and forgot about it. I'll try that this time  

Thanks again ladies... I knew it wouldn't be easy but I wasn't expecting yesterday to be SO hard. DH is home with me today and I'm minus one kid and the sun is shining so things are looking up, LOL. 

TeacherTiff

Okay so the nipple shield was a fail. I don't think I really know how it's supposed to work. It's like my nipple doesn't go far enough down? So, when she tries to latch she gets half rubber and half nipple and holy hell that hurts. I expressed some milk and that helped her try to latch on at least but I couldn't get her on there right so we gave up. Blah!

Rangergal9

Do you have a local Moms of Multiples group?? I joined one and met some wonderful ladies who had a toddler + twins.... we always joke that having just twins would be so much easier!!!  Not that twins are easy, but the toddler really changes things! Its just nice to have friends in the same situation.  

I know how important BFing is to you... so hopefully you can make it work, but if you are still really struggling I can assure you they'd still turn out fine on formula :-)