Would you let YH go on vacation with your kid without you?

erosa

Ok, maybe that's not the right wording....obviously, not would you let, but how would you feel?   Mh, his brothers, nephew & parents are going to PR.  Mh is taking our son and he didn't even run it by me.  It was supposed to be a men getaway, no wives, but of course they need their mom.  My son has never been away from me & I'm a little upset, not that I wasn't asked, but mh didn't even discuss it with me, it was just a "by the way" type of thing.   It's not a financial thing, it's the fact that he made this decision to take the baby without talking to me first.

jennmichael

if he made the decision without me, yes i would be super mad.  If it was something we discussed  , i would totally be all for it.

 

 

ceetee

i would let him take them on vacation.

I would NOT be happy AT ALL if he hadn't run it by me before it was a forgone conclusion.  

kandygrl23

I don't think it's right that he didn't run it by you first. That would annoy the heck out of me. I also think it's weird that the mom is going. 

As far as if I would let him, I would consider it. If it would mean that we couldn't go away as a family for that year because of finances, then I might have issue with it. If not and it seemed like it would be a fun trip for my child, then I would probably be OK with it.

debfife

Of course he could take her with out me. 

However I'd be livid if it was not discussed with me first and I was told after the fact 

Kari78

I would have a huge issue if my husband made those kinds of plans without discussing it with me first, with or without my child.

turtle520

kandygrl23:

I don't think it's right that he didn't run it by you first. That would annoy the heck out of me. I also think it's weird that the mom is going. 

As far as if I would let him, I would consider it. If it would mean that we couldn't go away as a family for that year because of finances, then I might have issue with it. If not and it seemed like it would be a fun trip for my child, then I would probably be OK with it.

What she said.

JessicaLovesBrian

Agreed, would be pissed without it being discussed, but would be all for it otherwise.  I'd probably be a bit jealous though because I love to travel, so there'd have to be room in the budget for me to do an all-girls vacay with my daughter as well.

 But if it's all guys, why the heck is mom going? That's kind not fair!

TSD

jennmichael:

if he made the decision without me, yes i would be super mad.  If it was something we discussed  , i would totally be all for it.

 

 

this. There's no way he'd just decide to get on a plane with him though without talking to me first. Not to mention I highly doubt he'd want to do that without me. I mean, to me that sounds crazy to plan that without asking if you're cool with it.

erosa

Ok, he did mention t me that his brothers were planning this trip and he thought about going.... That's it.  We didnt talk about my son going.  My real issue is that I just don't like where they are going and where they are staying (this is why they're not taking wives, because none of us are really down with this type of "vacation").  They're going to the mountains & staying there, it's very country.  There are tons of Mosquitos & they like to go to the river.  I don't know why their mom is going, maybe my FIL wouldn't know what to do without her.  I don't like that my son is going there.  

UsedToBeGoldie

my husband would never plan a trip like that without talking to me about it first. 

that's f'd up.

TSD

erosa:

Ok, he did mention t me that his brothers were planning this trip and he thought about going.... That's it.  We didnt talk about my son going.  My real issue is that I just don't like where they are going and where they are staying (this is why they're not taking wives, because none of us are really down with this type of "vacation").  They're going to the mountains & staying there, it's very country.  There are tons of Mosquitos & they like to go to the river.  I don't know why their mom is going, maybe my FIL wouldn't know what to do without her.  I don't like that my son is going there.  

Now it sounds even stranger that he'd even want to bring a small child there. I wouldn't.

laurenpetro

debfife:

Of course he could take her with out me. 

However I'd be livid if it was not discussed with me first and I was told after the fact 

ditto this.

lovinthefall08

Looks like it is just me here, but I'd be ok with it.  

erosa

TSD:

erosa:

Ok, he did mention t me that his brothers were planning this trip and he thought about going.... That's it.  We didnt talk about my son going.  My real issue is that I just don't like where they are going and where they are staying (this is why they're not taking wives, because none of us are really down with this type of "vacation").  They're going to the mountains & staying there, it's very country.  There are tons of Mosquitos & they like to go to the river.  I don't know why their mom is going, maybe my FIL wouldn't know what to do without her.  I don't like that my son is going there.  

Now it sounds even stranger that he'd even want to bring a small child there. I wouldn't.

This is what they used to do as children.  They would spend summers at their grandmothers house running barefoot in the country & swimming in the river.  This is where his parents grew up.... He tried to pull that "vacation" stunt on me once & I wasn't having it....  I'm not a country person and the one time I did visit, I hated it there.  That's why it's just a guys+mom trip because there's no way we would've agreed to do this.

kandygrl23

I don't know....I can see your concerns with this type of trip. I'm not sure why he would want to bring a young child there. If the child was older, I could see talking to him about the trip, weighing the pros/cons, and then asking him if it's a trip he would like to go on.

tara07733

Of course. And honestly he wouldn't have to ask me or confer with me. MH is very level headed and I have trust that he'd take care of him probably better than I because he's OCD with that sort of thing.

dmendel

I would be annoyed that he didn't tell me, but fine with him going.  

tara07733

He wouldn't have to 'ask' but he would tell me ahead of time. I would love it, the 2 of them would love it too. The surroundings sou d wonderful and it sounds like this is not just some place they picked willy-nilly but a place with some history for his family.

TSD

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

tara07733

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

But wouldn't you assume that her husband already knows about the challenges of the 2 year old toddler. I mean, who in their right mind would plan something like this unless they really believed they could handle it? I know I would not do it. So maybe he totally gets the fact that the kids a toddler and will need constant chaperoning. Or maybe that's the point of having his mom there--to pick up some slack.

Kari78

how old is your son

erosa

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

Exactly, if he was older, I wouldn't think twice, but yes, he's 2 1/2. He's a lot of work...  Feeding is an issue, sleeping is an issue....  I'm much more patient with him, spend a lot of time with him, put him to bed every night.  Mh gets home late most nights and we have our routine.  The only thing keeping me sane with this is that my MIL is going.  I don't know, I just feel like men are different.  He's so carefree about some things...  I picture my little boy coming back with his knees all scraped, mosquito bites everywhere and haven eaten cookies all week for dinner.

TSD

tara07733:

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

But wouldn't you assume that her husband already knows about the challenges of the 2 year old toddler. I mean, who in their right mind would plan something like this unless they really believed they could handle it? I know I would not do it. So maybe he totally gets the fact that the kids a toddler and will need constant chaperoning. Or maybe that's the point of having his mom there--to pick up some slack.

Hell no. MH is very hands on but he's certainly not around him the same amount of time I am. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night, does all the food shopping and preparing, etc. I assume I just make it look easy, as does every other mom. I'm not saying her husband couldn't handle it but I highly doubt he knows all it entails having never had to do it alone before.

erosa

TSD:

tara07733:

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

But wouldn't you assume that her husband already knows about the challenges of the 2 year old toddler. I mean, who in their right mind would plan something like this unless they really believed they could handle it? I know I would not do it. So maybe he totally gets the fact that the kids a toddler and will need constant chaperoning. Or maybe that's the point of having his mom there--to pick up some slack.

Hell no. MH is very hands on but he's certainly not around him the same amount of time I am. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night, does all the food shopping and preparing, etc. I assume I just make it look easy, as does every other mom. I'm not saying her husband couldn't handle it but I highly doubt he knows all it entails having never had to do it alone before.

I couldn't say it better myself... 

wed2506

I would never make a decision like that without discussing it with my husband first, I would expect the same courtesy from him .

tara07733

TSD:

tara07733:

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

But wouldn't you assume that her husband already knows about the challenges of the 2 year old toddler. I mean, who in their right mind would plan something like this unless they really believed they could handle it? I know I would not do it. So maybe he totally gets the fact that the kids a toddler and will need constant chaperoning. Or maybe that's the point of having his mom there--to pick up some slack.

Hell no. MH is very hands on but he's certainly not around him the same amount of time I am. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night, does all the food shopping and preparing, etc. I assume I just make it look easy, as does every other mom. I'm not saying her husband couldn't handle it but I highly doubt he knows all it entails having never had to do it alone before.

Well then I'd still let him do it if only to let him see what it's like for the mothers. And I wouldn't even do it as a point maker. I just think that they NEED to know how to handle their kids. I always think WTH if I were to die. It bothers me that a lit of men get the green light to pull the I don't know how to take care of my kid crap. I don't know. I Dee this as a father WANTING to do it and i think why not.

erosa

tara07733:

TSD:

tara07733:

TSD:

I could see if the child was like 5 or older. But he's like 2, right? I mean, that's a lot of work. E still isn't even potty trained and dinner is a fight every night.. No way MH would want to put up with any of that on a supposed "vacation". I get wanting to show him how he grew up...but not with a kid that young. More power to him I guess.

But wouldn't you assume that her husband already knows about the challenges of the 2 year old toddler. I mean, who in their right mind would plan something like this unless they really believed they could handle it? I know I would not do it. So maybe he totally gets the fact that the kids a toddler and will need constant chaperoning. Or maybe that's the point of having his mom there--to pick up some slack.

Hell no. MH is very hands on but he's certainly not around him the same amount of time I am. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night, does all the food shopping and preparing, etc. I assume I just make it look easy, as does every other mom. I'm not saying her husband couldn't handle it but I highly doubt he knows all it entails having never had to do it alone before.

Well then I'd still let him do it if only to let him see what it's like for the mothers. And I wouldn't even do it as a point maker. I just think that they NEED to know how to handle their kids. I always think WTH if I were to die. It bothers me that a lit of men get the green light to pull the I don't know how to take care of my kid crap. I don't know. I Dee this as a father WANTING to do it and i think why not.

I hope he comes back with a new found appreciation for what I do.  Not that I feel underappreciated but he really has no idea. 

bosha711

I would be pissed he made the plans without discussing with me first & I would probably veto the whole thing!

I have to laugh though b/c I can totally picture MH wanting to take DS on this same exact trip (including taking his mom), since he also has family in PR. MH would think it is probably a right of passage for DS since he went there as a kid. 

So, are you going to "let" him go?

TSD

tara07733:

TSD:

Hell no. MH is very hands on but he's certainly not around him the same amount of time I am. I'm the one who gets up in the middle of the night, does all the food shopping and preparing, etc. I assume I just make it look easy, as does every other mom. I'm not saying her husband couldn't handle it but I highly doubt he knows all it entails having never had to do it alone before.

Well then I'd still let him do it if only to let him see what it's like for the mothers. And I wouldn't even do it as a point maker. I just think that they NEED to know how to handle their kids. I always think WTH if I were to die. It bothers me that a lit of men get the green light to pull the I don't know how to take care of my kid crap. I don't know. I Dee this as a father WANTING to do it and i think why not.

MH doesn't get the green light to not know how to take care of E but I didn't work for the first 3 years. MH works outside the house. Obviously he's not going to have the same day to day knowledge or understanding of what it's like to be with a 3 yr old all day for a week without me. If I were to die, while he'd have no choice but to figure it out, and I'm sure he'd be fine, this is a choice of a vacation, not in the state or even the country. I can't lie and say I wouldn't worry. Not so much about eating cookies for a week but just being so far away, so young. My son wouldn't even understand why he couldnt see me for a week. We went out tonight and he had a babysitter he's had for 1.5 years. He still cried for mommy here and there.

But again, my issue would be with mh just deciding unilaterally that he was taking our child on a weeklong trip on a plane without even a conversation. The trip itself is another story. I would have a problem with any big decision about our child made without my knowledge or consent. I don't do that to him and I would expect he wouldn't do that to me.

erosa

bosha711:

So, are you going to "let" him go?

Ha!  good question.