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Cooking for a Picky Eater
My husband is a pretty picky eater. This makes dinner time particularly hard, since I am a really adventurous eater who will try anything at least once.
I plan our meals for the week each weekend, but lately I have gotten so bored trying to stick within his limited tastes. The only meat he will eat is chicken or ground beef. He admittedly likes some pork, but he's still hesitant to try it because he's never really had it cooked properly. He also likes a limited number of veggies, mostly potatoes, corn, green beans and broccoli. He does like pretty much any kind of fruit. We do both have an aversion to seafood, so that's something at least.
I think this is a result of his upbringing, which involved a lot of convenience foods and a not a lot of variety- the exact opposite of how I was raised with food.
I've gotten so tired of the constraints of my meal planning: chicken one night, something with ground beef the next, a meatless meal (usually pasta), and repeat. I don't want to just say, "Either eat what I make or screw you" and I don't want to "sneak" things into his food- I'd really like to see him try new things and realize he likes them. This can be an expensive chance to take though, and wasting food is not something I want to get in the habit of doing.
I've read a lot about this, and it seems it always comes down to either tricking him, or cooking two meals every night. I feel like there have to be other strategies that don't make him feel like some kind of freak for being a picky eater, but also show him how many delicious things he's missing out on; in combination with his pickiness, though, is often a hesitance to even try anything new, regardless of whether he's tried it in the past or not.
Any thoughts on how I can expand my weeknight cooking creativity while being mindful of my husband's picky habits so we can both walk away from the table satisfied?
Re: Cooking for a Picky Eater
From Hey To Horses
My DH would be considered a picky eater too. No creamy stuff , only chicken (occasionally beef), he only eats a few kinds of veggies, no whole tomatoes or mushrooms, things like that. He has tried some things since we've been married and he's found that he is liking things a bit more than he thought he would. I'm actually quite proud of him.
If your DH isn't willing to at least try things then I'm not sure there is anything you can do. Forcing him or tricking him into eating things will likely backfire. Sometimes if I want to have a veggie that I don't know if he will like, I'll have a main dish that I know he does like and then if he tries it and likes it, great. If not, the entire meal isn't a waste for him. Or, if I know he doesn't like something but it needs to be in a recipe I try to make the pieces big enough for him to pick out if he decides he doesn't like it.
Not sure if this helps but know that you aren't the only one with a picky DH.
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Would he be willing to at least try a meal made to your tastes once a week? Once a week can't be too much to ask for. You are the one doing the work to plan, procure ingredients, and actually make the food. What you would choose is probably on the "normal" scale for the average non-picky eater. He should be grateful you are working so hard to make nutritious home-cooked meals. Sounds like it's been very one-sided in you have been bending over backwards for him. Is he willing to return the gesture?
I'm in the camp that says cook what you want, within reason, and let him either try it and/or get his own food. It's not a "screw you". It's a "I worked hard putting this meal, and every other meal, on the table and a nice sign of appreciation would be to try a few bites". And it places some work back on him, both in tasting and providing his own food if he chooses not to eat yours. If he doesn't like the balsamic green beans you made, then he can heat up some frozen broccoli that he would like.
But truthfully, arrive at something you can both live with. Would this be ok behavior from your hypothetical future children? How could you expect them to try things if a parent can't lead by example? And do you really want to become a short-order cook for a houseful of picky eaters?
I'm in a similar situation. My husband grew up in a home of convenience foods and little variety, while I grew up in a home that loved food and where we rarely had processed foods, with an emphasis on whole grains, veggies, etc. The rule when I was growing up was that we had to have at least 2 bites of everything on our plates and then could choose not to eat the rest. So I've adopted that philosophy in our home. I stick to proteins I'm relatively confident my husband will like (ground beef, chicken, turkey) but make smaller portions of sides that I'm excited about. He has to have 2 bites, but if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat the rest. We've found that he likes some vegetables, sauces, flavors that he thought he would hate, and then the next time I make them, I make larger portions. That way, I'm not wasting a lot of food the first time I make something, and we find new meals or sides to put into rotation. That said, there are things I love that I know he doesn't like but I'm not going to stop making. I just make smaller portions and ask him just to have 2 bites of it. Sometimes he doesn't have the most balanced meals, but then I'm not frustrated at never being able to cook the foods I enjoy.
We don't have kids, but when we do, I hope that he'll do a better job of keeping quiet when he doesn't like something so that they won't be as picky as he is.
My husband was similar in the veggie category when we met. I tried to cook what he liked for a few months and quickly got bored.
I finally talked to him and said I was going to make things that I liked as well, and I would like him to try the way I prepared stuff... if he didn't like it I wouldn't be hurt, offended or angry. He accepted this, and honestly there has only been a few things he doesn't like.
I figure if I am doing the cooking, planning, shopping etc I am going to cook what I like and not limit myself to the same 6 things!
The big sister, and Momma 30 weeks along with baby sister
Food Blog, Family and Baby Blog
My college roommate was vegetarian and I am not, so in order to be able to share what I was cooking I learned how to split a lot of my recipes in half and make 2 versions just leaving the meat out of her part and often adding extra beans or other veggies to hers.
I think you could try this idea out with your husband. Say you want to make a dish that's loaded with lots of veggies, but he hates onion so you separate a little bit and leave the onions out. But if he wants seconds, he can try it with the onions. Having the extra veggies on the side, he can start to experiment on his own terms. Maybe when he sees the difference between what you're eating and how boring his version is he'll open up to some new things.
This is why we're friends.
I completely agree. On the one hand, I do empathize with where you're coming from, because my husband claimed to not like many foods or only liked them prepared a certain way he grew up with. On the other hand, I'm lucky enough to be married to a man who is grateful for every meal I prepare for him and therefore he at least tries it before denouncing it. Most of the time he finds he actually likes what I make, even when he thinks he won't. (Like last night when he made ugly faces about the carrot slaw I made because it had apples and raisins in it. Then he later told me it was his favorite part of dinner.)
I also agree with you that sneaking food in is not the way to go. I think you're better off with Faye's "one meal a week" plan. Try something new that's not a far cry from what he already likes - that's how I worked in ground turkey in our house, using it in lasagna or meatloaf before moving to burgers. He even defended it when talking to his parents who also claim to not like ground turkey. With veggies, it's really not too difficult to add another in - one he likes, and one he thinks he doesn't like. Or use them in a dish - not necessarily sneaking, because you could tell him, but things like soups, chilis, stirfries have enough veggies in them and so much flavor that he may not mind the taste. And with things like stirfries, if he doesn't like the veggie after tasting it, then he can "eat around it."
When you are trying to make new things maybe you could start small. Meaning if you are making a new side dish make sure the main dish is something he likes, or vice versa. This will give him the opportunity to try the new dish but if he doesn?t like it he still has something else to eat. After he has (hopefully) begun to try new things you could begin incorporating more ?adventurous? meals.
What about turkey as a meat? You can make that ground - turkey burgers, turkey tacos, turkey chili, turkey meatballs...a lot of possibilities there
Also, how about sweet potatoes or maybe yuca? Maybe try to expand some of the veggies.
I would try to introduce one new thing with each meal. Like steak, pototoes and zucchini. You could do a new chicken recipe then do broccoli w something else.