Not a same sex household but....

CntryMommy24

 I am very hurt by my mother in law's comments lately, and don't know how to make them stop. I was hoping somebody out there could tell me how to let her know she is disrespectful and how to get her to stop saying things that offend me.

 So we were all discussing stuff going on in the world and one of those Prop 8 commercials came on TV and since we were on the politics subject anyways my mother in law went off about how it was wrong and how she would be voting yes. I remarked that I would be voting NO on prop 8 as I have family members that it would affect and I just don't think it is right to judge people based on who they love.

My MIL just went off! She told me how I am wrong to say that and how I am not a good christian woman for having those beliefs. I tried to explain, in a reasonable manner, that I was brought up to believe everybody had a choice and that I didn't feel it was ok to be prejudice towards people. (His parents are ALWAYS discussing in front of me their beliefs on being black... They will not be voting for Obama.) I tried to explain that I feel since we were discussing things anyways she was entitled to her own opinions of course, but I am still hurt by how she lashed out at me and told me I was a bad person and going to hell for believing something different than her.

I have put up with a lot when I visit their home with them being racist and prejudice because I feel that we are in their home and I should be respectful of them. Since they never visit our place of residence, I feel like I have not had an oppourtunity to tell her how I feel about what they say sometimes. I am white, but I have nieces and nephews who are black. I have puerto rican half sisters. I have Chinese great uncles out there. I have gay aunts, nieces, uncles, etc and I just feel that they should have enough respect for me to not say those things around me.

I just want to know:

Would it be horrible of me to just say something to her next time even if we are in her home or should I just close my mouth and pretend I don't hear it?

My husband is not racist or prejudice, and he has told them that they are out of line, but they just tell him we are wrong and that basically his wife (me) is not a good christian woman and is going to hell for her beliefs.

What would you do in this situation?

Again I believe everybody is entitled to their beliefs but I also feel very disrespected by my in-laws because they know about my interacial and gay family members.

katie.marsh

Holy cow, you just explained my life down to a T!! Basically what I've tried to do is ignore her comments while I'm at her home, when something is said I usually will leave the room while shes in mid sentence and go have a ciggarette. you can read my post that is further down " what i have to deal with from my mil " but I'm going through the same exact thing as you, as well with the different races in my family and she won't be voting for obama as well. I've told her numerous times my feelings about all of it, but she "forgot" about it all. The only thing is that my FIL will usually back me and tell her to shut up, but that really doesn't solve the problem that she doesn't respect me enough to just not say anything while I'm around. 

cookiemonster03

awful.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I tend to not see people who don't respect me and who I am, but that's not an easy solution for you. Perhaps kill her with kindness, and all the wonderful things you can say about your non-anglo, non-hetero,  non-Christian perhaps relatives/friends/loved ones?

alwayzamaid

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's so hard with closed minded people, because no matter what you do they will never see a different point of view. I would try and avoid topics like that when you guys are around each other, and if it happens to get on that topic, just try and steer to another, totally different topic.