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Need your T&Ps...Worst weekend of my life.
DH told me on Friday he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married anymore and that he has been depressed and having a lot of anxiety. He said he was bored with our relationship and he wasnt sure what it was, but his thoughts of me changed. He said he was going to leave before we found out I was pregnant so that's not what freaked him out. He actually went apartment shopping on Saturday. He had given up on us and was already making plans for our future apart. When I would talk to him and pour my heart out, there was no emotion. He actually looked like another person to me.
I did a lot of praying, crying, hyperventilating. I could not sleep or eat. I made myself eat and felt like I was going to throw up with every bite. I still didn't eat very much and had diarrhea all weekend.
He and my dad have a very good relationship...he is the son he never had and DH thinks more of him than his own dad. When my dad called him yesterday and didn't tell him what he wanted to hear like everyone else he had been talking to...something snapped in his mind. He was at Starbucks working when he talked to my dad. DH came home crying as soon as he hung up and told me he wouldn't leave and never would never leave. For the first time since Friday he told me he loved me.
This was a total shock to me. No, I know there isn't anyone else. The only thing to him that he puts before me and thinks is worth leaving me for is his job. He eats, sleeps and thinks about all sports 24/7. He said he is afraid that there is something he is not doing and missing out on and if he wasn't married he could. After talking to my dad he knows there there's nothing that's he is missing out on. He knows I would never hold him back as far as his career is concerned. He told me he need to work on putting me and our family before work because we mean everything to him.
Another problem is our communication and the TTC for over 2 years has put a big strain on our relationship. He felt that's all I cared about. We have both promised to work on our communication and to try to get that spark back in our relationship. We needed to talk more and not just go through the motions of marriage, but actually have a good relationship.
So, I need your T&Ps for our relationship cause who's to know if he will snap again. He finally agreed to get counseling. Also today is my first U/S. All weekend I didn't feel pregnant...I didn't want to be pregnant anymore if it meant starting out in a broken home. Please pray for a good U/S...I'm so scared.
Thank you for listening.
GEAUX TIGERS!!!
1st pregnancy: BFP- 6/28/09 - Found out we lost our little girl on 10/9/09 at 19w 4d - D&E- 10/14/09
June 2010, corrective surgery for Septate Uterus and large fibroids
2nd pregnancy: BFP- 10/18/10 - Slow rising, non-doubling HCGs, no heart beat. Non-viable pregnancy, D&C- 11/12/10
Started Metformin 6/30/11, Started Clomid 7/20/11 - Unsuccessful
HSG and Laparoscopic surgery revealed blocked tubes and lots of scar tissue...IVF here we come!!!
Surprise BFP naturally!!! IT'S A BOY!!!
Re: Need your T&Ps...Worst weekend of my life.
I will be thinking about you today and crossing my fingers for a great U/S. I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I'm sure that the stress of TTC has really taken a toll on your relationship, and I hope that you can both heal with counseling. Hugs!
ditto - prayers!!!
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Prayers and big hugs for you! I'm glad he agreed to counseling, I hope you are able to work things out. Good for your dad for calling him ... I wonder what he said to him?
Fingers and toes are crossed for your U/S today. Praying hard for a healthy baby.
BFP with no treatment!
This has been so incredibly difficult on both of you... it's not totally surprising that he mentally checked out (especially since people in his line of work can get so emotionally wrapped up and invested in sports, like you mentioned). AAfter you mentioned his not wanting to sign the IVF consent forms, I was so worried for you two.
Super duper crazy prayers for both of you-- that this ultrasound is a turning point, and that stability and understanding are ahead.
Lots of love, too.
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WHAT SHE SAID!
I am praying for you guys! On a positive note, I think it takes a strong man to be honest with his feelings both good and bad. The bad was first and then he did a lot of thinking and now it's time for the good. You two have been through more than 99.9% of couples out there and it's all a bit of a roller coaster.
Prayers for continued understanding and a good healthy baby and a good healthy marriage!
Ditto. Thinking of you today (and most days!)
I am thinking of you all the time. I'm sorry you are goin through this kind of stress and I'm so glad there was a good outcome and that he decided that he didn't want to leave. I know that doesn't "fix" what he said - there is still some fear and hurt feelings but at least he wants to work on it.
:hugs:
You are in my T&P. Hang in there ((hugs))
This! Let us know if you need anything.
I thought of you yesterday when I was listening to music in my car. There's a song called "dancing in the minefields"... It's about marriage, how marriage is hard, but thats why we make the promise, so it's not so easy to walk away when it's incredibly tough.
let's go dancing in the minefields
Let's go sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed, but I believe that's what the promise is for.
So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my sorrows, at the end of all my faith, when I forget my name remind me.
Its a Christian music tune, and also refers to God's promise in the bond of marriage. In any event, it's absolutely beautiful and has helped me through some little rough spots. Nothing like what you've been through, but I think we all have those nights when we're pretty sure the world as we know it will end... And then it doesn't, and we realize that marriage is a good thing.
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