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Passive aggressive fail
So my SIL (the one who wants a plane) had put on FB a few weeks ago that she and my nephew (almost 3) had made homemade Valentines "for the grandparents/aunts/uncles". At the time I thought that sounded so cute and I was looking forward to getting one. Then life got crazy and I forgot about it.
Saturday we went to ILs house because BIL was in town. I saw a card on MIL's fridge that had a cute construction paper owl with googly eyes that said "Owl be your Valentine". I took it down and read it and it was from SIL and nephew. I tried to casually bring it up before dinner ("Oh that's so cute you got a Valentine!") but no one really paid attention, which was probably a good thing in retrospect.
Yesterday I went for coffee with my friend and I was regaling her with IL stories and it dawned on me -- we never got a Valentine. Her FB post said grandparents/aunts/uncles, and we didn't get one! That stinks! So I decided to be a bad girl and post a semi-passive-aggressive note on her FB wall about it. I said I loved the Valentine that nephew made for his Nana, it was so cute! (Meaning "Hey, dude, I'm on to you! What gives?") My hope is perhaps she didn't send us one because she didn't want to upset me or something, but if that's the case -- just ask me if it would bother me, or ask DH. Don't just assume I need to be sheltered and exclude us.
She texted me and thanked me for the kind words but asked me to remove my post because she doesn't like nephew's name on her FB due to her job (she's a cop), so I did. Then we texted back and forth about how cute my nephew is, their plans to go to Disney, how we should totally come visit them. She did end up asking about my miscarriages and how I was feeling, which is the first time she has EVER asked me about how I was doing, and the first loss was 14 months ago. But she never brought up the Valentine, so my subtle jab went totally unnoticed. 
I'm kind of bummed it didn't ruffle her feathers and I'm too anticonfrontational to bring it back up. Oh well, it's probably for the best.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Re: Passive aggressive fail
Sounds like she either isn't too bright of a bulb or was just really trying to dance around the issue. I would be upset about not getting one as well. With how she's a cop, you would think that she would have her FB page on lock-down (tight security settings) so it wouldn't matter if her DS's name was posted.
ETA: Maybe the next time she does that say "Oh, mine must have gotten lost in the mail because I never received one!" and see what she says.
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison