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Terrible Twos
I'm am so frustrated with the terrible twos. If H gets upset about something, she throws whatever is in her hand (or within arms reach). She also yells no! The last few months have been rough. She made the transition to my room at daycare and we moved. Needless to say she doesn't listen to me at daycare and then doesn't listen to me at home. I'm at my wits end as to how to handle her. She has started throwing more temper tantrums, also. I know when she is with her father (one weekend a month) she gets whatever she wants and there is absolutely no structure or rules. This makes it extremely hard for when she comes home and has to follow her regular schedule. I have tried to get my ex husband on board with keeping the same schedules, rules, and structure but he refuses. They are always also at his parents house when he has visitation because he was in Colorado and now moved back.
Does anyone have advice as to how to best handle or change this behavior?
Re: Terrible Twos
I'm sorry you're having so much trouble. It can be very frustrating. My DS responds best to a regular schedule and set limits. He gets time outs for inappropriate behavior (up to 5 minutes).
When he's throwing a temper tantrum he gets put in time out. Even if he screams the entire time he's there, when time is up he is always ready to be more compliant and has usually forgot whatever thing it was that set him off. He used to refuse to sit in the time out chair, so we resorted to strapping him in his high chair. It only took a week, then the threat of the high chair was enough to get him to stay in the time out chair
For the most part though the tantrums have subsided (worse from 15-26 months). I try to be gentle and patient with him without giving in to whatever he wants.
As far as what goes on at your ex's house I can't provide that kind of experience. However, my parents watch DS & DD for a week at a time every 2-3 months (they live out of state) They spoil them rotten and give them anything they want. But when they come home they know they can't get away with those things with us. Stay consistent when she's with you. Hopefully your ex will come around to working with you.
Good luck!
Hey there,
I was just about to write a vent about the very same thing this AM!!!
Kellen has been a real handful, and is not listening AT ALL. We have him in time out, or, if he doesn't stay put there, I put him in his crib (which he still hasn't tried to crawl out of) and then once he understands that the crib is no fun during daylight hours with no animals in it, I move him back to time out for another 30 sec- 1 min. However, my DH was so frustrated with him last night, because Kellen didn't want to go to bed (he was in his crib laughing and jumping up and down- a first) that my DH threatened to spank him. Uh.... not okay with me. My DH and I were both spanked, and I am not totally against it, I just don't think it was warranted in a situation where I knew my DH was clearly exhausted, and this was his 'quick fix'. So, after a huge argument, and little talking this morning, I am hoping we can get on the same page. It is hard when you don't agree on parenting. Even though we are in the same house!
I wish you well. And, like PP said, you can only keep the consistency going at home with you, and hope that your ex will understand that, for DD's well being, you both need to be on the same page. I am going to try to explain that to DH tonight! Good luck to both of us!
I walk away from tantrums. I just ignore her. If I tried to do anything about it, it got worse. I even had to do it at the grocery store. I was "that" mom who left her screaming kid in the aisle.
At home, she gets sent to time out. When we first started, we put her in the PNP, without anything. She stays in timeout one minute per year old she is. Now that she's a little older, she sits in a chair in the dining room.
When she is doing something that warrants a timeout, I count to three in a calm voice. If she hasn't stopped the behavior she goes to time out.