Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
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Re: SHUT UP AND BE THANKFUL
Sigh. She was using appropriate family planning methods and they failed. (I'm taking her word on that, because they do fail on occasion -- and we're just past that huge birth control pill recall, kwim?).
That. Sucks.
And the FIRST response suggested a HYSTERECTOMY!?!?!
And oh "please love that precious baby" like the OP going to throw it into the river or something?
No, she's just looking for a little support.
FFS, S&R, FFS.
I don't get it. People are mad at her for being surprised and not entirely excited about an unexpected pregnancy?
I want kids some day, but if I was doing everything to avoid them right now and still got pregnant it would take a few days of "woe is me" to get myself adjusted to it. The woman has two kids and didn't want another. She was trying to get her tubes tied and couldn't while she was on the pill. So, she's pregnant against her plans and possibly her better judgement and she's supposed to be instantly overjoyed?
People don't work like that. That's not to say she won't be excited in a few days. Give her a minute to get her mind wrapped around it.
Flame me if you want, but I think the "how dare you not be immediately overjoyed about an unexpected occurance in your life because some people aren't that lucky" response is bs and a little AW-ey.
Ugh - like the poor woman isn't going through enough already.
She was using appropriate bc here, it's not like she threw caution to the wind.
(this coming from someone TTC 2+ years for #2)
Just because I want something, doesn't mean everyone does.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Honestly, I gotta wonder if she really looked for the flavor of the GP board before she posted it over there. Which is not to say that's an excuse for jumping all over her. But seriously, that is so not the place to post shits like that.
Someone reposted the first page of her DD and
at the nastiness. There's also a 2nd post egging people on to post replies to the repost on S&R.
Wow they are harsh on GP. "Get over your self" and Who posts on internet chat boards during a crisis? Um hello lots of people who don't know where to turn and don't have support IRL.
I don't get the hate/rage for the people who are supporting the OP. It's a hard situation to be in, where's the empathy and compassion?
It's the GP board. It's not like she posted on TTTC or the loss board.
Exactly ESD... It's GP. Not NGP (notGettingPregnant).
Like I said, the IFers can all thank azzhats like that for the reputation they get.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Personally, I understand the DD and repost. She realized that the first post was badly placed and she wanted to move it to what she thought was a more appropriate audience.
And GP is one of the nicest boards on TN.
Oh I totally understand why she DDed. I'm just saying I don't think it was all that wrong of her to post on GP.
Maybe because I am IF, it only took me about half a minute to scan some of the post titles and (beyond the fuuckload of GTTKY posts) see that there would likely be a lot of people there who would have a problem with that kind of post. I don't know. I suppose when you're in an emotional crisis you're not really thinking about it like that.
Well what kind of weirdo seeks out internet strangers during a crisis honeybee?? The nest is all about friendships and getting to know yous afterall.
So she posted. Then she DD when she was told to move along. And then the GP people had to follow her to the S&R board and rail on her there, after she did exactly what they told her to do? That is what I did not get.
I just don't understand the logic of the GP biitches running over there to harrass her some more. Because they're IF, she is required to automatically be happy and grateful about the child she got pregnant with on BC? And telling her to close her legs (which I know was what was said on the GP board, not in the S&R thread)? The woman is married and taking BC. It's not like she's out screwing anything that walks, for chrissakes. She even clearly explained that insurance doesn't cover the procedure and was taking BC in the interim until a more permanent method can be done, so it wasn't even a pull & pray oops, either. I cannot believe how horrid those GP were to her. I hate to pull the bitter old hags card but...yeah. I felt pretty bad for that OP, honestly.
Oh and by the way, in one of the subsequent GP posts about the OP, there was a comment about how TIP would "fall" for whatever she'd said in a previous post of hers. So they apparently think TIP is stupid, too.
lol broc.
I don't know why, but something about that post and the IF women railing on her to suck it up and be grateful, is making me irrationally angry.
As I said, I am IF and I really don't get it either. It sucks big donkey balls and it stings (or at least I can remember when it did - I'm pretty much over that shiit by now) to see those kinds of posts, but I just don't understand the level of vitriol.
As for the stupidity, it looks like there was some other post of hers about her H possibly having an affair. (I've been following the blow up on the GP board.) According to the answers she's giving on the post over there, it was the psycho "other woman" hacking his phone, etc. and making it all up to try to snag him. So they may have a point with that...
Not just that, but you can't just walk into the doctor and say one hysterectomy please. My mom has endo and wants a hysterectomy, but her doctor won't do it unless the endo becomes more severe. It's a major surgery.
I really just don't understand it. I struggle with IF. We have been TTC#2 for over 2 years. IF sucks and it's not fair. But I still don't see things the way they do at all.
I have two kids, been married 8 years.... and after having my 2nd child, I had nightmares about being PG again... since I knew I NEVER wanted to be! It was so bad that I was telling my DH, that I knew where babies come from and didn't ever want to have anymore, so unless we were sure we couldn't...I wasn't interested. He got an appt with a urologist within the week and had a vasectomy in a month... it took all of 15 minutes!!!! And even my GYN said that I had two vaginal non medicated births...so it was his turn!
Honestly, we were using condoms and I was on the pill, and I have PCOS and I was still crazy anxious... because I know that it can still happen!
I feel bad for her.
I was on the pill when I got pregnant with DS. The medication for my bipolar disorder interfered with it (there was no note of it in the literature or from my psychiatrist). Was I overjoyed when I got pregnant? Hell no. I was scared out of my mind. I was unemployed, now STBXH was working minimal hours (11 a week). Plus, things between the two of us were not in the best place to be having a child.
It took me a few months to actually be excited about my pregnancy. Now I'm getting a divorce, fully employed (I was a temp with them when I found out I was pregnant, and they still hired me on at 7 months pregnant!), and things have turned around for me.
*stab stab stab stab stab*
IF sucks.
The fact that there is IF in the world doesnt make an 'whoopsie' PG any more pallatable.
OMG. Reading that made me seriously dislike someone I dont even know. that nicklet person. UGH!!
why do people feel the need to throw their own situations into someone elses...if its not helping then why even bother?
I mean I understand someone who doesnt have children feeling some kind of way about accidental pregnancies...but the OP didnt intend for this to happen. it just makes me so sad for her.