Trouble in Paradise
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My sister's TIP is driving me insane

Long story short, my sister's loser husband dumped her in May, 2011.   He told her he had cheated on her and wanted a divorce.

Being omniscient in the matters of TIP, I knew it was only a matter of time before the poo hit the fan, but of course I felt terrible for my sister.

Immediately, ex-BIL posts on FB that he "broke up" with my sister.   Uh huh.   You don't "break up" when you're married.  Idiot. 

Anyhoo, my sister is definitely the type of person to hide her head in the sand.   She just avoids things.  That "thing" she's been avoiding is actually being proactive in ending the marriage.   They're still married.   Neither one has taken any steps to end the divorce.   Loser is now living with another woman and her kid (and that was an area I saw future TIP, because my sister really wants children and my ex-BIL seems like the type who eats children).   Yeah, they were an odd match for sure.

My sister finally just asked for my help last week in starting the divorce process.  I am licensed to practice law, but I'm a real estate attorney.  I've never done a divorce in my life, which means I'll have to spend some time researching the local rules and reviewing all the document requirements.   Bleh.    And I'd do it all for free just to finally get her free of that a-hole.   

Re: My sister's TIP is driving me insane

  • That's rather kind of you.

    I can't believe he said he broke up with her. That's pretty amazing, right there.

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • Geez.  That sounds incredibly frustrating.  It would be really nice of you to help her out.  Do you think it would be basically amicable just so they can get it over with?  I can see a messy divorce for a family member being a bad one to take on first time.

    Also, broke up?  Seriously?

  • Are you sure you want to do this (get involved)?  I'm a lawyer and didn't want to do my own, so I asked a friend of mine to do it for me as a favor.  The "I just need paperwork done" divorce became this horrible ordeal because we were dealing with an a$$hole, and to save my friendship I had to hire someone else.  Do you feel like you could give her good legal advice without your personal judgment becoming involved?

    I have stayed far, far away from representing family because I just don't want to go there.

    these pretzels are making me thirsty.
  • I hate people that find someone new, cheat, and then wanna get a divorce. If you really feel this is your second best, be a man and get a divorce first.


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  • Yeah, my "amicable, paperwork-only" divorce turned out to be anything but.  I'd help where you can, but look into getting a family law attorney, preferably one that provides a la carte services.  I don't know the laws in her state, but I had to go to court in mine, and there's something to be said for having a divorce specialist talk with the judge.

    Edited for spelling. 

    This is my siggy.
  • Well, I asked if she thought he'd be agreeable to a dissolution.

    The good thing is that they were dirt poor.  I mean, they essentially had zero assets, and my sister voluntarily walked away from anything that could be valuable (like the washer/dryer my mom gave them as a wedding gift).   Yeah, she's a bit of a pushover.

    So all that was settled months ago, unofficially.   The thing I can see him doing is being an unreliable idiot who just doesn't show up for court, or refuses to pay his share of the court costs.  

    I have another anecdote to show what a fool this guy is.   We gave them money to purchase a car.   It was a "loan" but you don't loan money to family unless you can live with it becoming a gift.  And they were dirt poor, so we were pretty lenient with the repayment terms...aka not paying us at all for 6 months before they split.

    So then after he "broke up" with her, she asked him about his plans for repaying this loan (my sister didn't want the car because she hated the car he chose).   I kid you not, his response was, "if I didn't pay them while we were together, why would I pay them after we break up?"   I'm not joking.    So my sister took the car...which she has yet to sell to give us our money back.   Double sigh.

     

  • I'm sure you'll do what feels right.  My STBX and I had no assets, no property, no kids, nada, and he's still managed to drag this out for a year.  Hope it goes better for your sister!
    these pretzels are making me thirsty.
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