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sleeping over?
J has asked me to stay over before (on a weeknight) but I wasn't comfortable that soon. This weekend, my roommate works from 7pm to 7am and he doesn't have his kids, so it'll be the first real opportunity for a weekend stay over, so I invited him to my place. It'll be 4 weeks of seeing each other 3 times a week.
Im really nervous, because I'm so self conscious about being seen without makeup (concealer and powder), as I have really dark inherited circles under my eyes. It's kind of my "birthmark", if you will. It's not just your run of the mill I-need-sleep circles, they're pretty deep and dark.
Im just afraid that he'll stop feeling attracted to me after he sees it the next morning.
But anyway, the point of this was to ask...how soon did you start sleeping over?
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Re: sleeping over?
My first sleep over with BF was not planned- I had a 11:15pm softball game that got delayed on a weeknight. His house is only a few miles from where I played and only 6 miles from my work. I was living with my mom at the time and she was 45 minutes away. BF insisted I stay because I was exhausted and he was worried about me driving home. By the time the game ended and we got to his house it was almost 2am, so I only slept for 3 hours- luckily I can shower at work and do laundry there too. We had been dating about 4 weeks at that time. After that it was a few weeks before I slept over again and he never stayed at my place because of my mom.
I honestly don't remember but I know I was really nervous about it too as I have adult acne (yay me!). As long as I wear makeup you can't really tell but it is obvious without makeup. BF was actually very sweet about it and told me that I look better without it.
Anyway...in response to your comment that I bolded above, if he is that shallow then why would you want to date him anyway???
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that after four weeks, he's probably pretty in to you based on things other than your looks. And honestly, if he's going to be put off by something like that, he's probably not someone that you'll want to be with in the long run anyways.
That said, I think that it was right around the 4 week mark that BF and I started having sleepovers and at the 2 month mark we went away for a long weekend together. I joked that if we could share a hotel for three nights and not be disgusted by / kill each other, that he was a keeper LOL
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First, good for you to saying no to a sleepover if you weren't feeling comfortable yet.
As for the first one, I've totally slept in make up before. Like dmarie, I have acne (stress doesn't help--grr!) and am very self conscious. I agree with the pp's that he's more into you than just for your looks by now. Also, if some dark circles keep him at bay, then he's not a quality guy.
I agree with this, after 4 weeks of seeing him 3X per week- he is more into just your looks IMO. You probably notice the under eye circles more than anyone! Good Luck!
I actually talked to him about it last night, and he doesn't seem to think its a big deal, but I've always been so overly self conscious about it that I won't go in public, period, without concealer. As it is, one day I rubbed my eye without thinking about it, and the next coworker I saw pulled me aside and asked point blank if then-BF had hit me!
I think it's making me so much more nervous because he's definitely the most attractive man I've ever been with, so that makes me nervous in and of itself. I know its all just in my head, so I just need to figure out how to get over it I guess.
We actually talked last night about taking a little trip together in a couple of months, so he's obviously (hopefully) planning on sticking around. I'm glad that you guys have done the sleepover thing early on, too. Now I don't feel so weird.
We were about 4 weeks in on our first sleep over and I was nervous about the no make up thing, because after ds was born I stopped wearing make up on the weekends (I was just too tired to do it most days), and ex made some rude comments about me not trying to look pretty anymore. Or how I wasn't as attractive anymore when I didn't wear make up. Ex's family would comment about how I didn't like to wear make up, too.
I got through it. BF didn't care. In fact, he has recently told me that he prefers me without make up because I am prettier without it in his opinion. So I am back to no make up on weekends at the bf's request
All this to say ... you might be surprised and he finds you prettier without the make up!
Our first was about three weeks in and I totally did the sleep in makeup thing (PIH "scarring" from adult acne), but at four weeks he showed up to my place at noon after I'd been at a show in NYC the night before and didn't get home till 7 am, during the time when my eyes were all quasimodo-ish from the allergy to Diorshow I discovered I had, so he got to see me looking absolutely frightful sans makeup on no sleep...and still stuck around all day taking care of poor hungover, no sleep, allergy-medded-up me.This past weekend was week 5, and he spent the entire weekend at my place; showed up Friday night, left late Monday afternoon. Apparently we're fairly comfortable with each other. ::shrug::
Ditto the pp's, though, in that it's great that you're not rushing things when you're not entirely comfortable. But also ditto them that if you guys have been seeing each other three times a week for the past month, I think he's not going to be deterred by dark circles.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho