Baptism Party Etiquette Q.

kej2883

Good morning all - 

I am planning my DD's Baptism for May and I'm trying to keep the guest list to a minimum. We are inviting a few of DH's close friends, but they all have children that range from around age 6 - teenager. I know this is probably really rude, but is it totally inappropriate to just invite the parents & not all the children? If they all brought their kids, we're looking at at least 15 additional people! Yikes!

Please advise! 

kellyann1972

personally I think its fine, I know most kids that age and up won't really want to come but you should be prepared for declines if they can't get a sitter in the middle of the day on a weekend.

Allison711

If it was at a restaurant I'd understand but you'd probably lose a lot of people or just one of the parents would come.  If it was at home, then rude IMO.

HarrietNJMommy

kellyann1972:

personally I think its fine, I know most kids that age and up won't really want to come but you should be prepared for declines if they can't get a sitter in the middle of the day on a weekend.

This. I do think that Baptisms are more kid-friendly than weddings though, so it could be perceived as rude for the kids to not be invited. 

debfife

Allison711:

If it was at a restaurant I'd understand but you'd probably lose a lot of people or just one of the parents would come.  If it was at home, then rude IMO.

This.

For us, if we were invited w/out kid, either one or both of us would not go. I would not pay a sitter to go to this.

ghl

Honestly, I wouldn't think it's rude whether it was at a restaurant or at home. 15 more people is a lot, whether it's a per head cost or a amoutno f available space inside my house. If these are friends with whom you are close enough to want them to be at your child's baptism, you should be able to talk to them about whether or not their children are invited. The only thing I would make sure of is that it's fair among friends - either all or none. And don't be offended if they decline the invitation if they can't or choose not to arrange child care.

MrsDB

I think it sounds tricky. If i'm reading it correctly- you're inviting kids.... just not the kids of DH's friends? Or do they just happen to be the ones with kids?

I think that it's either gotta be a "no kids" event (which is weird considering it's honoring a kid) or all kids invited.  Does the place have an inexpensive kids option? Maybe even have another table for all the kids to hang out at with buffet style chicken tenders and fries or something?

BeachBaby07

I would think it odd to get invited without our kids to a party for a kid. That being said I hate bringing my kids to parties in restaurants because they get bored, they run around, and we never have any fun because we are trying to keep them under control. If just the parents were invited, we would likely decline and send a gift

Andrea0429

BeachBaby07:

I would think it odd to get invited without our kids to a party for a kid. That being said I hate bringing my kids to parties in restaurants because they get bored, they run around, and we never have any fun because we are trying to keep them under control. If just the parents were invited, we would likely decline and send a gift

This.  And we usually have family sit, so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter, but both of us work full-time and I'd be a little annoyed about the party interferring with our family time. 

debfife

Andrea0429:

  And we usually have family sit, so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter

That's not an option for everyone, that's why I said there's no way I'd pay a sitter for a baptism.

Andrea0429

debfife:

Andrea0429:

  And we usually have family sit, so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter

That's not an option for everyone, that's why I said there's no way I'd pay a sitter for a baptism.

I know.  I was just saying, I don't have to pay and I'd still be a little annoyed about no kids.  And it might affect my response.

kellyann1972

Andrea0429:

BeachBaby07:

I would think it odd to get invited without our kids to a party for a kid. That being said I hate bringing my kids to parties in restaurants because they get bored, they run around, and we never have any fun because we are trying to keep them under control. If just the parents were invited, we would likely decline and send a gift

This.  And we usually have family sit, so I wouldn't have to pay a sitter, but both of us work full-time and I'd be a little annoyed about the party interferring with our family time. 

really? We work FT and yes weekend is family time but not 24/7. Also the party isn't for a kid, like a real kid they know and can play with its a party for a baby thats really for the parents. My kids would be pretty damn bored. But if good friends invited us since they think of us like close family I would make every effort to get a sitter and go.  

wed2506

I would be put off by the fact that it is a no-kid party, but being that I have planned parties and know the cost I would understand why they did it.  The weekends are the only time we have to be together as a family and yes, I would not want this to interfere with that...family time is that important to MH & I.  If I was presented with this situation I would most likely decline the invite and just send a gift

erikag23

i think it is rude.  for our dd's baptism, we just invited immediate family, aunts and uncles to keep the guest list down. we didn't invite any friends, but didn't feel bad becasue we were not invited to their kids baptisms either.

KandA2006

yeah its kinda strange, just my opinion...

for DS baptism last spring, I kept it to immediately family only.. honestly I've never been to my friends kids baptism. so it never phased me to invite anyone outside of family. 

but if you want to invite friends.. well then I'd keep it to an open invite for them to bring their kids.. if money is an issue.. then I'd find an cheaper way to make it affordable.  I had it at my house... bringing in food and making some of it myself kept things at my price point.

 

Jerseyjessie

where is the party being held at? if it's out i guess it is Ok, but be prepared if you have family members bringing kids and then you have DH's friends kids not invited for them to be mad.

I consider a baptism to be a family party and include all.

kej2883

Thanks for all of your responses & opinions - much appreciated! 

I'd like to keep the list to a minimum (to keep the cost down!), but DH wants some close friends, all of whom have at least 3 kids, so it adds up. 

 

I kinda was leaning towards having a house party, but still, there is only so much space.

 

I get that it is kinda strange/rude/interrupting in family time & I wouldn't want to invite them just to have them decline to simply get a gift. It's not about the gift. So, it'll probably be with their kids or we'll have to trim the list!

 

Again - thanks for the opinions!  

Shoegal23

When our friends threw the baptism for their daughter, I of course said yes. We were then out to lunch with the mom (my friend) and 3 other girlfriends where we started talking about the party. One of us mentioned something about our kids and my friend said "oh, kids aren't invited, we want it to just be X,"  we all kinda started lol'ing and said there wa no way we would not have brought our kids had she not just mentioned it. We were all a little confused after the fact bc none of us had ever been to a kid-free baptism. I wasn't bent out of shape about it, my mom watched the kids but I did think it was weird and a tad rude, honestly.

Shoegal23

I will add that im planning dd's baptism and I already have about 30+ kids on the list. I guess it does add up. But we are also having about 80 adults so who cares at that point?!?!?

 

semdkm

I don't think it's necessarily rude, but we ran into the same problem and just felt weird about not inviting the kids, so we only invited our two close friends (the Godparents) and their kids.  To us, we felt it was family type event and knew the parents wouldn't all be able to find sitters, so we just didn't invite them.