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What a Day (Vent, Long)
So I called my mom up this morning and said Sophia and I were headed to Target and asked her if she'd like to join us. She's always complaining she never sees Sophia so I threw it out there. We go to Target and then back to her house for lunch. While I'm halfway through lunch she asks me if I'm still "using Twitter and Facebook"...it was odd but I said "yeah and I'm going to a blogging conference in NYC in August". Apparently this was the in she was looking for because she proceeds to say she "found my blog". I asked her what she thought of it and she told me "it's nice except for a few posts". I ask her "such as?".
She then proceeds to tell me how much it hurt her feelings that I didn't tell her I had a miscarriage but blogged about it and told the "whole world" why I didn't tell her and that it made her look like a "terrible person". (Quick back story for the newbies: I had a m/c at 6 weeks almost 2 years ago. It sucked at the time and for several months afterwards but I've made peace and moved on.) She then asked me to take it down because she doesn't want people to think she's some kind of "monster".
In spite of myself, I said I'd make it private just so it didn't turn into this whole big ordeal and dropped it. I did not want to rehash my miscarriage from almost 2 years ago.
To be fair, the post said specifically that I couldn't trust my family, namely my mom and sister, nor T's family to give me the support I was looking for at the time. My mom is very pragmatic and has been known to say things along the lines of "something was clearly wrong, it's for the best". Clearly this is not the type of condolence I was looking for at the time and wanted to avoid it. My sister is just a selfish person and was being a royal b*tch during this time since she was mid-wedding planning and in special form.
I went home, put Sophia down for a nap, and went and did some baking. I saw about two hours later that my mom had called twice since I had been home. I call her back and ask her what she needed. She opens with "Oh, I wanted to tell you your sister also read it. Well she brought it to me."
It's at this point that I lost my shiit. I cannot get over the fact that these two women are dragging up a post that is two years old about my miscarriage and making it about them. How I'm hurtful for not sharing it with them and being unkind for saying I can't go to them when I need support. I'm just at a complete loss that somehow I'm in the wrong for this.
Re: What a Day (Vent, Long)
Those were pretty much my exact words.
Yep.
I would also tell them that the correct reaction is, "Wow, I am so sorry you went through such a hard time in your life."
Ugh... I am angry for you. You don't have to put up with that.
ETA... And I would possibly tell them that the "world" doesn't give two sh*ts about their reputation.
Oh wait, that's what you WISH had happened, not what actually happened. It's too bad that they can't see things from your perspective.
I am sorry that they continue to act as though their feelings are more important than yours. I'm sorry that you've had to experience a miscarriage, but also that you did not have the support of your mother and sister during that time. Fortunately, you are aware of how they operate and are able to shield yourself.
Are you going to change how or what you blog knowing that they are now reading?
I'm sorry you've had a craptastic day.
Yep. Exactly what I was going to say. Instead of apologizing that you didn't think you could get the support you wanted, instead of trying to give you the support now that you didn't have then, it's all about them and how you made them look bad.
I do understand your wanting to make the entries private, at least for now, in order to try and shut them up.
I've pretty much cut out any mention of our family in passing for the last 6 months or so because I found out that T's family was reading it and I didn't want anything taken the wrong way. But everything else will stay the same.
Agreed. My cousin and aunt are a lot like this and it hurts every time they do stuff like your mom did today. The killer is they never remember that they do it, and I'm sure your mom and sister are the same way. Hugs.
Stupid wenches is right.
I'm sorry they are making what you've gone through about them. Like TX said, this just proves the point you made about them not being there for you.