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Well, that was fast...
So, I think K and I are no more.
I don't know if I mentioned it before, but K has A LOT of hangups about sex due to his upbringing. He has a few...um....issues...because of it, so I've tried to be really patient and complimentary about other things he does. But this morning, it felt like things were really robotic, and that he wan't enjoying himself at all, so I stopped him and said that I felt like he wasn't enjoying himself, and didn't want to keep doing anything if he wasn't having a good time, too. He got really quiet after that and just kind of stared at the ceiling for half an hour, but wouldn't talk or respond to me.
I eventually got up and started to get dressed, and asked him if he wanted to talk. Still no response. I finally gave up and went into the bathroom, and when I came out he had his shoes and his bag, and said he thought it was best if he went. He didn't even say goodbye when he walked out.
I think part of me is trying to convince myself to feel bad or guilty about this, but...no. I just can't. It was nice having someone to spend time with, but I think we were WAY too different. For example, i'm not exactly an introvert, but I'm not joking when I say K has ONE friend. One - who lives in Korea; I enjoy going out to dinner, drinking good wines, etc. and K doesn't. Finally, I enjoy sex. And I'm willing to be patient with someone who enjoys it, too, but is having...shall we say "mechanical issues." But being with someone who I feel doesn't even enjoy it? No thank you.
Apparently that's what I get for dating a 26 year old former LDS crazy introvert. Le sigh. Perhaps its time to go back to men my own age...
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Re: Well, that was fast...
Wow...it sounds like there were probably a lot more issues that you only began to see. And at 26 having "mechanical issues" no way! Isn't that the biggest reason to try and date someone younger?
Its even a worse blow to the ego to be the person on the recieving end when someone is acting like you are torturing them/boring them.
Over dinner last night the flags just kept raising. We had to wait about 20 minutes (seriously, that's all) for a table, and he was getting really annoyed. And when I wash sharing about my week (I had a great day on Thursday working with some activists about repro rights), he started sharing about how he spent pretty much all of his time alone. I knew that he spent a lot of his time alone, but when I probed and asked him if he was comfortable with it, he gave a resounding yes. And then started talking about how he didn't really get attached to people or places EVER, etc., etc.
I'm starting to wonder, actually, if he's somewhere on the autism spectrum.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
There was no intercourse. His "mechanical issues" meant that he had A LOT of trouble even getting hard, let alone staying hard.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
He's gay, he can't accept it.
I'm so glad you called it quits.
Screw "onward and upward", this is my new motto!
I had a very similar boyfriend, he pretty much had all of the above issues (sex dysfunction, not very social). Trust me when I say it would have only gotten much worse, MUCH worse. I spent 9 months trying to fit a square into a circle with him, I guess because aside from that he was a nice guy and I had been single a few years and plain and simple, I was lonely. Now I look back and wonder what the EFF I was thinking hanging onto that as long as I did. Get the hell out while you can.
And I'll third that. Amen.