First Day of Daycare Alone Today

MaineIslandBride

Yesterday DS and I went to daycare for the first time. We did a half day together. He did great! I sat on the sidelines while the providers took care of him. I loved seeing him smile and "talk" with the other babies. He did great with his teachers as well and was very smiley and good natured with them. He seemed happy there and it made me feel better about having to go to work and leaving him there. Today he is there for a half day by himself while I'm at home. Tomorrow he will be there all day by himself while I am at home and running errands and getting ready for my return to work.

When I dropped him this morning he was asleep in his car seat. He's not a great napper, so when he falls asleep I hate to wake him. I left him at the daycare asleep. Now I'm wondering if he's going to be scared and looking for me when he wakes up. I feel awful. I thought after seeing him there yesterday and how well he did, that I would be OK  leaving him today. Nope...I'm a mess. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I miss my baby. I hate my job and I don't want to return to work. He's a baby and should be with his mother. I worry he's going to think I don't love him because he's away from me all day.  I'm worried I'm going to miss so much of his life. I hate that I'm home alone right now while people I barely know are getting to spend time with him. I hate this so much.

danieleandwayne

Oh no! Hang in there, Andrea, I'm sure it gets better!

I don't know what you're going through, but I am sending big hugs your way! You're such a good mama!

shuga_23

Abe would fall asleep in the car and I would put his carseat in his crib so he could nap and not be bothered by the other babies. No one ever said that he was confused why I wasn't there when he woke up.

Do you talk to your husband about your daycare concerns?  

MaineIslandBride

shuga_23:

Do you talk to your husband about your daycare concerns?  

Yes, he tries to be reassuring. I don't think he gets it though since he was only home with the baby for a week. It's normal for him to be away all day from the baby, where as it's been my life since he was born to be with him 24/7. I wish we could afford for me not to work, but we just can't do it right now. I know it wil be good for the baby in the long run. He'll most likely be an only child so I think it's going to be good for him to socialize with the kids there. I think he'll be fine....just sucks for me. LOL

oct13becca

It's so hard, I remember crying and feeling incredible nerves the first few days Gaby was at daycare, but like you said, she loved being around the other kids even early on. I want to try to give you a little reassurance of the feelings and connection that he'll certainly have with his mommy no matter whether he's at daycare or not. Gaby was and still is so excited to see me in the afternoon and there's no question that she knows who her biggest fan is (mommy and daddy). Since you'll give him all the support and love in the world in the evenings and whenever you're not working, he'll know every bit of how much you love him. Plus, he'll get that extra socialization and play time with kids that is so great. It's so hard, and I'm dreading having to go through this again with #2, but I wanted to say how pleased I was to see that my anxiety lifted pretty soon after Gaby was at daycare just a week or so.

katsblaze

It's completely normal to feel how you are feeling. It sucks.  I remember the first day I brought the boys to DC, (they had never even been there before, and was at the end of Nov - so they were older).  I cried on the way to work, when I got to my desk, and called at noon time to see how they were.  Of course they were fine.  The first few days/weeks are the hardest.  I will tell you it does get easier. Hang in there.

Danielle1106

MaineIslandBride:

 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I miss my baby. I hate my job and I don't want to return to work. He's a baby and should be with his mother. I worry he's going to think I don't love him because he's away from me all day.  I'm worried I'm going to miss so much of his life. I hate that I'm home alone right now while people I barely know are getting to spend time with him. I hate this so much.

I could have written that myself.  

I'm not going to say it will get easier because I'm not there yet and sometimes those comments aren't helpful for me, but know that you are definitely not alone.  I knew when we were trying that I wouldn't be able to stay home but I am shocked that I've been so upset over it, even with so much confidence in the care he gets at daycare.

You are a good mama for wanting the best for him and you have so many other ways to show him you love him.

Confession: I still cry on my way to work most days.  This is way harder than I expected.  I keep telling myself I will not be that mom that runs out onto the football field every time he ends a play on the ground.

lauram730

This all sounds like what I imagine is normal.  Obviously, I don't have any experiential advice, but I'm already worried about daycare!  I'm hoping to work out a situation with my employer to bring the baby to work a few days a week and he actually suggested it outright when I told him I was pregnant.  (Honestly, I don't know that it would even make sense for me to continue working where I do, making what I make once we have to pay for daycare - I need a new job!)  I don't know if that will be the best solution either and I worry that it might be selfish on my part, not allowing our child to experience the socialization, even at that young of an age.  Obviously, we have time to figure this all out, but I don't think it will be easy either way. 

Hopefully it will get a bit easier for you as time goes on.  I'm sorry you're feeling this way!

MaineIslandBride

Thanks so much ladies. I know I'm not the only one having to deal with this, so it's helpful to know others are in the same situation. I know logically it's the best thing for him and our family, but emotionally it's definitely tough. He's there a full day today. DH just dropped him off. I am spending the morning cleaning the house, cooking and some other things. Getting my hair and nails done this afternoon and maybe doing some clothes shopping. I must say even though I already miss the baby, it's kind of nice to have the house to myself for a bit.