September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Oh My God (miniature pity party inside)
Snooki is pregnant. Snooki and SW2B are pregnant, and I am not. WTF?!
Feel free to add your own WTF. It is Wednesday, after all.
Re: Oh My God (miniature pity party inside)
Stand up for something you believe in.
Also a WTF to my stomach - stop feeling like you're about to toss your tuna. You have 2.5 hours left of work!
It's pretty effed up isn't it. Every time I think I'm getting a lot better at dealing with certain situations (baby related) something like this happens and completely pi$$es me off.
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
Sometimes life is effed up. But it doesn't mean that the universe is against you. Sometimes everything happens for a reason. When someone who may not be the ideal parent gets pregnant, like Snooki or SW2B, it is not the universe saying "eff you." There just may be something else in the cards. It will drive you crazy if you think like that. In some cases, people rise to occasion against the odds and actually become good parents. Or maybe a family member will.
It is hard for me to see kids in foster care who are bounced from home to home and treated like second class citizens. I see people have multiple children with little thought at all and make bad parenting decisions. We had a little boy in the office the other day who was just wandering around, and hadn't even been reported missing. He was such a sweetheart. I wish I could have cut through all the red tape and taken him home on the spot.I have been in multiple scenarios like this. But, we have to go through the whole process of the waiting, the classes, the bureaucracy. Even more so because I am a DCF employee.
I had to change how I though about it. That wasn't my baby. And for every annoyance I have to go through to adopt, what about what the kid had to go through?
To those still TTC, don't lose faith. And don't build resentment at the joy of others. You'll just make yourself miserable.
I don't mind answering. I made it through the 1 cycle wait, and am now on CD11 of my first cycle TTC again.
Some things are easier said then done. The emotions and anger after a loss is WAY more than I could have ever imagined pre-miscarriage.
(Hugs) I'm right there with ya
Mel- I know all of that, and I really do have my head in the right place TTC-wise. Sorry, if I came off as a bitter betty. It's not how I really feel. News like this just sends me into a momentary "WTF?! Life is so unfair" moment. I'm not crying over it or anything.
TTC update for those who care- We're going back to the RE this summer. Until then, we're just keepin on keepin on. We've had every test done. There's nothing wrong with either of us. It's just not happening.
This is what happened to my parents, they had been trying and trying and had every test done and everything came back good. They couldn't understand why they couldn't get pregnant.
My mom decided to stop trying and just let things be, her OB told her that once she stopped trying and let herself relax within months she would be pregnant and she was. Fluck, maybe but it did take them a little over 3 yrs of trying, I was born 2 days after their 4th wedding anniversary.
Hopefully your time is right around the corner!!!
Trust me, I've gotten 1,000 times better since right after. Before, I couldn't even see a pregnant person on tv without crying. Now I can sit down and watch a show with or see a pregnant woman IRL without feeling a complete stab to the heart. Before, the though of my boss being pregnant made my cry and angry. Now I can handle seeing her and talking basic things about the baby ( job related, talk to her son about it). I am not ready for small talk about her pregnancy, but I'm sure that will get easier too. I am not proud of the anger I have felt, but it is what it is. It is part of the grieving process. It has been only like 6 weeks, and for grieving the death of my own baby, I think I'm doing pretty darn well.
I know it's not your intent, but honestly, you are belittling it a bit. It's easy to say "well just don't feel that way." People go through challenging things in life. It's human nature to want things to feel fair or to feel like you have what you "deserve" (hate that term). That's not the way God works, and as much as I know that, it's still hard to wrap your head around sometimes. It isn't necessary looking at it as a slap in the face, but just questioning life. I think that's normal.
Also, when you're struggling with something, you become hyper-sensitive to other's ungratefulness. If I had lost my job, I'm sure all of the fb posts complaining about going to work would urke me. If my house had been destroyed by a tornado, I'm sure I'd roll my eyes at people complaining about cleaning theirs. It just changes your perspective.
I think you are too. I am glad you are feeling better about it. I really did not mean to hurt you.
I don't care either. We're 10dpo rd 2 of clomid, and I've been crampy for 2 days expecting AF.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I know. Thank you.
So you are to the point of actively trying now? Do you usually cramp so early before period? Cramping so early may not be bad thing.
Yep, since1/1. Unfortunately the early cramps are signature endo symptoms, I normally have them 5-7 days before the start. FWIW, I'm being actively monitored and my dr is not super optimistic either. No rising temps, no symptoms other than cramps. Dr tried to reset ovulation after Lupron via Clomid but she wants me to re-regulate for a month, maybe 2 now on bcp because my bloodwork hasn't been what it should have been either of the 2 months.
Stand up for something you believe in.
Thats no fun! I'm sorry things aren't going too smoothly
Eh, it is what it is. I didn't expect it to go smoothly, most people preparing for this stage don't have go to through surgeries and SAs and months long courses of medication to even get to a point where you could TTC, so why should it be easy from here on out? Maybe that's a bad attitude to have about it, but it is the way I feel about my crappy body right now.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I missed this thread yesterday due to work, but I just wanted to add my two cents about this topic.
Mel - I think the other ladies explained it well, and I hope you understand a bit better that saying "Just think about it differently" is easier said than done. Issues like IF and miscarriage are very unique types of grief, and I can honestly say people who have never been through them have no idea what it's actually like. I have had a few people approach me after a loss of their own and said "I am so sorry for things I said to you before. Now I understand how that must have made you feel." It changes your entire mentality and thinking process.
Contrary to some beliefs (including that of my husband), I don't sit around all day at home and mope and dwell over my losses and shoot virtual spitballs at pregnant people and mothers. I do, however, have moments of frustration and anger that the univserse is not fair, and I do joke with my friends and coworkers that I should just pick up a crack cocaine habit, because that seems to produce a lot of babies I see at work. I am coping with losses that will never completely go away, and I am dealing with them the best I can. I am on meds, I'm in therapy, I have a support system. But it's still a process, and it takes time. And "thinking differently" isn't going to make me go through that process any faster, unfortunately. I hope that makes sense.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
:-(
I know you probably get sick of hearing success stories but my SIL had been TTC since our wedding so 2+ years. She had every test and it was unexplained IF which is crazy bc she already has 2 kids. She did everything from charting, to kits etc. saw an RE and decided to do IUI. They were gonna try a few times without meds bc they didn't want multiples. Well they did one IUI and it didn't work and my SIL said she couldn't do it anymore. They decided to take a break through the holidays and discontinue seeing the RE until they were ready emotionally again. No charts, temps, kits. Well she got pregnant the next month!! She said she didn't even know how bc they only did the deed a couple times that month.
Anyway, I'm hoping your time (and all the other TTC-ers) comes soon!
:Blog:
Thinking of everyone (Kel, DD, Mary & Meghan) and hoping that things get a little easier.
Things here are moving along kind of quickly. Since finding out that we are lacking a material to get pregnant, we've moved on to the world of donor sperm. We got approved for IUI cycles from our insurance and it's possible that they'll even cover some of the cost of the sperm, so...that's kind of awesome, we weren't expecting that.
Choosing a donor bank & a donor is a really bizarre experience. Some banks have an option to listen to the donors answer interview questions, some have baby pictures. We've found one that limits it to 10 families per donor, which is really important to us (some go up to 30-40 families which seems like a lot to me. Jon thinks I'm being ridiculous, that it's not like they're all getting together so who cares, but....they might? I don't know. Either way, it makes me uncomfortable).
So we've been going through the process of getting registered at the bank and choosing which donor to go with (we have it narrowed down to 3), we have an appointment with a therapist on Monday and presuming all goes well we could be going for our first, un-medicated IUI cycle at the end of March.
This is awesome! Another thing you may or may not have thought about- there are message boards for donor families. The donors you are considering choosing may already have kids out there and you can see them. Yes, this is sort of stalker/ creepy, but my parents' friends who have used donor materials have all done this and some of them have actually logged on, become friends with other parents and met up with the half siblings of their kids. Just something to think about.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I have checked out the Donor Sibling Registry to see if I can stalk out some people and what's out there
) (maybe stalker/creepy but this whole process is so weird anyway, I figured why not..). We've talked about it a lot and I think that while we're not really interested in meeting up with others, it's cool to know that for our kid's sake that it's out there and available for when they make that decision. The 3 donors we have it narrowed down to are all new releases (I guess the samples are quarantined for a set amount of time and retested?) so I haven't found any half-siblings yet, but it's still interesting to think about as a resource for later!
Thanks for all of the it'll magically happen stories ladies. I keep telling myself the same thing (and then the devil voice pops up on the other side and says "uhh, you've thought that for the last 2 years"), but I'm still holding out hope. I stopped temping at the new year, and we're trying to just let it be until this summer. It's impossible at this point to not "try," because, well, it just isn't that hard to count in 2 week increments, but we're trying to chill out.
Firefly- I'm sure that's a "weird" (sorry can't think of a better term) experience, but I hope it works out for you. In addition to pics, can you ask them to provide IQ scores? ;-)
Mary, Kel, Meghan, and all the others- Sucks friend.
Wish I had more to say than that.
Thanks so much!
)
No, it is weird. Shopping for a person is a bizarre, not-at-all-how-this-was-supposed-to-go experience.
That would be awesome if we could get an IQ score! :op