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weight loss/diet and spouse support
For those of us trying to lose weight, what kind of support do you get from you spouse?
I'm asking because my husband would rather me eat something I really enjoy (like pizza, burgers, cake, etc.) than have me me lose weight. Now, to be fair, I am not overweight. I weigh right around 130 and am almost 5'7". But I would like to be in the mid 120s instead, and he knows that. For the most part, I eat really well, and low cal during the day, but he wants to regularly splurge on treats and bad for us food. Which I really want to as well. (Sidebar: Tman eats lots of good fruits and veggies and milk is his best friend, so I don't think that our splurging is hurting his health, which would be a factor, of course.) So, although I think he would think me more attractive (not that he'd ever say it) if I dropped a few pounds, it seems he doesn't really want me to not eat what I really enjoy to get there. He's supporting of my current appearance, but not so supportive of the steps it would take for me to get to how I would prefer to look.
So, please share with me what kind of support you receive.
TTC #2 for a million years: SA normal, CD 23 bloodwork shows nothing amiss, ovulation detected. Next step: ? maybe CD3 bloodwork to check eggs? All out of pocket, so limited IF tests/treatments.
Re: weight loss/diet and spouse support
You sound a lot like me - I'm totally fine with the way I look, but I could be happier if I lost a little weight, toned up, etc.
My trainer has given me this advice, and I take it to heart - give yourself one cheat day a week, and cheat AS MUCH as you want. He told me if I want to stuff my face with cupcakes and beer all day, so be it. The rest of the week, try to make healthy decisions. I've told DH this, and he's on board with it, so we do that on Saturdays (if you're going to binge, you might as well do it on a weekend when both can enjoy).
I think that what your husband probably wants is for you to just be happy - but the truth of the matter is, even if you love stuff like cake now, if you phase it out of your diet you'll find new foods that you enjoy almost as much. And you can still have cake - you just can't have it every day! My trainer pointed out that you don't lose or gain weight in one day - you do it over time with bad (or good) habits. He told me to never, ever beat myself up if I slip up one day, as long as I get back on the next.
I pitch it to my husband not as a weight loss goal, but as an overall increase in health goal - if I eat better I feel better; if I work out I have more energy and sleep better; if I take care of myself now, I'll mitigate some of the health concerns that tend to plague people down the road. I think it's easy for our spouses to argue with the "weight" component of getting in shape because it seems so superficial, but there are a ton of other reasons you want to eat healthy and work out. And there are ways you can still enjoy the foods you like without feeling bad about it. DH is really careful about saying anything about my weight (though thanks to my trainer's measurements, I know I dropped 5% body fat in just the past month), because he worries saying I look great now implies I didn't look great then, so he compliments me on how hard I work out, how much more muscle I have (I have biceps that show when I flex now and I am stoked!), and how much my endurance has improved.
Also, try to get your DH involved in it with you - I dragged mine to the gym last year when I started training and he started working out and now he's got really nice muscles in his arms, back, chest, and I constantly tell him how hot it is. But what's really hot is that he eats better, he runs a few times a week (so gets some good cardio in), and he's taking care of himself, because I want him to be around a long time.
Complete aside from the DH support question - do you pay attention to the gylcemic index of foods? I find that looking at that (as opposed to counting calories) is the best way to determine what you should eat to lose weight. It's really helpful for me in meal planning - I only will do low / medium glycemic index foods now when I cook.
my h is so supportive. he will do anything i ask and encourages me to do what i want, but keep my goals in mind.
he loves me big and doesn't care.. but i'm sure he likes me better smaller even though he wouldn't say it.
i'm pretty lucky! he's had to change his diet completely for me and he never complains!
My H is very supportive, but I've had a much easier time with adhering to a healthy lifestyle since he decided to make his own health a priority. There's a big difference between "good for you sweetie" and "want to go work out together". Lately, he's brought home ice cream a lot less (a weakness of mine!) and has agreed to cut back on how often we eat out.
He's always been very willing to eat whatever I cook, and has always been cheering at the finish line of my races, but knowing that he's working toward similar goals makes it much easier to stick to mine. He's also become a great spotter/coach on the weight floor. Now, if only I could get him into running!
2012 Racing Plans:
Valentine's Day Dash 5k, 02/11/2012, 33:03
Seahawks 12k, 04/01/2012, 1:23:17
Bellevue 10k, 04/29/2012
Beat the Bridge 8k, 05/20/2012
Seattle Rock n Roll Half Marathon, 06/23/2012
...more to come!
My H can eat terrible food and still be in good shape. I used to be able to do that but not anymore!
When I first started making diet dinners he was not too excited. He was like, "I have to eat diet food eeeww" but since he tasted the first Skinny Taste dinner I made I haven't heard anything about it being yucky diet food. He loves them and just eats more of it than me.
He is pretty supportive, always saying how proud he is of me for working out and dieting but if I am having a bad day and want fast food (my downfall) he is more than willing to pick it up. Sometimes I wish he would tell me no, but then I think about it and I would probably kill him if he told me no lol.
TTA buddies with EmiBird! Congrats to my former TTA buddies sammichele, pistolpackinmomma, and iloveblueberries!