Bad day

confusedmommy01

Finding out the news my dh or I should say stbxh is going to jail for awhile from violating the order of protection was upsetting enough.  But then being blamed for it by him and his family makes it even worse.  All they can point out is the mistakes I made.  Yes, I made mistakes and I admit to them, but I never tried to hurt or kill dh.  No I don't think jail is best for him, I think serious anger management program and rehab is best, but there is nothing I can do.  I really hate everything he has done to me, but I still don't want him to feel hurt.  Thatis just the type of person I am.  I did turn my phone off so I don't have to read anymore text blaming me and telling me how much of a horrible person I am.  This whole process just sucks.

LookingUp

confusedmommy01:

Finding out the news my dh or I should say stbxh is going to jail for awhile from violating the order of protection was upsetting enough.  But then being blamed for it by him and his family makes it even worse.  All they can point out is the mistakes I made.  Yes, I made mistakes and I admit to them, but I never tried to hurt or kill dh.  No I don't think jail is best for him, I think serious anger management program and rehab is best, but there is nothing I can do.  I really hate everything he has done to me, but I still don't want him to feel hurt.  Thatis just the type of person I am.  I did turn my phone off so I don't have to read anymore text blaming me and telling me how much of a horrible person I am.  This whole process just sucks.

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I actually know how you are feeling.

You say you don't want him to hurt. But you know what? He is responsible for his own actions. He violate the order of protection, so now he must pay the consequences. It's not like he didn't know what would happen.

And even if you don't think jail is best for him, that's not for you to decide. There are laws in place for a reason, and our tax money goes to pay police officers, attorneys, and judges to make sure that these abusers are not our problems.

The sooner you can accept that you are not responsible for any of this, that his behavior and his family's behavior is not acceptable, that you deserve to be happy, the sooner you can move on and start living for you and your LO. F*ck everyone else.  

DorisWE

Hang in there....and honestly, the people who know you won't make accusations and those who do don't matter in your world.  Call a good friend and take care of yourself!

MintChocoChip

((hugs)). Block his family from contacting you. Your cell provider can help you. This is not your problem anymore. You're so much better off. You'll be ok. 

lillypots

I also know how you feel.  My stbxh may go to jail also.  I feel the same way you do most of the time - sorry for him, and I feel guilty that he is in the situation because I alerted the police.  What helps is to think to yourself - if he did these things to a stranger would it be ok?  If he did these things to a stranger would he go to jail?  The answer is, no - he would never try to run a stranger off the road and expect to get away without any consequences, and yes, he would go to jail.  Why is it ok to treat your wife like that, when you would never dream of treating a stranger like that?!  That is what I try to think of when I am feeling guilty.

cemacmil

MintChocoChip:

((hugs)). Block his family from contacting you. Your cell provider can help you. This is not your problem anymore. You're so much better off. You'll be ok. 

This and more ((hugs)). I completely understand how you feel as I was being blamed by his parents for XH threats of suicide - however it is/was his actions and decisions - not yours!!!! There are people that are there for you, I know there are!

The people here are here for you too though!!!

farfalla2011

Lots and lots of hugs!!! Definitely keep your phone off so you can avoid the texts and calls. This is not your fault and you shouldn't feel bad at all. He is ultimately responsible for himself. I hope you have a good friend or someone that you can turn to so you have someone that will give you the emotional support you need right now. Keep taking it one day at a time. Things will get better!!