Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Feeling like a failure. Normal?
I am content with my decision to end my marriage, but I feel like I have failed at that part of my life. I was "supposed" to be married to that man and I was "supposed" to have a family, a home, a long life with him. It's all gone, and I feel like a complete failure.
Just having one of those rough days...
Re: Feeling like a failure. Normal?
Totally normal. We have actually been talking about working things out but I am conflilcted and part of me feels like I really AM over it and just want to move on. But the other part feels like I should try and if I don't I will have failed without trying.
<hugs>
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
((group hug))
i know what both of you mean re: feeling like a failure and wanting to try, even though a part of you feel like it's already over.
no words of wisdom except to hang in there and keep on keeping on, that's all we can do. we have to trust ourselves that we made the right choice, whether it's giving it one more try or being done.
we can do this!
You know, I don't feel like I've failed in my eyes with my marriage/relationships, but I definitely feel like I've failed in the eyes of others. I feel like *they* (i.e. everyone) shake their heads and say, "Oh, Emmii...she'll never find a good and solid relationship. She effs up everything she touches."
It really messes with my head sometimes.
It's definitely a normal feeling, though. But what you have to realize is...you HAVE tried. You wouldn't be feeling this way if you hadn't. People who don't bother, have no guilt.
It's all a part of the process. It'll be OK. Just give it time.
Very normal feeling - it shall pass with time.
I tried for almost 2 years - therapy - begging - pleading - leaving - coming back, etc. but what I realize as I sit at home alone every nights is that I did everything I could have done to save my marriage! H just went along for the ride never doing his part - taking responsiblity for anything - he just sat there (either at home or in therapy) with a smug look on his face - laughing at everything. But I miss my H daily to the point where it hurts and I cry a lot but like everything else, time will help in the healing process. Take it one day at time!
Totally normal.
With marriage comes the expectation of staying together for life with all the expectations that comes with it. You had that expectations and now it all tumbles. It is normal to grieve the loss of that dream regardless of the reasons of separation. Just remember that every ending has a new beginning.
As for what other people think of you... it might not be as bad as you think. I think we subconsciously feel like others are judging us because we feel that failure but look at the evidence as well as we are often so hard on ourselves. Do people really hate on you? Of course some will judge but I think it is because they have their own feelings associated with ?divorce? that have to do with their experiences so it is more about their belief system and not yours.
Hang in there and keep your chin up.
Don't doooooo it! You're almost home free!
HAHAHA! There have been HUGE strides made just in the last 1 1/2 weeks, especially on his part.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
I was a massive failure in the eyes of my community when I couldn't make my first marriage work. And then I realized who the f were they? I chose them as a community, I could unchoose them. So I did.
And now, I am the queen of awesome.
A failed marriage doesn't mean a failed life. Failure is not doing what's best for you. Failure is letting someone else bring you down to their level. You are not a failure. You will be a success by taking a risk that's adverse to what may be "easier" so that you can be better for it in the end.