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WWSO Do? Post-breakup belongings retrieval
Maybe some of you remember my post a few weeks back wondering about my bf of 9 months and his contact with his ex. Well, we have now broken up after a couple of tumultous weeks. I cannot say for sure why our relationship ended. Shortly after I wrote that post he became a person I didn't know. I've gotten no explanation from him other than a text saying "You deserve so much better than me". That's putting it mildly.
There was no official breakup, he just basically dropped off the planet, after 9 months of what I thought was a loving relationship, a beautiful vacation and numerous weekends away, weddings, family events, plans for marriage, children, and a whole life together. Of course I'm devastated by the loss of what I thought I had, but I recognize that I don't want to be with someone who would ever treat me like this and I'm moving forward accordingly. In no way do I want him back.
However, when we were making our "plans", he cleaned out a whole closet for me in his house to store my summer clothes since I have such small closets in my apartment. In his words, I would be living there by the time I needed them again anyway so I might as well put them there. And of course, that's where they are now. I'd be willing to forego some toiletries in the name of never having to see him again, but well, I want my clothes back.
He's made a couple of lame attempts to text me this week, like asking if I hate him (I didn't respond) and one night at 11:30 asking if I'm awake (I wasn't, and I never am that late on a weeknight). So this morning I texted him asking if he would be home after work so I could come get my things. Made arrangements for a friend to come with me since all the stuff is a 2 person job, plus I wanted a buffer to avoid an ugly scene or me breaking down in any way. I hate looking weak in front of a man. Unfortunately after we made this plan an ugly text war ensued and I really unleashed on him and said some mean things (true, but mean nonetheless). I'm pretty mad at myself for being weak like that. His responses were just what they've been lately, cold and uncaring.
So in a few hours I'll be going to his place and getting my things. I can't decide if I should just send my friend up to do it alone, or still go up with her. Part of me wants him to have to FACE me, even if we don't have a conversation. Just to have to LOOK at what he thew away for the very last time. The other part of me wants to send a message like "You are worth so little I don't even want to see you one last time" by sending just my friend.
Whatever the outcome, tomorrow I block his number from being able to text or call my phone. I don't want to anticipate hearing from him and I don't want to hear anything he may have to say. But tonight, what would you do?
You gotta get spanked by a lot of frogs...
Re: WWSO Do? Post-breakup belongings retrieval
Ditto Kuus, get in and get out. Avoid contact with him.
If you cannot go there without making a scene, don't go in; send a friend. You might even call the police for what is called a 'civil standby', where they'll come and sort of wait around to make sure that nothing escalates into a fight when you're just there to get stuff and leave.
You sound like you want the scene/confrontation. Don't do it.
My friend had to work late and couldn't make it so I just went myself. Not sure where you're getting that I wanted a scene, I just didn't want to cry and look pathetic in front of him. In the end it couldn't have been more civil. We talked a bit, no yelling, and at least gave it a little closure. He helped me get my things to the car and we hugged goodbye, no police detail necessary. The end. Now pardon me while I get back to my Adele playlist.