Pets
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
grief / furniture damage prevention
So, after finding out 3 weeks ago that our just under 3 year old cat had very serious heart disease,and going through an entire roller coaster of emotions, hospital visits, special visits, frantic phone calls, pills, force syringe feeding, and her then magically getting her appetite back and seeming completely fine for a week, she went into heart failure for the 2nd time on Monday and we had to put her down. I never thought I'd be so hysterical over anything. I am not even a crier, but this has been very hard on me. I think the biggest problem for me is how young she was, how sudden it seemed, and actually watching her go through the heart failure the last time. Part of me doesn't ever want another pet again, but part of me can't take how lonely our place feels without her. I've read that if you get another pet before you've fully grieved over your pet's loss you can wind up resenting it, and I surely don't want to do that. What do you think a good waiting period is before getting a new cat? (yes I will surely adopt from a shelter)
Also, our cat was the first cat I've ever had and she was ridiculously good about our furniture. She never damaged anything, never scratched anything or anyone, never bit us, even when we were giving her 4-5 different pills daily. I know we need to be realistic that the next cat will not have the same temperament and may very well damage some of our things. My only main concern is a nice leather sofa we got this year. I was thinking I could put a cheap slip cover over top of it as a precaution, but didn't know if cats can get through that easily?
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Re: grief / furniture damage prevention
I'm so sorry about your cat; that is so, so sad.
I have not lost a pet as an adult yet. I am not sure how I would grieve, though everyone here says that everyone grieves differently. Some of us have needed a very long time to get over it and to be ready for another pet. I suspect that I would adopt another dog very quickly (within a week, possibly), because that's just how I operate.
As for scratching, there are a few things you can do. First, you could adopt an already declawed cat from the shelter, if that is something you are up to dealing with (declawed cats can have behavioral/personality issues...see the FAQ on the first page of this board). Or, you could adopt a cat with claws and trim them. We trim our cats' nails weekly. You can also use nail caps, like Soft Claws. We have used them intermittently with our cats. We love them, but we never keep up with them.
We also have lots of things for the cats to scratch. I got them this the other day. They also have a huge cat tree covered with different materials for scratching (sisal, carpet, etc). My cats love the cardboard scratchers but they make SUCH a mess...I can't deal.
We also cover our furniture with old comforters unless people are over. It keeps the fur off the actual furniture, and it prevents stains/scratches.
My Lunch Blog
I'm so sorry for your loss
(
Every person is different so there is no one answer that is going to work.
I just lost a cat in November (I had two) and it was awful. The house felt so empty and lonely after he was gone, even though the rest of us were still here. We decided to wait until the holidays were over and then adopt another cat. That is considered fast by a lot of people, but it was right for us (humans).
I ended up getting two because they were young and I wanted them to keep each other company (and leave my 11 year old alone). I highly recommend considering 2 cats. There are so many that need homes, but also having seen my 2 love each other for 11 years made me want to always have more than one.
I too was a bit nervous about the personality of a new cat because my two would NEVER bite or scratch us, but going to a shelter and spending time with the cats reassured me. Cats do behave differently in the shelter, but you can get a good feel for what cat will work for your home. You could also get one from a foster situation and then you can get even more feedback on the cat's personality.
As for nails, Soft Paws is always an option. They are plastic nail cap covers. Providing a variety of scratching posts in a variety of locations can also help to solve it, but my cats were stubborn and I didn't have time to fully address it in that way, so I went with the Soft Paws. I also started my two new boys on it as soon as I got them and everyone does great - and my furniture is safe.
)
Good luck and again, I'm sorry for what you've had to go through.
Thank you. I do think it would be nice to get two cats, as they could keep each other company, but we live in a condo and are only allowed to have one. Don't think we could hide it too well either since we are right next to the main office and our last cat always hung out in the front window. (It's a stupid rule, I know) I will definitely visit a new cat at the shelter multiple times before adopting to try to "pick a good one." That's how we picked Coconut, and she turned out to be awesome. My only hesitation with getting one from foster care is that I fear the cat would already be attached to it's fosters parents and experience anxiety from the separation. Is that silly? I know when we brought our baby home from the shelter she just seemed so grateful to be out of that tiny little space. I wouldn't want a foster cat to resent having left an awesome space. Does that make any sense? Am I over thinking this?
I'm so sorry. When I lost my kitten to cardiomyopathy last year, I got on a waiting list for a breeder (the breed of cat I lost is prone to HCM) and figured it would be at least a year until there was a kitten available for me. I was searching petfinder just for kicks about a week after Lily died and ended up finding "the one". I knew in my heart that this cat was the one I was meant to adopt, even though she was in a shelter 16 hours away. I drove down that night and adopted her the next day, sight unseen. It was the best decision I ever made.
Youll know when it's the right time.
As for nail trims- we have several cats, and it takes me less than 20 minutes a week to get everyone trimmed.
As for fosters- they'll bond with you! Think of it this way- tons of older cats who used to have families end up in shelters, and go on to live happy loving lives with a second family. A foster is no different