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Apparently I'm a terrible friend...
I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night. H has gone to a buddy's house and I didn't feel like going along this time. His buddy is a bachelor and a nice guy but they mostly talk about cars etc and I'm not interested (but I usually go along anyways.)
I could have gone out with friends, but well, I have none.
I never have been the type of person with a lot of friends. In the past I have had 1, occasionally 2 people I would consider good friends. I have a hard time making friends (or maybe it's that I don't know how to make friends? is that weird?) but an even harder time keeping them. I haven't had any major differences with any of them (other than I get along much better with people older than me because I'm very mature), and in the past I have been nearly inseparable with specifically two friends, but eventually the friendship fizzles out and now I may talk to those two friends once a year, if that. My best friend from childhood stood up as my maid of honor at my wedding, not because she is CURRENTLY my best friend but because to be honest I had no one else to ask.
I have tried different social outings and things but it almost feels forced or like pressure to find a friend, I hate that.
I have been in this city for two years. Still can't say I have one gal friend in my contacts list. Makes for nights like this to be VERY boring.
Re: Apparently I'm a terrible friend...
Goddammit. I wrote a long response and the Nest fuccking ate it. Whatever. The gist of the long response was:
I don't know you or anything, but it's not necessarily that you're a terrible friend. It's really hard to make new friends in a new city, especially when you tend towards the introverted side of things. When you don't have the aid of school and commonalities there, it's harder to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Your best bet is going to be those kinds of social outings where you put yourself in a group of people that have at least one common interest, like knitting or some team sport or something. It will be awkward. You're going to meet people that you don't click with more often than not, but you have to keep doing it. Eventually, with some person, the small talk will evolve beyond small talk and you'll find things you have in common and eventually you'll have new friendship.
But sometimes you have to wade through a lot of people to get there, I think. The only way to get there is to keep trying. I mean, even weirdo freaks have friends. If you're a weirdo, and you put yourself out there enough, you'll find some other weirdo to be friends with. But if you stay in and don't try, then no, you won't make any new friends.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Haha... What this person said.
You just sound sooooo mature. Just like I am soooo typing this sarcastically. You may want to look at yourself and ask why can't I make friends and when I do why can't I keep them? Grow up.
Mature? I don' tknow about that. How old are you, anyway?
You make friends by being one. You have to actually BE a friend. And if all your former friends have dumped you, you have to look at yourself as the common denominator here. You don't present yourself here as anything other than pretty self absorbed and self pitying, and yet with very little self knowledge, and frankly you are pretty off-putting in your post.
Were I you, I would start with some therapy. Sounds like you need some, to help you with self awareness and how you appear to others. I'd also start some volunteer work, to get yourself 'out of yourself' and focusing on others' needs, as opposed to you you you.