I thought of you BNOTB ladies. LIP

LuckyStar86

I've been doing some more "baby-free" reading, since SO and I have been revealing our choice to some of my family members, who are the ones that I expect to react badly. My cousin and his fiance were the first ones to be told, and they were surprisingly very happy that we were taking the time to think it through rather than "jumping on the baby bandwagon" as my cousin put it. I found an article that I think will be very helpful to any new BNOTB nesties, it was very helpful to me and I'm glad I found it. She nailed a lot of thoughts and opinions I've had right on the head.

 

http://voices.yahoo.com/reactions-choosing-live-childfree-1498397.html

watson wedding2011

well said.

JessieR933

I liked it so much I put it on my facebook page.

Stellina+Amour

There are some very interesting points there.

Some of my friends are having children and I'm especially surprised to realize that they got pregnant merely to satisfy a non-better identified "desire" to be pregnant. Well, in my opinion THAT'S selfish! Deciding to not have children per se isn't freaking selfish, having them on a WHIM is!

So every time we talk the conversation inevitably turns to how and how fast they plan on going back to their lives before the kid. And I'm like, well what's the effing point of having a kid in the first place!?

IDK, it just strikes me as irresponsible. Almost reckless.

Edited - changed a word

ka429

Thanks for the link. I have a lot of the same feelings and thoughts as the author of this article. I can't believe someone told her that they hoped she would get pregnant by accident.  

I knew from a young age that I didn't really want to have kids and didn't even know if I would even get married. I would get b!tched out and I mean B!TCHED OUT by my stepdad for saying I didn't want kids back then (middle/high school).  One reason I don't want kids (and it is a big one) is because I have a lot of issues that I am still trying to work through that stem from having such a sh!tty childhood.

Same for my DH. Neither of us want to have kids and then end up subjecting them to our issues (or ever let our toxic family members around the kids). I know I would do my damnedest to give them a better life than I ever had, but we just don't think it's worth it to us. 

ka429

Wow, sorry that turned into kind of a vent. : So, on a lighter note, the responses to rude questions about having children on this site make me LOL: http://www.happilychildfree.com/bingo.htm

iLikeSloths

I enjoyed this article.  Thanks for sharing.  DH and I are currently undecided if we want kids, but I can relate to a lot of the stupid arguments I've heard from others about not understanding why people could possibly never want children.   

I especially love these two points: 

"Oh you'll change your mind", followed by a chuckle. I always just smiled and moved on; experiencing a mixture of insult and amusement that someone would think I was not mature enough to decide not to have children but somehow was mature enough to have a child.

The money we earn will be spent on us, vacations, trips, and savings for retirement. To some people this will sound selfish but I disagree. I do not think people become parents because they are being charitable. 

So true. 

ka429:

I can't believe someone told her that they hoped she would get pregnant by accident.  

And seriously!  Can you imagine if the situation was reversed and the author told the woman she hoped she couldn't have kids?  It can be traumatic for someone either way depending on what they do and don't want in life, and I hate the double standard.