Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please help me understand what is going on with me
About a month ago I broke up with my fiance and returned the ring like he asked me. Up until now, I had been doing great and pretty optimistic about my future. I really felt like I had made the right decision.
But today was not a good day for me at all. I feel like I miss him and those special times. I don't know why I do this to myself and think of what went wrong and that maybe we can still fix it. I need to stop dwelling on the memories. I have not spoken to him since the day we called it quits....I feel tempted to reach out to him but I know its not the best idea. I cannot stand to listen to love songs. The more other guys show interest in me, the more I start reminiscing about my ex. You'll think it'll be the opposite. I'm just not ready to date anyone and can't even process that thought right now! I want to focus on myself and just learn to be a better person. I'm feeling so heartbroken right now. I poured my heart and soul into this relationship for 10 years and it was hurtful, maybe I could've handle things differently. I don't understand how I go from feeling I made the right decision to this. Is this normal? I wasted this whole day and pity and don't want another day like this.
Re: Please help me understand what is going on with me
It's going to take time. You don't get over a 10 year relationship overnight. Even though you broke up w/ him, even though it's probably for the best- sure, you're going to remember the good times too and miss them. HOnestly- GOOD. Do you really want to think you spent 10- years w/ a person and didn't enjoy ANY of it? Of course you're going to reminisce!!
But also remind yourself of why you ended it! There IS a reason. And give yourself time to grieve. And don't date. NOt for awhile.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is completely normal. You are probably missing the comfort of being in a relationship more than you actually miss him. When you feel down, just think about all of the reasons why you left and with time, things will get better.
I completely agree with EastCoastBride. And it is completely normal to have some tough times to get through it all. 10 years is a long time. Just keep focusing on you, let yourself feel the things you need to and eventually it will get easier.