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I got the last two (worried grandma)

I'm not sure how much I missed though 

Re: I got the last two (worried grandma)


  • Sort:  Oldest to newest  Newest to oldest 
    03-19-2012 at 8:24 PM
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    livinitup
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    Joined on 03-17-2006
    new york
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    livinitup is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 12:35 PMGold

    Re: Worried my daughter's In - laws will control their lives

    You keep saying "the kids" like you are refering to children. These are adults. I know you mean it as an endearment, but I think you see them as small children in need of protection.

    They aren't. Your daughter isn't.

    If she chooses to be a doormat to her MIL, you can encourage her to be her own person. But you can't be smarter than she is. And I'm sorry, SHE bought a condo with a crappy inspection. As an adult. It was a stupid mistake. Stop acting like she is a victim. She's not.

    Start expecting her to act like a grown-up and maybe she will be one. This "poor daughter" routine is very destructive. For both of you.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old. 
    03-19-2012 at 8:55 PM
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    Novemberro...
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    Joined on 02-21-2008
    Jersey
    29,201 Points
    Novemberrocks is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 1:35 PMSilver

    You remind me of my mom. That's not a compliment. 

     

    image March Madness is here. Get excited. 
    03-19-2012 at 9:00 PM
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    suprlittle...
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    Joined on 03-20-2012
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    suprlittlemama is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 9:43 AMNewbie

    I believe I am the daughter in this story.  It's a long story of how I found this post but suffice to say one of my friends visits this site regularly and recognized the details of my life and pointed me to it.  I feel like I need to come on here and clear a couple or a lot of things up.

    First of all I love my parents very much and that will never change because family is family.  But in regards to our wedding, it may have sounded as if my inlaws only paid for a few things, limo, invitations, etc.  The limo however was a stretch and in the back were several beverages including sparkling cider and cheese plate.  I have very warm memories of sitting there with my fiance now husband and riding, and being so excited to be man and wife.  So yes it was not a large contribution but it is not always the dollar value that determines how important it is to the bride/daughter and son/groom.

    Also I agree to a certain extent that we should not have bought and moved into the villa but I had to take into account the wishes and beliefs of my hubby and his family and they were very strongly feeling that this was the right choice.  And as was said I was tired of being up in the air and wanted to live somewhere permanent.  The house has a lot of problems but I don't want people to come here and read this and think that our baby is going to live in a mess.  The rats are gone.  I saw something a few weeks ago that could have been a dropping but I haven't seen anything else since so it was probably a one-off feces that one tends to see in any house in an area where rats can live.

    As for the baby gifts issues it is true that my mother inlaw said she bought a lot of items and the whole trip became very tense.  I do not care who buys what.  I just want my baby to have enough clothes and bibs and such.  I don't think that is wrong.  I have alot more to say about the furniture and the options for growing with the child but maybe I will talk that through in another post.  Right now I just wanted to put out there that I love my family very much but I have to find a way to work my hubby and his parents into many aspects of my life.  Even though we are already 26 and have several years of experience being in a marriage it is a work in progress like any relationship.  I like that my mother wears the friend hat and the mother hat and I try to wear both the daughter hat and the friend hat, but sometimes it's hard to know which hat I should wear to match her hat.

    Lastly for now I think it's important to note that I AM independent and take care of my household and our life but it's always comforting and helpful when our parents will help out such as with financial assistance.
     
    03-19-2012 at 9:07 PM
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    suprlittle...
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    suprlittlemama is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 9:43 AMNewbie

    At noisy_penguin I don't think people should talk about others as "those Turks" in this day and age.

    image noisy_penguin:

    image wingedbride:
    You are already deciding what would be the ideal child care situation for a not yet born child when you say that you don't know what they're plans are. Again, BACK OFF. Stop thinking about this without their input. Holy crap. And for the record you are the one who said you "went off" at his mother. I never put those words in your mouth. 

    Uh, yeah. Whoa. You've certainly got a lot of ideas about how they should run their lives and a lot of ideas about how those Turks do things. Posts like these always remind me how awesome my mom and my ILs are. 

     
    03-19-2012 at 9:10 PM
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    wingedbrid...
    Not Ranked
    Joined on 05-03-2006
    Houston
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    wingedbride is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 3:28 PMPlatinum
    Omg it's genetic. And seriously I didn't realize that cleaning my house made me independent. I mean, what else do you do?
    image 
    Request my alliance now!Votes for sale! 
     
    03-19-2012 at 9:10 PM
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    suprlittle...
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    Joined on 03-20-2012
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  • 03-20-2012 at 8:11 AMimageReturnOfKu...Not RankedJoined on 03-13-2006your worst nightmares18,108 Posts54,933 PointsReturnOfKuus is online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 12:10 PMPlatinumRe: Worried my daughter's In - laws will control their livesNO, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!Where is the wimpy son-in-law?  Is he going to get on here, too?  Anyway, what strikes me as being enmeshed and not the slightest bit independent isn't the money, but the fact that the daughter keeps running to her mother with every little damn disagreement in her marriage, and then said that she had to take what is important to her in-laws into consideration when picking her own home.  All of this is absolutely insane.  I guess I can see how parents would want to keep control over their sons and daughters long after they're grown adults, but I can't for the life of me understand why the daughter and her husband in this scenario have no desire whatsoever to make their own decisions and live their own lives.If this isn't a knockoff of a Faulkner play, then you all need some heavy-duty therapy. 
    image ReportBlockimageReplyQuoteContact03-20-2012 at 8:16 AMimageHappyTummy...Not RankedJoined on 09-15-20074,809 Posts31,517 PointsHappyTummy613 is online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 12:08 PMSilverGeorge Foreman makes a nice grill.
    image ReportBlockimageReplyQuoteContact03-20-2012 at 8:20 AMimageCaliopeSpi...Not RankedJoined on 09-15-2006Mt. Hood, Oregon17,232 Posts86,968 PointsCaliopeSpidrman is online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 12:12 PMPlatinumhttp://www.media-kb.com/films/screenshots/my_big_fat_greek_wedding_411.jpgimage ReportBlockimageReplyQuoteContact03-20-2012 at 8:41 AMimageLordofthet...Not RankedJoined on 03-20-20123 Posts63 PointsLordoftheturks is not online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 11:48 AMNewbieMy son is not wimpy.  He does not even like hamburgers.  Well, in truth, he's never had a true hamburger as the cow is sacred in our culture, but he has had homelandburgers and he found them to be dry and flavorless. ReportBlockimageReplyQuoteContact03-20-2012 at 8:52 AMimageKarma1969Not RankedJoined on 05-31-2004Michigan9,428 Posts23,508 PointsKarma1969 is online. Last active: 03-20-2012, 12:11 PMGoldimage salimoo:image Karma1969:The daughter magically appears with a SN of today's date. Grandma has a split personality and the H and his parents think she is the psycho.I'm not sure what your point is here? 
    I have no idea what my point was anymore. image BFF ReportBlockimageReplyQuoteContact03-20-2012 at 9:14 AM<img border="1" style="bord
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