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Am I a horrible person?
We adopted a dog about a month ago and she is wonderful. She's house trained and picks up quickly on tricks, leaves our cats alone, everything. Except she seems to have separation anxiety... We've been working with her on crate training, and she does fine at night when we got to bed, but, during the day, she goes nuts. She's chewed through the airport type crates, bent the bars out, and broken the latch for it.
And she's hurting herself in the process, which makes me feel even worse.
Before you ask, yes, she has toys, food, water, etc in with her, and it's not a small crate either.
We tried leaving her outside, but that wasn't any better, even went so far as to leave her in the house, which she then destroyed 3 sets of blinds.
She's not getting any better with the crate training at all, either.
We're thinking of we have to give her away to someone with more time, since we don't have the time to help her over come this.... Which the idea of all of this just makes me feel so bad for our dog. I don't want to be classified as one of "those" people that get's an animal "just 'cause" or "it's cute". I also don't want to be part of a further anxiety issue either...
Sorry for the story, just want opinions.
Re: Am I a horrible person?
My opinion probably isn't going to be a popular one, but I'll give it anyway.
It sounds like you've tried everything that is normally suggested.
I wouldn't judge someone for giving that dog back/away/taking it to a shelter.
Obviously you don't know what the issue is, but something in your house/life isn't putting the dog at ease and is causing it a lot of issues and stress.
It's just not a good fit.
If you're giving it to someone that's going to take the time to properly train the dog and will love and care for it as it needs, no, you're not a horrible person.
if you don't find said person and you're giving it to someone that has no more time (or experience) than you, you're not doing it any favors
if you take it to pound/shelter, yes, you're a horrible person and should take the time to look into a trainer and research proper ways to help your dog with separation anxiety.
IMHO.
I agree. If the dog is not thriving in your home, and you find someone in whose home the dog should thrive, you're doing the right thing.
I had to get rid of a dog. He literally peed everywhere, even on the couch, all the time. He clearly wasn't happy in our home, and nothing we did helped it. He now LOVES his new home, and he doesn't have accidents. That was the best choice for him.
Okay, I'll bite. I think you're horrible. Animals are my soap box issue and I think that when you adopt a pet, you are taking that dog for LIFE.
Have you gone to the vet? They have anti-anxiety medications for dogs. They have been helpful in controlling Separation Anxiety.
Have you called a behaviorist? Not a Petco puppy trainer, a real live dog behaviorist? Your vet might be able to recommend one.
Have you tried taking your dog (what kind of dog?) for long (45 minutes at least) walks in the morning and evening to wear them out?
It doesn't sound like you've tried everything to me.
-- Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! --
We bought the Bach Rescue Remedy Pet for her, as we didn't want to put her on those pills. I've heard they completely take the life away from a dog, and I don't want her to be like that. The vet even warmed about that happening.
I called the only behaviorist available around me. Her answer was to let her roam the house and make sure she has a spot to pee inside. I don't think that's the right answer to the problem, especially since she didn't address any of the destructive behaviors my dog is showing.
As for the walks, we try to take a long one every evening. We don't have time in the mornings for it as we already wake up at 5 am for our commute, so I guess your right on not everything.
I would start with your vet - talk to him about the issues you've had and the steps you've taken. He'll be able to recommend some ideas you can try yourself and can give you a referral to a trainer who can help. Exercise is also important...they get to get out, play and have fun, and then just crash out.
But all the advice and training in the world won't help...you'll have to put in the work to help the dog learn. My parents hired the expensive trainer to help them control their dogs, but once my mom started feeling "mean" about it and let them slip back into their old habits, it was a lost cause.
I would really suggest putting a little more work into this before calling it quits.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
You could get up 30 minutes earlier. You could get up 15 minutes earlier and try to streamline your morning routine a little. There are options here...whether you want to take them or not is up to you. If you're just looking for someone to tell you, "Yeah, sure, get rid of the dog" you already got that.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
Look, it's obvious you already feel sh!tty about this. But I'm not going to justify you giving your dog away.
Also? If you don't want this dog how are you going to find someone who does? There are SO MANY animals in shelters - healthy, non-anxiety ridden dogs, that finding someone who will take your dog is going to be difficult.
And if you take her back to the shelter -- well then it's like having two strikes against her. People will want to know why she came back and then they'll turn their nose up when they hear.
There are other options.
ETA: Look into a Thundershirt as well. I have friends who have used one with great success.-- Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! --
We dealt with something like this. It was awful! But don't give up on her. Start with a visit to the vet. Medication can help. I've heard great things about the Thundershirt!
Are you making the crate a fun place? A place with special toys and special treats with a blanket, food, and water?
Don't make a big deal out of it when you leave and come back, either. Ignore her when you come back and distract her with a toy or treat when you leave.
Also, I'd look in to doggie daycare a few times a week.
I know it's tough, but keep working at it!