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Have any of you fought for a dog in a divorce? Long...
Hi,
I only come here occasionally so sorry to pop in. I have two dogs and I am getting a divorce. My older dog, a boxer mix, Nico, is 10 plus years old. My H and I adopted her together--I spotted her at the shelter and saw her potential, he walked right by her. But he adopted her in his name because I already had a dog (shepherd that died). He had always wanted a dog, never had one, etc. We weren't married at that point.
Fast forward 9 years and he told me he would not take her but now he says he will. I am devastated. I have been sobbing this morning but I sure haven't cried like this over my H going!
I have paid for most of her vet care (one of the big issues in our marriage was that he didn't work much and I had to support us). I don't know if I can prove that though. I also don't know how he can pay for her vet care, esp. as she gets older.
We have another younger dog who is sort of special needs. He looks to her for guidance and I have no idea how he will even do without her around. Plus, she has clearly chosen me as her favorite adult. If my H and I are in the same room and I leave, she waits a minute and then comes to wherever I have gone and settles there. If my H leaves the room she stays in the room because I am still there. Sorry this is so long, I am desperate and want to know what sort of proof I would need for court?
I am meeting with a divorce lawyer tomorrow for a consultation but I don't know how long I'll get with her and if we'll get to the Nico custody issue. Sorry so long.
Re: Have any of you fought for a dog in a divorce? Long...
I don't have experience with the divorce aspect - but as for proving you paid for vet bill, you can probably get records of those transactions from your bank and vet whether you paid via check/debit card etc. If it's a joint checking account, see if the vet/bank can find paper work with your signature on it, if you paid via check, see if you can find the register with the check copy from the vet.
I would wait and see with the lawyer says before you do anything - he/she will probably have much better (and legal!) ways of going about things. I'm sure they will also have ways to prove your ex-H can't pay for vet bills, etc. To me, it sounds like you have a good case - but I'm not a judge or lawyer! Good Luck!
Not in a divorce, but in a breakup with an exFI. We had been sharing the dogs- had a mom and one of her pups, who was about 4 years old at the time and they had never been separated. He had gotten the mom while we were broken up, so I always considered her to be his and the pup to be mine.
So long story short, I went to pick them both up for the weekend and he didn't "like how I was acting", so he decided he wasn't giving either of them to me, so I called the cops. I had the pup's AKC papers which showed I was the owner, so I didn't forsee much of a problem but he finally gave me the pup before the cops showed up.
That was the end of joint custody LOL.
No advice but good luck
What a sad situation. I hope you get your pups! I imagine the lawyer will have dealt with this before and have a good idea?
When I broke up with my live-in BF years ago he started complaining about me taking the cats but then let it go and I'm so thankful. I can't imagine having to fight for them and potentially losing. Ugh. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I'm not sure it will matter that you've paid the vet bills, as the courts look at your bank accounts as joint assets. Just because it came out of your account, doesn't mean it is 100% your money, do you know what I mean?
But maybe if you can show that you're the primary caregiver - a letter from the vet, dog park, somewhere that knows you and your dogs together, and rarely see's your husband there - they could attest that you are the primary care taker.
Good luck!
FF
Hi there, so sorry you're going through this. I went through a very similar experience recently, and it was one of the first things I told my lawyer in our initial consult - right off the bat. I wanted both dogs, even though one was not adopted in my name. I walked away from money and some physical possessions, but was able to keep both dogs, in the end. Ex-h was cooperative to a point - and only after I explained to him that it was in both of the dogs' best interest to stay together, and that if separated, they would grieve, etc. I would probably tell your lawyer that you are the primary caregiver, that you work/have a job/can afford to take care of the dogs and have been for a long time, etc.
Not sure if this helps - good luck to you, and your pups!
Thank you all so much for your support and advice. Especially you dogmama as that sounds so similar to my situation.
I realize no one on a website can give legal advice and normally I would not post with that question. I think I freaked out this morning when I read the email from my H and was not thinking clearly.
Anyway, time to take the dogs out! Thanks again!
:-)
I got divorced within the last year, and I also took the dogs. I took them both with me when I initially left- which was in the middle of the day and with anything I could fit in my and my aunt's car. He initially said he wanted them both, or that he wanted "visitation" or "joint custody" of them. I told him point blank that I would not give up the dogs. If there was any question, my name was on their paperwork (from breeder and AKC), I knew the vet would be able to document that I was their sole car provider, and I planned to fight for them.
My situation sucked because I did let him have the girls for 3 days while I was trying to find a place to live and he called me and sent me a text on day 3 saying I needed to pick them up because they ran out of food a day and a half earlier, he had fed them only bologna since then and they were sitting by the door crying all day and night. I took them that day and never took them back.
I had both of the pups listed on the divorce decree as property with their names and AKC numbers and assigned as being awarded exclusively to me. I did consult with a lawyer and he assisted with drafting the settlement agreement. XH did eventually agree to all of the terms of the settlement.